3rd baby - tell me it's all going to be OK

[ByDreamyMintNewt]

Hi,

I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant with my 3rd child. This pregnancy was unplanned. In all honesty, I considered termination but couldn't bring myself to do it, so that kind of made my decision for me. My other two are 6 and almost 4 (boy and girl, this is another boy). I thought my anxiety was settling down after about 18 weeks, but lately I keep feeling more moments of panic. I also have moments of happiness and excitement. My husband is fine and doesn't really seem to worry.

I'm so nervous about going back to the baby stage. Scared of being spread too thin. Worried about money (especially with finance constantly in the news currently due to the election). My current two children are fantastic and I never felt like this during my pregnancies, now my head is constantly full of what ifs and worries this is a mistake.

Can someone please reassure me that it all turns out OK?!

It won't just be ok, it'll be great! I have three and love it, wouldn't change a thing. You just lower expectations a little, enjoy the small stuff- watch their relationships grow and develop, the older ones learn so much from being older brothers/sisters- they will make you proud.

Similar age gap here by the way too. Mine were 5 and 2 when my youngest was born.

It'll be fine! I had number 3 when my other two were 4 and 7. They absolutely adore her, help us with her, entertain her, take her to the toilet, watch her playing outside now they are 3, 8 and 11 and when she was a baby they fetched nappies and wipes, watched her on the mat when I popped to make a tea or to the toilet. Honestly, enjoy the new baby, the early stage doesnt last long and you'll get into the swing of things.

My third is 7 weeks old, I have 2 others 8 and 4. This was also unexpected but it was meant to be. Don’t get me wrong, it has its moments and it’s hard to stretch yourself 3 ways, but you manage and for the most part everything is running smoothly. I find I am much more relaxed this time round and whatever I was worried about has not been worth worrying about. The older ones are old enough to understand that you have to deal with the baby, although I will say that my 4 year old has regressed a little bit and struggles that he’s not the baby anymore. I just make sure I make time for them all and try to balance things as much as I can. My husbands main job is to entertain the older 2 when he’s not at work so they get attention and I can focus on the baby. I found that although I was freaking about having 3, he wasn’t worried at all - but to be fair his life doesn’t change much! He goes to work as normal, it’s me that it affects more. You’ll be fine, it will all work out. Good luck x

Thank you. It really helps to hear the positive messages. I look around and see plenty of families with three kids who seem to be doing fine, but then it also seems to be there's a lot of negativity around having another. I just keep feeling like "wtf am I doing?!" It's kind of surreal.

I think my main worries now are financial and for the future in that sense. Also a bit sad about taking maternity leave at a time I was just getting going with work again. But then I try and tell myself that at least maybe it's motivation to work that bit harder to try and have a good future, and I do have many, many years more of work ahead.