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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Missed Miscarriage - Best Option?

45 replies

TruthUnwinding · 30/06/2024 13:42

Hello. I posted the other day regarding a missed miscarriage and what to do. I had a scan last week which confirmed my baby stopped growing at 6 weeks, and I am now past the 10 week mark. My body still feels nauseous and exhausted, it's horrible!

I am due to go in for my 'final' scan on Wednesday, and then I have asked for the surgical operation under general anaesthetic. My NHS counsellor (previous pregnancy nurse) has suggested this, due to my previous 2 traumatic losses.

Is the surgical option with general anaesthetic the best option? I am a little scared about the GA as I haven't had it before, but the other options (MVA, medical) sound harrowing!

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:03

Dryshampoofordays · 01/07/2024 19:09

I’m sorry OP, choose whichever feels like the least worst option, there are no good choices it’s so unfair. Take care of yourself x

That is very true! I think GA seems like the least worst option.

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:06

ladycarlotta · 01/07/2024 19:34

So very sorry you are in this position, OP. I've had two MMC and both times opted for the D&C under GA. Unfortunately both times they had me waiting too long for surgery and I miscarried at home which was nightmarish and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I had retained products both times and still had to have a D&C anyway.

Like a PP said, it was a huge huge relief to come out of surgery and know that it was definitely all over with. Walking around knowing you are still carrying that wanted pregnancy, feeling all the symptoms, knowing it has stopped progressing, is a special kind of hell. Once it was done I felt immediate peace and closure, and all the staff were so nice. So personally I'd recommend D&C but don't be afraid to be assertive about getting it asap. Maybe my local trust is particularly crappy - I would hope this is not a common thing - but do please going in knowing the treatment you want and don't allow yourself to be fobbed off or talked into another option. This stuff is traumatic enough without adding anything else in.

The 'special kind of hell' feeling is so true. I had something similar before I had my termination for medical reasons and it was horrible.
I'm sorry to hear you had the pain and trauma of miscarriage, plus the surgery. My hospital were pushing me to have the surgical abortion with local anaesthetic but I think it will trigger existing trauma from my tfmr, in addition to the trauma of the actual procedure!

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:07

Blue2020 · 01/07/2024 19:52

Sorry if that’s too much detail.

We are now ttc#2 and really hope I don’t have another mc but if I do I would try to request surgery a lot sooner than last time. Those 7 weeks were the longest of my life so far. It just felt never ending.

Not too much detail at all, thank you for sharing your story.

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:10

Blue2020 · 01/07/2024 19:43

Sorry for your loss, well losses.

I had a missed miscarriage in 2022. I went for a private scan at 9 weeks and found out it had stopped at 6+2ish. I went to epu to be scanned and they confirmed. However they wanted to rescan in two weeks time before they would do anything. I then caught covid just before the scan so it got delayed, so around 11ish weeks I started to naturally miscarry while I was at the end of covid. It started off with 2 days of small amounts of dark blood. Then three days of intense cramps that would come and go. I managed without pain killers and just spent a lot of time with a hot water bottle in bed. It was 10x worse than my worst period cramps. I was bleeding a small amount. Then with no warning on day three I suddenly flooded with blood, I didn’t make it to the bathroom in time so I soaked my jeans getting there. Then spent quite a while in the bathroom - just passing lots of blood like gushes. I thought it was all over, two days later in a restaurant to help cheer me up I ended up with cramps again and spent 20minutes in the bathroom passing more. I went to the epu for the follow up scan anyway because they said to go still and they said there was still retained products but it would likely come out with my next period if it didn’t before then. Well three more weeks of bleeding and testing positive and I then had the surgery when I would have been 16 weeks pregnant- so 7 weeks of the miscarriage and waiting.

The surgery was very pleasant (I didn’t remember anything), I had GA and I just woke up slightly disorientated because I was in another room. I felt slightly cold temporarily and they gave me a blanket. That day I was fine but the next day I had some discomfort/pain. Then I stopped bleeding a few days after that and was back to normal. A caveat is 9 days after the surgery I had intense cramps for a day which I think was bowel related. Once I had gone to the toilet I was fine after that.

I conceived again three months later after the surgery. I now have a ds, I had an emergency csection for him and to be honest I think having the mmc surgery and GA helped me be less worried about the csection and LA. I stayed awake for the csection but I was already used to going into theatre and the process.

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear how covid interfered with what was already a traumatic experience. 7 weeks of miscarriage and covid sounds like the absolute worst.

I'm very glad to hear you conceived and had a successful pregnancy after, and that in a way your terrible experience helped you to relax more with the c section.

OP posts:
Wtffriend · 01/07/2024 20:10

In my experience, medical was the worse experience ever, even worse than actual labour.
And without being too graphic, at least with surgical you know it's over, with medical you have to deal with the consequences at home.
All my thoughts are with you and I am so sorry ❤️@

Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:11

Dressinggowntime · 01/07/2024 19:55

I had it done under GA. Was very straightforward. No pain and minimal bleeding afterwards. Hope it goes ok for you

That is super reassuring, thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:11

LegoLegoLegoLegoLego · 01/07/2024 19:58

Absolutely go for surgical management if you can. It means it is "over", and the GA is fine and everyone will be kind. Best wishes xx

Thank you, that is very reassuring. I am looking forward to this nightmare being over.

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 01/07/2024 20:20

Wtffriend · 01/07/2024 20:10

In my experience, medical was the worse experience ever, even worse than actual labour.
And without being too graphic, at least with surgical you know it's over, with medical you have to deal with the consequences at home.
All my thoughts are with you and I am so sorry ❤️@

I'm so sorry to hear that, I can imagine it is horrific. In my TFMR I had to 'give birth' at 14 weeks so that they could give a genetic post mortem to the baby and it was horrible. At least with (most) labours you have a baby at the end of it.

OP posts:
HelloJillll · 01/07/2024 20:23

I’ve had surgical and pills. Much prefer surgical. Knowing it was over and I could move forward was exactly what I needed.

When I took the medication it didn’t work completely and I needed surgery anyway. Dragged the process out by another month.

Really sorry you’re having to even consider this. My MMC also stopped growing at 6wks and I had surgery at 10wks x

Wise0wl · 01/07/2024 20:26

@TruthUnwinding for my MVAs they were uncomfortable, but like a smear test just for a bit longer? But I had no trauma, I didn’t see anything or anything like that. I don’t really feel qualified to say how traumatic it might be for someone else though, as everyone’s threshold and experience is different. I hope whichever path you go down it goes as well as it can for you x

Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 02/07/2024 08:24

Wise0wl · 01/07/2024 20:26

@TruthUnwinding for my MVAs they were uncomfortable, but like a smear test just for a bit longer? But I had no trauma, I didn’t see anything or anything like that. I don’t really feel qualified to say how traumatic it might be for someone else though, as everyone’s threshold and experience is different. I hope whichever path you go down it goes as well as it can for you x

Thank you, that is really helpful <3

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 02/07/2024 08:25

HelloJillll · 01/07/2024 20:23

I’ve had surgical and pills. Much prefer surgical. Knowing it was over and I could move forward was exactly what I needed.

When I took the medication it didn’t work completely and I needed surgery anyway. Dragged the process out by another month.

Really sorry you’re having to even consider this. My MMC also stopped growing at 6wks and I had surgery at 10wks x

Oh gosh, there are lots of people saying that the medical didn't work for them. Glad the surgery was much easier for you!

OP posts:
DaringlyDizzy · 02/07/2024 12:21

Hi!

I opted for MVA but things took a turn whilst waiting for an appt and I had an emergency D and C minutes after arriving at A and E. It was under GA.

Honestly as someone who has had multiple losses and done MVA, medical and GA - GA was the easiest. Recovery, trauma etc. EVERYTHING. And I talk as someone who has resisted GA until I had to have it due to a phobia.

I am so sorry for your loss x

CMG92 · 02/07/2024 13:28

Hi op I’m so sorry to read your going through this awful time.
iv had 2 miscarriages, 1 at 6weeks that all happened naturally but it was awful having contractions and bleeding for 8weeks.
2nd 1 I had a blighted ovum and had a D&C under general at 10weeks. I honestly would recommend it, I felt fine when I came round all my sickness had gone, just took it steady for a week after. I’m currently 38weeks pregnant so wishing you all the best 🙏

Blue2020 · 02/07/2024 21:45

@TruthUnwinding did you say the surgery is tomorrow? If so I hope the day goes smoothly for you.

Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 03/07/2024 08:57

DaringlyDizzy · 02/07/2024 12:21

Hi!

I opted for MVA but things took a turn whilst waiting for an appt and I had an emergency D and C minutes after arriving at A and E. It was under GA.

Honestly as someone who has had multiple losses and done MVA, medical and GA - GA was the easiest. Recovery, trauma etc. EVERYTHING. And I talk as someone who has resisted GA until I had to have it due to a phobia.

I am so sorry for your loss x

Thank you. I'm sorry you've had to go through all three, and thanks for the recommendation. xx

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 03/07/2024 08:58

CMG92 · 02/07/2024 13:28

Hi op I’m so sorry to read your going through this awful time.
iv had 2 miscarriages, 1 at 6weeks that all happened naturally but it was awful having contractions and bleeding for 8weeks.
2nd 1 I had a blighted ovum and had a D&C under general at 10weeks. I honestly would recommend it, I felt fine when I came round all my sickness had gone, just took it steady for a week after. I’m currently 38weeks pregnant so wishing you all the best 🙏

Thank you, glad to hear the GA was good for you. And congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope the birth goes smoothly. <3

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 03/07/2024 08:59

Blue2020 · 02/07/2024 21:45

@TruthUnwinding did you say the surgery is tomorrow? If so I hope the day goes smoothly for you.

Hello. I have a scan today to check that the baby hasn't grown (in case I had my dates wrong, pretty sure I haven't), and then hopefully the surgical procedure under general anaesthetic today... but they are pretty disorganised!

OP posts:
Original poster
TruthUnwinding · 04/07/2024 15:11

Hello. I just wanted to update to say that I have just come back home after the surgery under general anaesthetic, and so far it has been fine and untraumatic. So nice to wake up with it all done, in comparison to last time where I was fully awake. Thank you for your recommendations, now just going to try and relax for 2 days. Get my hubby to do the cooking and cleaning!

OP posts:
ladycarlotta · 05/07/2024 10:31

so glad to hear it went well @TruthUnwinding - take the time you need and fit in a few happy-making and life-affirming things, whatever that means to you.

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