Hi, am writing because I am currently dealing with one of the toughest situations of my life. I met a guy who I thought was a great man. We dated for a couple of months before engaging in sex. Second time we did have sex I ended up getting pregnant. At this time we have only been dating for 4 months. One day I missed my period and I knew this was not likely of my body so I took a test, it came back positive. I was excited but conflicted at the same time. I reached out to him within the same day and he let me know his thoughts... He did not think we were ready to have a child. In my mind I thought the same thing, but I knew I wasn't going to get an abortion. I knew this right away, because I had one in the past and told myself I would never do it again. So about a day or so later I let him know that I was keeping the baby. He took a day to get back with me. He just said he needed some time to get his thoughts together. Not once did he ever say that I should get an abortion but he did say that he didn't think we were ready. For the first few months things seemed to be going fine, except for the fact I was a very emotional person and all over the place with my emotions. I wanted more from him than what he was giving and that caused us to have arguments often. That eventually led to me pushing him away. This was around me being 4 months pregnant. At this time I contemplated getting an abortion because I knew it's what he wanted deep down inside, and every time I mentioned it, I was able to get him to talk to me. So I scheduled me an appointment and was going to go through with it because I felt like I wanted him to stay in my life and this seemed like the only way I would be able to make that happen. The day of my appointment I woke up and decided I wasn't going to terminate my baby, especially because I was already so far along. I loved her and knew I wanted to keep her so I chose her instead. I let him know and it seemed like everything changed again. At that point he distanced himself and we went from spending time together almost every week to not seeing each other for a month and a half. During that time communication also was limited between us. It hurt so badly because in reality I wanted to be with him, but at this point I put so much focus into the mom I was about to become even though it still hurt me so badly. I just tried to stay strong. So during this time he finally reached out to me again. Almost every day. We finally met up and seen each other and I was still hearing from. For me it' was not as much as I would like but at the end of the day we are still not in a relationship, and he tells me that we will be. During this time that we finally met up I did sleep with him. But at this point I'm so done with being given the bare minimum especially not knowing what he is really doing in his spare time. I try so hard to redirect my thoughts away from him and onto my baby girl and sometimes it works but I still have my days. At this point two days ago I messaged him a detailed message about what I wanted and was looking for. I told him how I wasn't happy and that I wanted to be together and how we both want two different things in life right now and it hurts me more being lead on and just receiving a good morning text from him or only hearing from him once a day through a text message and nothing else for the rest of the day. I expressed how we haven't talked about anything regarding the baby, like if he will be at the baby shower or at the hospital when I give birth, or if he will even help me with watching her after she gets here so I can work.... I completely understand that we are not in a relationship but I wanted one. And just feels like he is striningg me along so I told him to go enjoy the life that he wants and that I will never keep his child away from him if he wanted to be in her life. I just feel like I can't have him in my life the way that he wants to be and he should just stop pretending to care about me, because he isn't willing to be with me completely but get the benefits of being with me. And he never responded. Not one time, and I haven't heard from him ever since. I felt like I just wanted to cut off communication until my baby gets here because my feelings are involved but now I'm scared that I encouraged him to not reappear in her life. I want him to be in her life I truly do, and he has told me that he will when we got back in contact but now I feel that I ruined everything by sending him that message. I never wanted to be in this situation alone. I want my child to know her father but I know I can't force anyone to do anything that they don't want to do. I wanted him to be at the baby shower, I wanted him to be at the hospital I never wanted to experience pregnancy alone even though I know there are so many strong mommas out there that has done it. Now that I felt I was being strong and standing up for myself I'm currently so sad. I don't want to seem selfish because again we are not together but why can't I have the love that I feel like I deserve... Now I'm just hurting because I feel like we will never talk again and I'm struggling to move on. I just need some advice on how I can stop feeling this way. I feel so sad and don't know what to do. I feel like I ruined everything for speaking on how I feel instead of just accepting the way things were.... I feel so sad that I ruined everything for my daughter 😔