First Appointment After ER Visit. How do I prepare to say goodbye?

[Dragonlove96]

So I had Bleeding a few days ago and subsequent minor brown spotting. Went to the ER and got diagnosed with a threatened miscarriage. So today this afternoon will be my first prenatal appointment to see if baby is still with us or not. I know in my heart of hearts my baby is gone and I don't want to see that on the ultrasound this afternoon. How do you say goodbye to a baby you haven't met yet but love so very much and will feel devastated without?

The best thing I can say is since my baby has only lived in my womb, they have never known anything other than absolute unconditional love❤️

@Dragonlove96 so sorry you are going through this. You may well have had your scan by now and I'll keeping everything crossed that you had unexpected good news. However, if not, I am very very sorry for your loss.

What you said about baby only knowing unconditional love safe and snug in your womb is very similar to what I thought after my MMC last year. They had brought so much hope and joy and I wanted to celebrate that and ensure that I honoured the little time that I had with them. My hospital gave me an 'Aching Arms' teddy bear (a UK loss charity) and a little memory box that had a votive candle and a couple of bits and bobs in it. I also added my positive pregnancy test and my sister made me a little crochet heart that was around the size my baby would have reached at the gestation I lost them. Just having these little tangible mementos was comforting and made it feel more real. The hard thing about pregnancy loss is that it's so isolated. There is no funeral etc or sharing grief with other mourners. You were that little beans whole universe, and you carry all of that grief (with a few close loved ones and your partner).

I wrote some poems after my loss which I found cathartic and helped me express my grief and put thoughts into words. Find an outlet that works for you.

I also stumbled across a song a few months after the loss that had me in floods but in a good/sad way. It was Taylor Swift 'Bigger than the whole sky' and my goodness, if that song isn't about pregnancy loss, I don't know what is. It made me wonder if she's been through it herself as it is so on point. It's painful but beautiful (and I'm not usually a mad Swifty!).

Sending you lots of love. Allow yourself to feel your grief in whatever way you need. There is no right or wrong.

All that said, I do hope and pray that maybe your scan had an unexpected positive outcome. Sending you a big hug. 💗

Big Update!!
My scan today went unexpectedly fantastic!!!
I thought for sure I had miscarried or was about to. But nope! Not only is my beautiful child still here, but they've got a strong heartbeat!!!! God does wonderful things and works in mysterious ways💙🎀

That's the most wonderful news, OP! So happy for you and your little bean.

@Dragonlove96 oh this is wonderful to hear 🥰 So happy for you 💗

Very happy for you OP, and hope your path is smooth with regards to your pregnancy.
I would like to acknowledge the beautiful and poignant words from Snookypook, and sending love and hope to you.

So happy for you - wonderful news!

Congratulations 🥰🥳🍾

Aw thank you @Icepinkeskimo - glad they weren't needed for OP in this instance. Thankfully love and hope manifested after two further losses last year and I'm currently 33+3 with our little rainbow. Just hoping this final stretch all goes ok - they want him here by 37wks due to being 3rd centile so we've had lots of monitoring but fingers crossed all ok 🙏🏼💗 Won't be long now! X