20 month age difference between first and second child

[shicshok]

Any advice for me? Pregnant with second child and will have a 20 month age gap

I had exactly this gap (to the day!) and won't lie, it was hard work for the first few years. The older one is still a baby themselves and needs attention and time, you have two tiny kids in nappies, and trying to coordinate feeds and naps, and sometimes manage to also get out of the house is exhausting.

I highly recommend both a double pram and also baby-wearing with a carrier that can take either child. I used the carriers that are just long material you wrap around yourself, and could take either child up to about age 3.

Those early years are a blur but a few things stick out - how much love I had for both littlies and how absolutely delighted they were with each other from day 1; how big my eldest's head seemed when I looked up from breastfeeding his baby sibling; how special it was to spend one-on-one time with big brother after baby arrived.

The hard years are so worth it when you see the bond they share, and since they're so close in age they really entertained each other from when youngest was about 3 so I managed to start catching my breath around then. Mine are now 15 and 16 and are either best friends or worst enemies (sometimes both within the space of a half an hour!)

Good luck and congratulations, you'll do great with two under 2!

It's a lovely age gap. Your next few years will be very child centred. But then it's all gone in a blink of an eye If you have any spare money for a cleaner that might be a good investment

That’s pretty much the age gap we’ve got. It’s tough going, some stages tougher than others! Be prepared that you’ll be super busy, make the other parts of life as easy as you can. We have a cleaner every 2 weeks, a tumble drier, don’t iron anything that doesn’t absolutely need it, have ‘easy’ meals in the freezer for the kids etc.

Practically, a baby carrier was essential - DD would be happy there if DS needed some time. Also a Moses basket and bouncer, things I could take round the house and ‘park’ her in 😂 we debated a double pram, but we had an uppababy so just got the adapters to fit the bassinet/car seat and toddler seat on together. Glad we did, as 99% of the time DD would be in the carrier and DS refused to go in it soon after he turned 2 - I would go second hand if you really feel you need one but it might be worth waiting until baby arrives unless it really feels essential to you.

DS was in awe of his sister from day 1, he was obsessed 😂 but we made sure he still had individual time with each of us, and we kept him in a couple of nursery sessions a week so DD had time too.

They have their scraps (now 3.5 and approaching 2) but they adore each other. DD talks about her brother in her sleep, they run into nursery holding hands, cuddle up on the sofa together. We can do toddler activities and days out and they’re both entertained. It’s no less hard work, but after the initial blur of the first year or so, it’s the most heart warming thing now to see them together and know that they’ll always have each other xx

I have that gap between first two then 25 months between 2 and 3.

We don't drive so had a lot of travel stuff - front and back pushchair - second hand side to side one - buggy board - a clip on side carriage - so side seat for normal pushchairs and later light buggy - plus a carrier DH liked and sling I liked - also backpack with reins - helps to train to stay close by as later running in multiple directions after kids isn't great - used all of them a lot depending on where we were going.

Unfortunately ours are all two school years apart - so get A-level and GCSE twice at same time and they were hard work when young but fun.

Be careful to remember and remind rest of family that eldest is still really young - as they look so much older than new baby - there can be a tendency to expect to much from them. Otherwise it's worked well they have been close - tend to be able to do same family activities.