23 week pregnant - don't want to tell family

[IDontWantAValuableLimeLessonIJustWantIcecream]

I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with DC3, my mum was never that supportive during my previous pregnancies, calling me cheap for wanting to breastfeed, horrible comments on any name ideas, tried convincing me to abort, blamed me for a previous miscarriage. Also criticises my parenting, wanted to call social services because I didn't start solids before 6 months/wouldn't give 5 months old cup of tea, and many more things.

I've struggled with my mental health with all previous pregnancies, usually worsened once family find out and they start trying to tell me what to do, whether I should keep it and so on. I do try and shut down the comments/ignore but it can be hard.

The issue is I'm doing quite well mentally so far and I feel that telling my family would bring on all kinds of stress as has before, so I don't really want anyone to know but I know that would cause a lot of hurt when they do eventually find out so I'm not really sure what to do

Sounds like you should cut them off completely, never mind telling them you're pregnant!

Why are you still in contact with her🤷‍♀️ She sounds horrible

First post has it. They sound like awful people. You don't need to subject yourself and your children to them. I assume their behaviour isn't isolated to just your pregnancies?

Having children is often a trigger point for people in abusive families as they realise how dysfunctional their experience was as they can't imagine treating their own kids that way. You don't have to have a relationship with them.

Don't tell them. It's none of their business anyway. It's private.

There is no obligation to tell them anything or have any contact with them, particularly after 18. Don’t feel you should do anything, do what you want to.

Amen to this

Surely your mental health would do better all round if you didn't have toxic family in your life. Life's too short for negative people

I agree!

Wow, this is completely outrageous and toxic behaviour. You don't owe them anything, your mother should be ashamed of herself. I wouldn't be letting my children anywhere near someone like that let alone giving them the time of day. Keep the pregnancy to yourself and enjoy your own sanity.

The fact that your mental health is good while not talking to them should tell you all you need to know, for yours and your children's sake I'd keep it that way. You will happier and it will have a knock on effect to your kids, they will be happier to have a happy mum. Your 'family', especially your mother, sounds like a horrible person who doesn't give a toss about anyone else. Do you have a good support network otherwise? Like partner, friends etc?