Overdue- kind, unwanted advice and support

[Rosebluemoonradish]

General rant of frustration here about waiting for labour..

I've build a lovely supportive network in my community and everyone is genuinely excited in having my first baby. I know people are 'checking in' out of kindness and I've literally done the same thing to others and I am grateful. But I really wish I'd lied to everyone about my due date!! Now I'm at 41 weeks + 4 days I'm getting quite tetchy.

It's the whatsapp's- up to 10 a day "hey how are you feeling?xxx" and in the street from my lovely neighbours and people in community "baby still hasn't come!!?" telling me with great assurance that hot curries work, pineapple juice, long walks, raspberry tea. Older women I don't really know almost aggressively telling me to have sex, but not nagging my partner who is the only one who can make that happen! Evidence is out on all of it, except maybe sex, but he is so uninterested in that and I just find it too personal to be discussing with anyone but him!

I think I'm going to sign out of WhatsApp. Have considered turning off my phone, but use it so much. Feel like locking myself inside.

I know from hypnobirthing baby will release a hormone when it's ready and this will start dilation and then contractions. It's not a great mystery or something that can be brought on with jasmine essential oil- I've tried!

I know soon the advice is going to ramp up and people will be pushing me to get induced. Sister in law has kindly recommended a sweep. But I think I just need to finish making the space ready for birth, try to get romantic with my partner and mentally and physically relax.

I just wish everyone would leave me alone!

Has anyone else found a polite way to respond to unwanted advice and remind them they are talking rubbish and I'm doing everything I should be, I'm not a failure, it's just the baby is not ready yet!? Also that I promise I will tell them when it's born- they don't need to ask if it has been born yet- daily!?

Ah that annoyed me no end-my best friend would text 8.00 am every morning and say Well?????.That was it.Nothing else.Drove me bloody mad.In the end I typed in pregnancy memes on Facebook and rather passively aggressive shared some.No one asked me again after that 😂

Ah why has your partner done that to you?Two hours of getting shouted at is terrible.I hope he has apologised-its the least he can do

Aww OP I went to 40+12 but my wellbeing scan showed up something so I accepted the induction. Those days were hard hard work mentally I’ll never forget them. Sending you so much love over the next few hours and days

There’s a facebook group called 10 month mamas that you might find useful OP x

Yes it IS supremely annoying.

When I had my first baby - I stupidly told everyone the correct due date, and for the last MONTH I got 'baby here yet?' 'No baby yet?' 'When's the baby coming? 'Isn't it here yet?!'

And one really super-annoying female work colleague of DH's (20 years older than us,) said EVERY TIME WE SAW HER 'When you gonna have that baby?! Come on HURRY UP!' She must have said it 30 times in the last 2-3 months of my pregnancy. 50-something me would have told her to stop bloody asking and bore off ... But early 30-something me was much more reserved and polite and shy. I just half smiled and half rolled my eyes.

Second baby, me and DH said was due late April when it was actually due mid March, so we wouldn't get fucking nagged and badgered. Even to this day, everyone thinks our second child was 6 weeks early. 😆

YES @Rosebluemoonradish delete yourself off all platforms, and if anyone says anything, say you are 'resting' and 'chilling.'

ColourMeBlue · Today 00:46

Ah that annoyed me no end-my best friend would text 8.00 am every morning and say Well????? That was it. Nothing else. Drove me bloody mad.

How irksome! As someone said earlier in the thread, it's like some people are just desperate to be the first to know.

One woman (who also worked at DH's workplace at the time, and was someone he knew from school,) was super pissed off and angry - and refused to speak to DH for a week, because she wasn't the first to be told that we were expecting a baby (when I was pregnant with our first child.)

Seriously, I couldn't believe it! We told our families and 5 or 6 of our closest friends first. She was a fucking WORK COLLEAGUE. She said to people 'I knew him for 15 years before SHE even met him.' Yeah....? AND.....?