Worried about miscarriage

[SunshineOceanAndOranges]

About two weeks ago I found out by chance that I'm pregnant. I was meant to have an MRI with dye (I had a joint injury) and they offered me a test to be on the safe side. It's my fourth and it was a complete shock as I'm already 44. By the way, no ageist comments please as I am fully aware of the risks. Getting past the initial shock, I've been feeling this rush of love for it, as I had for the other three. Now, again, I know the stats and have been taking it a day at a time. I have a horrible conflict at work which has come to a head last week so my stress levels have been through the roof- and today I am sat at the ED with bleeding. They are taking bloods and may offer me a scan but I'm pretty sure I know the outcome. I am feeling bereft regardless of all the rational arguments I everyone will come up with. Wish I could curl up in a ball and cry.

4 hours at the ED now... but finally referred to gynae. I'm still bleeding... just a bit miserable no one's replied to this thread.

I'm so sorry. I've had a lot of losses and they're always very sad.

Is your husband with you, or is he at home with the older children?

It may still be all right, although at your age it's not so likely. Are you in pain?

Have you been seen yet?

I'm so sorry, miscarriage (or worries that it could be) are devastating and lonely. The pain is acute, it doesn't matter at all that it was a happy accident. You have every right to feel as you are.
My thoughts are with you.

How are you getting on, @SunshineOceanAndOranges ?

I'm so sorry @SunshineOceanAndOranges - sometimes threads get missed, particularly in the weekend traffic. Wish I had seen yours earlier. Sending you a handhold. Let us know how you are.

@SunshineOceanAndOranges just adding my hugs to the thread. Sorry I don't check on as much at the weekend. So sorry you felt so alone earlier. I had 3 losses last year and it's such a hard thing to go through. I'm keeping everything crossed that you had a better outcome than feared. If not, please know that you are not alone. And all of your feelings are very valid. It doesn't matter if the pregnancy was planned or not, you are entitled to grieve a loss either way. 💕

Are you back at home yet @SunshineOceanAndOranges?

Apologies for the silence everyone. Thank you so much to those who checked in, especially you @TheShellBeach
I did get seen after about 5 hours at the ED... they didn't have anyone available to give me a scan but they told me my hormone levels were good. They also checked my cervix which was not bleeding. However it's a waiting game until I do get a scan on Tuesday. Sadly though, I have been bleeding a lot since last night - at least more than yesterday- so I'm not very hopeful.... I know there is nothing anyone can do but I am just feeling utterly drained physically and emotionally.

That sounds very emotionally draining. It's a shame they couldn't scan you.

With my first pregnancy I bled on and off for a fortnight, wondering if it would be okay. It was a few years ago, and scanning wasn't done so much.

It was when I had a lot of pain and the bleeding got worse, I realised that the outcome was bleak. I went to A and E and was scanned, and told that the baby had died. I had an ERPC the next day.

I've never forgotten that desperate feeling of loss.

At your age, and as the bleeding is getting worse, you probably haven't got much hope. But there's still a chance. Some women bleed and everything turns out okay. I hope that's the outcome for you.

I'll be thinking of you.

I'm sorry OP it's a horrible thing to have to go through but I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that all will be ok x

Thank you so much everyone!
I know it's quite common, but no matter how prepared you think you are, it's still hard. I'll post an update once I know for sure.

Sorry to hear, it’s rubbish. There’s still a chance it could be ok. I sat in ED for 10 hours whilst having a miscarriage at 12 weeks, horrific.

@SunshineOceanAndOranges sending big hugs and also hoping that there is still a positive outcome for you. 💕

So sorry to read this, sending hugs and good luck ❤️

I had a very difficult evening yesterday as horrible cramps set in. I have lost hope and I can already feel my mood, which was not in the best of state considering the amount of stress I've been under, completely crash. I am hanging on for my other 3, especially the youngest two who are still in school,, but it's hard. DH is pretty devastated too, but we have to keep doing everything as normal... Hopefully tomorrow's scan will provide some clarity and closure. My heart really goes out to anyone who has gone through this - even more so at a later stage as the pain is so awful, I can only imagine it being worse and even more traumatising.

@SunshineOceanAndOranges sorry to hear that. Sending a hand hold for the scan tomorrow. Even when you are braced for the worst it doesn't make it any easier does it. Lean on your loved ones for support and just take your time with it all. It is such a hard thing to go through but as with most grief, it does soften a bit with time. That's not to diminish what you're going through right now, but hopefully to provide you with a snippet of hope to hold on to that whilst everything feels darkest, there can still be brighter days ahead. Sending you lots of love 💕

I just wanted to add that I’m very sorry you’re going through this. It really is awful but people are thinking of you xx