Worried between appointments

[FTMCT]

Hi as the title says I have noticed I’ve gotten increasingly more anxious between scans.
I’m 21+3 and had my anomaly scan at 19+3 which all went perfectly.
My next appointment isn’t for another 4 weeks and I have found myself worrying about something going wrong.
I am not sure if I have been feeling baby or if it’s stomach/muscle twitches so I think that hasn’t been helping (I have an anterior placenta).
I’m also suffering with a bad cold so I’m feeling more tired which is impacting my anxiety.
How can I continue to reassure myself that everything is okay? I don’t want to book a private scan as I’ve had people telling me that too many scans are bad which isn’t helpful either :(
My friend said she’d lend her fetal Doppler but I’m avoiding this as I have an anterior placenta and will worry if I struggle to hear baby’s heartbeat.
I normally relied on physical symptoms to reassure myself (TMI the most common being nipple sensitivity) but they haven’t been as sensitive today which just feeds the anxiety.
I don’t really know what else to do but the anxiety is really ruining this time for me.

I wouldn't advise using a Doppler I think it would make your anxiety worse as your more likely to pick up the placenta or your heartbeat than babies . I had extra scans in pregnancy due to complications and baby is perfect I don't think one extra would be any harm especially if it helps the anxiety . I was very anxious my whole pregnancy was period about everything but baby was perfect. Just trust your gut x

Honestly these feelings are really normal. Do not use a doppler unless you really know what you are doing as easy to mistake yours or the placentas pulse for the heartbeat. if you don't find it, which is common as they're really tiny at this point, it can also cause more anxiety.

Scans are absolutely fine if you think that will make you feel better. nothing dangerous about having a scan but whether it will raise your anxiety or drop it is dependent on your personality.

anterior placentas can be a pain. i didn't feel anything to 23 weeks with my daughter and even then i'd go days with nothing and never got much feeling of her at all. it was really fustrating.

Best thing is to try and take your mind off of it. go out and do things, pick up a hobby etc

Good luck

I know exactly where you're coming from! I am 24 weeks today and found out approx 3.5weeks, since finding out we have had 2 early scans 6 weeks (to confirm) and 8 weeks (because I felt I had lost all my symptoms) both private, 12 week NHS scan, 16 week private gender scan and 20 week NHS scan. If a scan is what puts your mind at ease I don't think there is any harm! If you have your next midwife app booked I imagine they should listen in to the heartbeat then which is also reassuring.

I honestly don't believe there is anything anyone can say to you to make you feel better, but finding someone you can message or call whenever you feel anxious certainly worked for me. I was very open about my anxiety and told anyone who would listen (but that does come with a lot of advice when sometimes you just need someone to listen to your worries!)

I also have an anterior placenta and felt baby boy move around 20 weeks, had a wobble at 23 weeks because I felt he had been super active and then nothing! But he is back to his normal self this week, midwife said they do have quiet periods when they are growing but not to hesitate contacting maternity assessment for advice.

This is just the entry level to the rest of our lives, I'm sure we will never stop worrying about our babies! x

They don't recommend a doppler because it can lead to both false security or false concern when used by a non-qualified person - either because you are hearing the placenta or your own heartbeat or just uterus noises, or because you can't find the baby's heartbeat when actually it's fine and has just nestled itself somewhere awkward or is moving around.

I don't necessarily think lots of regular private scans are helpful, but if you have a long gap between appointments it might help to reassure you to book one in the middle of the gap, just to say hello to baby in a less medicalised setting where they aren't focused on taking measurements, checking for abnormalities etc., but rather with explaining what's on the screen and having some bonding time where you're able to see your little one. I wouldn't rule it out if it might help, but would talk through with someone - maybe a partner or close relative or friend - the pros and cons.

I wouldn't worry about things like nipple sensitivity dying down a little - you're in that second trimester sweet spot where supposed to feel a bit less like dog meat afterall!