Pregnancy loneliness

[Np15]

I'm now 27 weeks pregnant with my first and I just thought I would have a lot more mental support from friends and family. I've not had any texts asking how I am or doing and I have always been there for others being pregnant making a conscious effort to ask about mum and how mums doing rather then just all about baby. I haven't seen or spoke to one friend properly in over a year, had to tell her I was pregnant over text as could not get her available in person. I've since not heard anything. Her sons birthday was just recently, I was abroad, pregnant and had my husbands birthday the same week I still manged to send a gift and card in the post and alls I've had since is he's got that and I need to return it.

I just feel like I'm the one in most of my friendships that is the planner and always reaching out and now I've took a step back to focus on me, no one has checked in.

That sounds really hard OP, you poor thing! ☹️ unfortunately other peoples pregnancies often seem to cause people’s internal issues to bubble up (not liking change, resentment, jealousy, unable to be happy for others).

Do you have support from your DH, or could you reach out to plan a lunch with a family member to tell them you’re feeling a bit lonely? Maybe you could do some socialising at pregnancy classes etc. if there is any of that in your area.

Congrats on your pregnancy and hope things will improve for you! 🩷

That sounds hard. Have you tried the Peanut app? I've found it helpful to talk to other pregnant local people who have a day to day experience of what I'm going through. And the Mumsnet pregnancy month groups? Facebook?

@Np15 firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy. How are you doing?

I’m sorry that your friends haven’t been supportive. Do they have children? I know you said one does. Perhaps you can try and go to a few pregnancy/baby classes and meet some people who are in a similar position to you? X

So sorry you feel like this OP.
Your pregnancy is the centre of your world. But it stops there. It isn't the centre of anyone else's. You are just you, someone they know. The fact you are pregnant is just another fact about you. Other peoples' pregnancies/weddings etc are boring.m
But this is so hard to accept and it's normal you feel like this at a time when everything is changing for you. Just do you. Do your preparations, don't be a baby bore (you don't come across as one), remember to talk about other stuff too and it will be ok.

Thank you, I'm now sat here crying because it's all I've wanted and I've had to seek it from the Internet. 🤣As much as I love my mum and dad and husband and they're so supportive and excited, it's just not the same as your friends who you've known for years. I've had a couple of scares which has left me very anxious and kind of in protective mode that like something bad is going to happen. I've spoken to my midwife who says this is all normal ect. But I just thought a WhatsApp once a month to say how are things going wouldn't be an issue regardless of you have kids or not?

I understand its happening to me and they may have no clue, but I'm often left with my own thoughts and planning things to do in my spare time on my own. I've tried peanut and looked into classes but tbh I don't really wanna talk all the time about babies and children, it's a huge thing that's new to me and I kinda don't wanna loose myself In this process and I hoped my friends would know me well enough to know that?

I also could just be very hormonal and overthinking everything 🤣

I completely understand how you feel OP. I feel the same way. I have HG, still suffering very badly at 26 weeks and the support I've had from some friends is very, very minimal. I feel like despite how poorly I've been, I'm always the one making conversations, asking how they are, life updates etc. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen some of my 'closest' friends since being pregnant - because I've been too poorly to go out and socialise - some friends have made a conscious effort to come to my house to see me / have a play date at home which has been nice.

Anyway sorry to talk about me! Just wanted to say I completely get it. It's lonely and isolating but we can't change other people. And what's most important is your own little family you've created :)

I totally get it and feel the same. I have never felt so lonely and bored my entire life.

We live abroad, about 6,000 miles away. We went home when I was 20 weeks pregnant and it was the best 2 weeks of my pregnancy. I am lucky my family is wonderful and excited. I cried the whole 12 hour plane ride back. None of my friends care, they have their own lives and I totally understand it but that doesn't change how lonely it feels. I have PGP and at 30 weeks can barely walk now. I just sit in the house alone, working away (I can wfh which is both a blessing and a curse) all day long. DH comes home around 6, obviously tired from a long day and needs to study to finish some professional exams before baby comes.