Two dogs and a new born

[lolli96]

Hi everyone,

We have two labradors, one is 3 years old who has a lovely and calm natured with a mother instinct to our friends children, the other one is 1 year old at the end of the month who is still understanding boundaries (jumps up at you, attempts to scratch you for attention, runs loose around the house at times and so on).

I'm 5 months pregnant and due in November. Normally I'm the one who trains the dogs however I'm now unable to continue and need to focus on my pregnancy.
My partner didn't help with training at all and doesn't have the patience, however I've given him the sad ultimatum of if he does not 'pull his finger out' and train our youngest pup with respecting boundaries and us then we will have no choice but to explore alternative options where she is no longer with us.

The idea of having a newborn and two dogs (one that will put me at risk during pregnancy - jumping on me and pushing me over without boundaries) puts me on complete edge.

Does anyone have any advice or happy to share how they got on integrating your baby into the family with two medium/large dogs?

If anyone would be happy to share that would be great 😊

You need a professional dog trainer who can work with your dogs 1 on 1. Have you explored any options?

If you are within an hour of Winchester, I'll give you an hour for free.

I am a dog trainer.

What did he say when you delivered the ultimatum?

He was quite accepting of the fact she needs to be trained more with boundaries and was happy to implement those, however over time because she's shown slight improvement his motivation to continue being structured has reduced over time.

I have been looking at training classes, we're in Lincolnshire so unfortunately won't be near you but thank you!

Your partner sounds shit, I hope he gets his act together for your babies arrival.
Is the dog walked enough and have enough enrichment at the moment? I don’t think you do need to “concentrate on the pregnancy”, not even sure what that means to be honest the baby will develop independently of anything you do and arrive in about 4 months. In the mean time you and your partner need to get your fingers out and crack down on the behaviour you won’t accept when the baby is here.
Otherwise you need pet gates and areas the dogs can’t get to the baby. And once the baby is mobile, a safe space for the dogs.
A puppy and a pregnancy/new baby was always going to be a bad idea.

Why can’t you train the dog, if you’re the one who normally does it and therefore knows what you’re doing?

TBH, OP I would give both dogs up. When the baby comes you won’t have time for them anyway - not trying to be harsh but it’s true. Unless there is a big back story I don’t see how at five months pregnant you can’t train your dog…and if there’s not, then you’re inability to train now is just going to end in tears in a few months

One dog and a baby is hard. But two dogs? And Labradors. And young ones. Something is going to give and chances are it’ll end up with destructive, under exercised and under stimulated dogs. Worst case scenario they attack someone and best case is they destroy your house

The only person I know who has successfully managed with a working dog and a baby is only able to do it because she has a supportive husband who looks after the baby whilst she runs the dog.

Happy to do a session on Zoom if that would be of use?

You have months still in which to train this dog. Just invest the time now.

I managed as a single parent, I'm sure most families do. Imagine if everyone gave up a dog every time a baby came along 🤔

My previously unruly collie soon picked up on my "don't fuck me about" grumpy pregnancy energy and started to behave much better. 10 years later, she still never jumps up on me.
You can do this, it will be OK.

I don’t think you should give up. Why does your pregnancy prevent you from simple training commands and dedicating sometime to a family pet unless you’ve exhausted all options I wouldn’t give her away

I had two labs and a baby. Just turn your back when the dog jumps up, getting no attention back gives them no reward. Dogs are often really sensible around a small baby even if they aren’t around you. They’re very sensitive.

My dogs have provided so much enrichment to my children’s lives. No way were they going anywhere. It’s very doable.

I managed two babies under 2, a bouncy Labrador, a horse, and worked, while a single parent. If you want to make it work you will.

I completely agree with this comment.

Completely bizarre that suggestions would be made to just give the dog up. I am currently pregnant, have two other children, a dog and I work full time. No I'm not a single parent but seriously, people that turf their pets out when children come along really make me think wow.

Our lab is 14 months now the teenage phase is unpredictable. You need to be firm as does your partner every single time. We've had to train because of grandchildren, which are adored by both dogs but a Labrador is a powerful heavy dog as you know. So persevere.

Give me strength! Another 'baby comes along, dog has to go' thread.
I know OP wants it to work, and is looking for advice on integrating the dogs but if a person can't get bothered to look after pets properly, you can see that they will be shit at parenting, too.
In OPs case, the writing is on the wall with her partner. He can't be bothered.

I don't understand why you would have to stop training your dogs now? My agility instructor taught and competed right up to the end of her pregnancy she just has to adapt her style so the dogs worked from longer distances when she couldn't run.
If you don't want to put the time and effort in to ensuring your puppy is trained then it's better to re-home now than end up with a dog that has behavioural issues due to lack of stimulation/exercise.. labradors are high energy but also usually very trainable and make great family pets.
I'm 39 weeks pregnant and have 2 terriers smaller yes but not easy low maintenance dogs by any means! I used to run regularly with them but now they only get a brisk walk and they have adapted fine..and when baby comes we will put measures in place to ensure they still get the stimulation and attention that they need..they are part of the family.

Please also remember your young dog is just a baby herself. Or actually, she’s a teenager which is even harder! Larger dogs take longer to mature but it will get easier. My collie was 2 when he started to act more like an adult dog and only now he’s 3 can I say he’s fully grown up. Please use your remaining time of pregnancy to train them and build that bond. The more you disengage, the worse things will get. Completely understand your frustration with your partner…. He needs to be involved with this too! You guys need to work together to deliver consistent messaging and lessons to your dogs.

I really really hope you can work this out without giving up your dogs :(

Exactly!!!!!!!
I was 40, DH works away a lot, had my Lab and was still walking him and lifting him in the car at 8 months pregnant. Once baby was born, into a carrier she went /pram and off we all went. Fabulous exercise.
Pregnancy isn’t an illness unless there are medical issues. I used a dog walker and the next door neighbour’s older child was happy to walk the dog too.
DD loves the dog and he was very gentle with her once she was born.

You may need to ensure either he or a backup person is ok to walk the dogs after you give birth, in case you need a c section or have birth injuries.

You say your partner didn't help with the training at all but what training have you actually done with the 1 year old given you say they still jumps up at you, attempts to scratch you for attention, runs loose around the house at times and so on

At 1 I'd expect occasional moments of naughtiness but most of the foundations to be there.

You chose to get this dog, fairly recently knowing your partner isn't that helpful with the first. You've now chosen to get pregnant knowing your partner isn't that helpful and have dogs that aren't that well trained. Regardless of your partner, you as an adult have decided to commit to these three beings. You need to put the time in to the lifelong commitment you have made to each of them.

I was going to say similar. My labs knew not to jump at people by around 9 months, that’s such a big no no for a large dog. Mine have their moments and do chase each other around but that’s what happens when you have with large bouncy breeds, they’re chucked in the garden to play there. Training needs to be consistent and doesn’t really stop. It’s hardly the dogs fault you and your partner haven’t been consistent in training. Poor dog.

It really depends on you - I personally would go crazy if I had an uncontrollable dog while I'm dealing with a baby.

You need to prepare your home if you haven't done it yet- make sure you can have a space for the dogs where you can put them when you - for example- doing tummy time or leaving the baby in the bouncy chair while you're cooking etc. If you allow the dogs all the time around you and the baby, you will go mad- especially if one of them not trained well.

Your husband either needs to take over the training or pay for a professional trainer/dog walker, etc.