About 6wks preg with no3 and feel so sad and down, I need a boot up the a**e

[Flumpybumpy]

If you have seen some of my earlier you will know I was planning a termination. I have the referral forms already and just needed to make the appointment. DH had a really long talk and agreed that we would go ahead with the pregnancy. At first I was happy and excited but then the sickness kicked ten times worse than with the first two. I can't keep anything down and feel like crap most of the day.

I have been thinking for the past few days that when we go for the scan I will be relieved if there is nothing there. I have been questioning this pregnancy over and over and I jyst don't feel ecited or happy. I look forward and I don't feel the same as I did with DD & DS.

This pregnancy was a complete accident and definitly not planned.

Is it just the hormones and will, as DH redkons, I feel more positive, once the sickness has passed I have had the first scan.

Sorry for this I am feeling so depressed and sad I really don't know what think or do.

I think I just need a kick up the arse and stop feeling sorry for myself!

Aww flumpy.
I totally understand how you feel. I was in this position last year and my second child was only 5 months old.

I have to be honest and say i didn't really get excited after the sickness or any of the scans.
All I was excited about was not being pregnant anymore.
I did get little pangs of excitement when I saw a newborn baby or looked at new baby stuff occasionaly but not much.

Anyway I had ds2 in December and I am so glad we have him.
Hes just a little dream and is loved to bits.

Your certianly not on your own feeling like you do and I think its completely normal.

Thanks nbg, we have told a few people about the baby, and whenever they mention it (all excited) I feel so horrible not being as excited as them.

I know the feeling well.

Fwiw my pregnancy flew by. I think alo of it was because I have 2 others and the rest was because I wasnt checking every week that went by.

Lots of luck with it

I know how you feel. I'm about 10 weeks with no 3 and although previously I really wanted a third, as soon as I found out I was pregnant I totally regretted it.

I'm still struggling with it, not helped by feeling nauseous and exhausted all the time (like you, much worse than previous pregnancies). Only our two best friends know about it - I just can't bring myself to tell anyone else yet. I'm terrified of 'going public'. I just feel like such an idiot as I didn't see myself reacting like this at all. I so wanted to be pregnant again and now I hate the thought of it - utterly bizarre.

Like you I'm hoping that once the sickness is gone, we have a scan, and have finally gone public, everything will be fine. Then of course once baby is here I know things will all be fine and we won't be able to imagine life without him/her. Thirty weeks is a long wait though.

Sorry, that's probably no help whatsoever, but hopefully provides a little bit of solidarity.

Flumpybumpy - I think you are justified in feeling the way you do, this stage of pregnancy is bloody hard nevermind with two other DCs to look after. And you are still trying to come to terms with being pregnant in the first place.

I am 26 weeks with number 3 and although very much planned and wanted after a mc I still got days (especially at the start) when I would think what have we done? Then you just feel really guilty for not feeling the same about this one as the other two so feel even more depressed.

It has gotten a bit better since the sickness went and I feel her kicking but I have SPD and all I want to be is unpregnant again, I am counting down the days so much and thats sad as it's my last pregnancy.

you do know that once he or she is here all these thoughts will go and you will utterly be in love with them but I know it seems so far away right now

hang on in there x

Fairy and Kitty, thank you so much for your posts they have made my cry, it is a help to know I am not abnormal, I just can't seem to summon up the happy feelings I just feel like I want this to all go away. I am really hoping I perk up once the sickness is over

flumpy - it's just a really horrid time of pregnancy I do feel a bit better now and am starting to look foward to her being here. I think you are still in a state of shock that coupled with feeling rotten as only the first trimester can make you feel no wonder you are down.

I think if you look at one of your other two and think we are going to have another one of them it makes you feel better as you would never be without them now. The third will slot right in and you will wonder why you ever felt like this (thats what I'm hoping anyway).

i felt the same way to im due in july and when i told some people i know they were so happy and i felt like so detatched from it.why were they so happy and not me when all i wanted to do was cry,and pretent the whole thing wasnt happenning.
for me it was fear,
fear of change (we are ok as things are)
not being able to cope
not wanting all this sickness and tiredness
i has a scan at 22 wks and saw my little boy up close and for some reason it was like thats my son and i was kinda hooked,i still cant believe hes in there and im still scared of a lot of things.
but one things for sure hes got to come out and after reading all the worries on here
i know im not alone and us mums or mums to be all have the same fears and doubts
just take a deep breath have a huge hug and take one day at a time.to get used to the idea,
thinking of you,we are all here for you,so have a moan when you need to

Oh my goodness what a wonderful thread, you've all said exactly how I feel. I'm pregnant with number 3 planned and I'm mainly trying to forget about it. Only just booked in with the mw this week and I'm probably 11 weeks, only told one friend.
What I keep trying to remember is when we were trying I was so convinced that I wanted one and then I got pregnant and I was so convinced that I didn't - bizarre.
I remember feeling this way when I had my 2nd though, my eldest was only 21 months at the time and I remember I kept looking at him and thinking you don't know whats going to hit you soon - then of course ds2 was born and everything was fine.
However DH is avoiding talking about it at all, and he looks so weary looking after 2 sometimes (he is 49 this year) so I do worry about going backwards.
I think my 2 will be good helpers though and can see me handing over the pushchair and entertainment feeding once weaned, so that will be a change from first time around.
I think also as you get older and you have more births you do get a bit more risk averse, and I keep thinking is a third pushing my luck on the health stakes - for me and baby, and having 2 decent births already am I pushing my luck in that regard.
Worries worries, anyway your messages have been a great help.
Think I'm due around 6th November so would be great to keep in touch.
Macca

Flumpybumpy I too am pregnant with my third. I never felt like I was 'complete' after the birth of my DS and I had to twist DH's arm to go for number 3. I was over the moon when I got a +ve (I'm now 11 wks) but since then I've been wondering why an earth I've got myself in this situation. I too haven't really told anyone (mainly for fear of them asking if it was an accident). I also think that if I have my scan and there is nothing there, I won't try again. I worry constantly how I'm going to juggle everyday life with a new baby in the equation. I'm hoping that once I have the scan next week, I'll feel a bit more attached, worry less and get on and enjoy my last pregnancy. I think your feelings are perfectly normal (either that or we are all a bit odd). Keep talking and we'll be here to support you.

Amy123 - I'm also due 6th November and I could have written your post as your story is so similar to my own. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy as it's highly likely to be my last. Funny how our emotions grab hold and we lose sight of rationalism.

FB, you are not alone although I'm also surprised no. of people who feel the same esp with no.3. I'm 15 wks now, and it's improved a lot, I was very depressed early on and considered briefly termination although this baby was kind of planned. Hard to feel anything about 'it'. Hormones a huge part of it I think as as soon as I did get to 11-12 weeks things did improve, I just stopped wanting to cry when I woke up. I don't think it's a matter of kick up the a*&e, it IS hard with two already and esp if this one wasn't planned and you're feeling sick too. With me, my mum and dp tried to help but constantly saying positive things about newborns and eventually that helped a bit as I looked at photos of my ds's as babies etc and remembered how euphoric I was at ds2's birth. Balancing out all the anxiety and negativity in some way. I had to work at it, and I still don't feel that enthusiastic about dc3 but hoping a scan next week will change that. I still believe that like nbg it doesn't matter if you're not excited all the way through you'll still love your baby just like the others. BTW, I found pulsatilla (homeopathic remedy from boots etc) helped a bit with the depression, put a dampener on the hormones.

It will likely hit a peak at 7-8 weeks for you cos that's when the hormones are worst so if you're prepared for it, maybe something to look forward to, even just a little thing, that may help. Hugs anyway, cos I do know just how you must be feeling.