Hi everyone,
I'm seeking advice and support regarding my recent gestational diabetes diagnosis and the confusion surrounding it.
For my story, context is quite important. My best friend as a teenager had type 1 diabetes and suffered immensely, eventually taking her own life via insulin overdose. Because of this, I have feared gestational diabetes an admittedly disproportionate amount during my pregnancy.
At 28 weeks, I was tested for gestational diabetes due to my BMI (just 1 pound over the acceptable level) and being half Afro-Caribbean. The experience was very unpleasant—I was one of the last people to be tested that morning, which meant an extra-long wait. I've struggled with nausea throughout my pregnancy and was worried about throwing up during the test. We made sure to eat just before 10 PM the night before, something I would never do normally- the nurse taking my blood said that was a good idea- and the glucose test came back clear.
Fast forward to my growth scan at 32 weeks, the sonographer noted that my amniotic fluid was too deep and the baby's torso was too large, leading to another diabetes test. This time, it was just a single morning test, not the two-part test I had before. I ate a late night snack the night before, thinking it was the same protocol only to be told they were only reading my fasting levels.
I teach at secondary school and I got the call with the results to say I had failed during a busy school day and couldn't properly engage in the conversation about my diet. My partner went for me to collect the testing kit and he asked to speak to someone about the diagnosis. He learned that the test had come back borderline—I failed by just 0.1. The nurse said that if it weren't for my BMI and ethnicity, I might not have been labelled with gestational diabetes. We took the testing kit home, and I started testing six times a day as instructed.
This has been incredibly challenging as a teacher with an irregular schedule and moments in the day where you simply cannot take a blood test. In the week since the diagnosis I am more likely to end up going hungry trying to find a suitable time to eat. with an hour window where I can test. Even so, I have managed them all. My readings have been inconsistent with gestational diabetes at every single point, with more lows between meals rather than highs.
At home our diet mainly consists of recipes from the 500 Calorie Diet Book, which we like for their simplicity and they specialise in low carb, high protein meals. My diet has not changed much, except now I do not feel I can eat at the normal times I would and my portion sizes are a little bit smaller because I am afraid of spiking.
Because I had to cut the initial call short I have not been given clear guidance, so I've been spiralling, googling, and experiencing extreme stress and trauma thinking about my lovely friend and letting down my first baby. It is hard to do anything without crying and it feels quite physically painful to think about.
My midwife is sympathetic and doesn't believe I have gestational diabetes, but was honest telling me that the label will stick for the rest of my pregnancy and there is nothing I can do to change that.
At the next scan, my amniotic fluid levels were normal, and the baby, previously considered too big, is now deemed too small. The conflicting information is overwhelming.
During a consultant appointment, I couldn't speak or look at the doctor. My partner had to communicate for me while I silently cried. The consultant outlined all the potential complications for my baby and the strict monitoring required, even though they doubted I truly have gestational diabetes too.
This whole situation has left me distressed and unable to teach. I've been signed off work early due to the immense stress and uncertainty. And I still don't understand what's happening with my baby—why the size fluctuations?
Gestational diabetes doesn't seem to be the answer, but I have never anywhere seen this diagnosis get walked back. It feels like a maze with nothing but dead ends.
I have now read so many women in my position told to just be quiet and accept what is happening to them. I already know how the script goes: If my readings are good, I will likely be told that it is either because I am managing the diabetes with diet or that I must have missed a massive spike or something. Or I will be told to just do the diet and get over it because its better for the baby. But it has been bad for my baby so far. Firstly, I've lost a month with with my baby after he is born due to having to go off work. More grievously, I'm seriously worried the doctors will overlook other potential issues surrounding these size fluctuations and simply call it gestational diabetes. Not to mention I'm really struggling to cope emotionally to the point where I'm so worried it will affect my ability to bond with him on the other side.
Has anyone else experienced something similar or have any advice on how to cope with this situation?