My ex-husband and I divorced 6 years ago, but despite that, there have been some occasions in which we spend the odd night together. We share a 15 year old son already.
My periods had started becoming irregular in my early fourties and almost completely stopped happening, so of course I didn’t notice anything awry until I started to feel ill. Obviously my first thought was general illness or menopausal symptoms, pregnancy didn’t even cross my mind until I spoke to a trusted friend about it the other day, bought a pregnancy test and…there were have it. Bear in mind that it took 4 rounds of IVF to conceive my son and I was told some years before having him that I would never be able to have children.
The issue is, it can only be my ex-husband’s child. I haven’t spent the night with anyone else in 6 months, and my scan placed me at 8 weeks and 2 days. I’m not sure what to tell him, what to tell my son, how to even start to explain the situation to my boss who is expecting me in Copenhagen 2 days a week for the next year, it’s all just so up in the air at the moment.
I also don’t know if I would be selfish to have this child. When they’re 20, i’ll be 68. my ex-husband will be 74. My mother had me in her early fourties and I understand the high level of risk involved with pregnancies later in life. It’s sort of strange, as BD and I really wanted a second child a few years after DS, but it didn’t work out.
It all just feels conflicting. I’m starting to warm to the idea of a second child, but am also conscious that I shouldn’t get too attached at this stage, but in a way it just feels like fate.
What do I do?