Missing my parents during pregnancy

[Ship91]

Hi!
My mum passed away when I was 10 years old and my dad when I was 25 years old. I’m 33 years old. I’m in touch with my brother and his family but they’re far away.
I’m currently 24 weeks pregnant (3rd pregnancy, 3 year old son) and I really miss my parents especially my mum. My first pregnancy was during Covid and I accepted being alone. The only help I did get then was from my MIL. Though I didn’t rely on her much. However, ever since I had a miscarriage and was indirectly blamed for it, the relationship between us isn’t quite the same.
I’ve missed having my mum and wish she was here. I’m a grown woman in my 30s doing everything myself . But I really miss her and spend long periods of time wishing she was here. How can I distract myself?
I will be meal prepping etc this time too and I’m thinking of having a doula as I know I won’t get much help after birth. It doesn’t help that my husband is self-employed and will be going back to work right away.
I just feel really sad. It’s my fault that maybe if I ignored my MIL I would be more tolerant and accepting of her but I just couldn’t tolerate the blame for a miscarriage. Not to mention, my husband’s brother’s wife just lives opposite her and always asks for help and gets it even if she has a cold. She has deliberately been coming to see MIlL more, so MIL thinks she’s amazing. She has a cold and gets help. Whereas I’ve got a sinus infection following from a cold plus pregnancy issues and no one gives a damn lol.
I try and tell my husband that I feel alone but he doesn’t have much sympathy as there’s not much anyone can do about it. It’s kind of affecting my mental health now. This whole pregnancy has been filled with anxiety and sadness plus my son seems to hate me at times for no reason. It makes me feel that my absence wouldn’t make any difference when I really try and do a lot. Father’s Day on Sunday too which is all going to be about my FIL who I have to put effort in for :(

Not the same OP as luckily still have DN but I lost my DH 2 years ago. Same age as you and FTM at 25 weeks tomorrow . I miss him so so much and this pregnancy has made it worse as you think about all the experiences he'll miss out on. I wake up crying all the time.

I'm so sorry for your losses this sounds unbelievably hard. Have you had therapy to help you process the losses? (I've not had it yet but thinking maybe in a few years). Do you have any close friends you can speak to? Sending you lots of love.

Ahhh I felt the same when I was pregnant with our little girl I really missed my mum!!

I have no real advice as my MiL is fantatsic but it’s not really the same anyway as she’s not my Mum if that makes sense!! But just wanted to send you a big hug it’s so hard!!

I then lost my Dad when baby was 10 weeks and it bought up lots of feelings about everything!! I am going to source some grief counselling as it’s thrown up a lot of feelings I didn’t expect!!

Oh and Mothers Day I completely
ignored until we had our little
girl husband would sort his mum! Father’s Day this year is only being a thing because it’s my husbands first as a dad- can you completely opt out for the day?!

Same 25 weeks tomorrow! I’m considering therapy as I think I really need it.
I’m in a different city and I’m really trying to make some new friends. I guess I really need some as I’ve been relying far too much on my husband and tbh he doesn’t have much interest in much I say lol.

Not the same situation as most people in this thread, but my mum died when I was 19 and every time I have a major life event, it hurts so much knowing she won't be there to share it with me.

Two days ago I realised I wouldn't be able to tell her I'd gotten pregnant, nor would she ever meet my baby, and I cried on and off for like a few hours. My partner's very supportive and sympathetic, but he does find it hard to know what to say after a while.

It's very sad and hard, and I hear you.

Not exactly the same, because both of my parents are alive, but they are both largely absent from my life and my kid's lives. I have two children already and they haven't seen their grandparents in years. They have zero interest in my kids, and there is a lot of separate drama with both of them that means it's hard to visit them and we can't stay over etc.

I also feel really sad about this, moreso during pregnancy. I think it's partially the feeling of being vulnerable and alone, having only really your partner to rely on, and partially perhaps a grief once again for the relationship you want your child to have with their grandparents that they will never have. I certainly feel sad for my unborn baby when I think they will never have this relationship with grandparents that other children do.

It also makes it harder when you hear how much support and love most people seem to receive from their parents. I don't know if any of this helps, but I think in your situation it is completely normal and understandable to be feeling this way.