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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Starting new job - when to start trying for baby number 2

15 replies

Phoebe1994 · 12/06/2024 22:54

Hey everyone,

I had my first baby early 2023 and I have been on maternity leave since. I have been a primary school teacher for seven years and I have just got a new part-time teaching job in a new school. I'm 30 years old and my husband and I would like a few more children. We have always pictured having three children.

I'm a very anxious person and I worry a lot about what others may think... We would like to start ttc again after I have settled into my new job at my new school (September start date). We were planning to ttc from January 2025. This gives me a couple of months to settle in to the new school. My husband wants to start ttc around November but I feel that I couldn't that soon after just starting a new job.

It took us seven months to conceive our first baby and I am aware that we can not possibly plan exactly when we will conceive this time. I am just frightened that my new headteacher/colleagues would be annoyed with me for getting pregnant within the first year....

I know I can't be discriminated against or anything. But, I guess I'm just looking for reassurance? Or experiences from others?

We don't really want a huge age gap between our children. Ideally, I would wait a year before ttc after starting a new job because I feel that "it's frowned upon" to not do so... But, at the same time I feel that my family plan is more important. Wouldn't want to hold off ttc when it could take a while anyway and I keep thinking to myself that having my family plan is more important than a job...

I'm just worried I will annoy my new school for accepting a new job and falling pregnant within the first year. I'm worried I will be so concerned about telling them/their reaction that I'll just be majorly stressed out whilst ttc and for the first trimester. Any support or encouragement would be much appreciated.

Thanks in advance xx

OP posts:
HelterSkelter224 · 12/06/2024 22:58

I recently started a new job... then immediately found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. It's life. They'll deal with it! They're also legally not allowed to discriminate against you in any way so don't plan your life around a job.

Original poster
Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 06:04

HelterSkelter224 · 12/06/2024 22:58

I recently started a new job... then immediately found out I was 6 weeks pregnant. It's life. They'll deal with it! They're also legally not allowed to discriminate against you in any way so don't plan your life around a job.

Thank you so much for replying. That's so reassuring. You are right! It's a job at the end of the day. They can't discriminate and family plans are more important! Thank you :) x

OP posts:
Welshcake15 · 13/06/2024 06:50

For my job I needed to have at least 1 year's continuous employment in order to get the enhanced maternity pay. I'd check what your employer's policy is there and base my plans around that.

BendingSpoons · 13/06/2024 06:57

Welshcake15 · 13/06/2024 06:50

For my job I needed to have at least 1 year's continuous employment in order to get the enhanced maternity pay. I'd check what your employer's policy is there and base my plans around that.

Agree with this - check mat pay dates and then go with that. Of course no school will be thrilled but it's hardly surprising and they will likely be used to it, given many teachers are youngish females.

Loopytiles · 13/06/2024 06:58

I too would base it on pay/conditions.

readyforroundthree · 13/06/2024 07:51

I've been with my employer for 2 years in August and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. Like you I also think I've let them down or they will think 'oh great' which I know is a them problem but I'm too scared to tell them 🤣 I'm psyching myself up to tell them around 6 weeks, pathetic I know but you aren't the only one who thinks like this.

readyforroundthree · 13/06/2024 07:52

That meant to say around 16 weeks 🙈

Startingagainandagain · 13/06/2024 08:05

Start TTC as soon as you can...

You said it took a while to happen before and you are 30 (which is obviously still young but it is still a factor).

Your bosses are not legally allowed to discriminate against you as you know because of this.

Peonies12 · 13/06/2024 09:40

I’d want to check how long you have to be there to be eligible for enhanced maternity pay, and base it on that. And really don’t concern yourself with the age gap. Nothing is guaranteed with TTC even though you’ve had 1 already.

Original poster
Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 10:14

Welshcake15 · 13/06/2024 06:50

For my job I needed to have at least 1 year's continuous employment in order to get the enhanced maternity pay. I'd check what your employer's policy is there and base my plans around that.

Thank you for your reply :) do you mean one years continuous employment before getting pregnant or you could be pregnant but not have maternity leave until a year? As in you could get pregnant 4 or so months into starting work because overall you would have worked there for one year? Or do you mean working for one year before even getting pregnant? Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 10:16

readyforroundthree · 13/06/2024 07:51

I've been with my employer for 2 years in August and I'm 12 weeks pregnant. Like you I also think I've let them down or they will think 'oh great' which I know is a them problem but I'm too scared to tell them 🤣 I'm psyching myself up to tell them around 6 weeks, pathetic I know but you aren't the only one who thinks like this.

Congratulations! ❤️ Work will be supportive I'm sure! ☺️ It's so sad that women worry about these things. We shouldn't have to when it comes to having our families. Thank you so much for your reply! x

OP posts:
Original poster
Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 10:17

Startingagainandagain · 13/06/2024 08:05

Start TTC as soon as you can...

You said it took a while to happen before and you are 30 (which is obviously still young but it is still a factor).

Your bosses are not legally allowed to discriminate against you as you know because of this.

Thank you so much for this. I know at the end of the day it is my right to choose when I become pregnant. And I know work cannot discriminate against me for this. Thank you xxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 10:18

Peonies12 · 13/06/2024 09:40

I’d want to check how long you have to be there to be eligible for enhanced maternity pay, and base it on that. And really don’t concern yourself with the age gap. Nothing is guaranteed with TTC even though you’ve had 1 already.

Thank you so much ❤️ I really appreciate the reply! Xx

OP posts:
Welshcake15 · 14/06/2024 08:44

Phoebe1994 · 13/06/2024 10:14

Thank you for your reply :) do you mean one years continuous employment before getting pregnant or you could be pregnant but not have maternity leave until a year? As in you could get pregnant 4 or so months into starting work because overall you would have worked there for one year? Or do you mean working for one year before even getting pregnant? Xx

Show quote history

So with my contract as long you've been there for 1 year by the time you leave to go on maternity then you'll get the enhanced maternity package. You don't have to have one year before you get pregnant. Just double check what your maternity policy says about this because for me it would have meant losing out of 6 months full pay if I didn't have my 1 year of continual service.

Welshcake15 · 14/06/2024 08:46

Also, I've got an exact 2 year gap between my first and second children, and it's a lovely gap. Difficult at first because my then two year old didn't really understand about being gentle with the baby, but they're the best of friends now!

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