Paternity leave - how to use 9 weeks

[CharlotteB94]

My husband is lucky to get 9 weeks paid paternity leave - I'm due at the end of September. He needs to tell work this month whether he plans to split the leave or use it all in one block.

This is our first baby so I'm looking for some advice from those who have been through it.

Thinking 6 weeks in beginning + 3 weeks to use later in the year?

I'm taking a year off and planning on changing jobs so we have no hard dates for me to go back to work but potentially he could use some to help when I do transition back.

Let me know your thoughts!

You could make arguments for either. In the first twelve weeks is when you will need his support more, especially if you have a rough birth or a difficult baby. Later on you have more chance of having some "nice" family time that might not otherwise be available to go away or whatever. Without a crystal ball there's no way to know which will work out better so I'd just decide what you prioritise higher and go with it.

A lot will depend upon how you give birth and what challenges that might present. If you have a c-section, you'll definitely need help with some basics for a good few weeks. That needn't necessarily be entirely from your DH though if you've got family nearby. Your current plan sounds sensible if his job needs to know now.

If his employer is generally accommodating, I'd be tempted to ask if he could do 3 weeks off followed by 6 weeks part-time from home (if possible) - i.e. 3 weeks leave, then the final 3 when baby is a little older for the sake of a nice time together.

Haven't done it yet, but I'm in a similar situation to you - also due end of September and my husband gets 8 weeks paid paternity leave. We're planning to use the full 8 weeks in one go so that he can be completely present and involved in the early weeks when everything is probably going to feel quite overwhelming, and it means he'll be going back to work in late November/early December when work is quieter, he can WFH some of the time and then take another couple of weeks off at Christmas.

My 1st was born at the very start of the pandemic, and because my husband's paternity leave fell when everyone was setting up to work from home he was then in the back of the queue for equipment when he officially was meant to return to work at the end of his paternity leave. Because of that he ended up having 10 weeks off work in total, and it was amazing! It was just the nicest thing to spend those first few precious weeks of our son's life together and it meant that I had more practical help than I would have done.

My husband had the same amount and used it all at the start, I would do the same again as I wouldn't have felt ready for him to go back any sooner! If you want another few weeks later in the year he could just use annual leave (mine had lots saved up after not using any while on paternity leave for so long)

I would definitely split the leave. My husband used shared parental leave, he had 4 weeks initially (including 2 weeks paternity) and then another 4 weeks when I returned to work so little one didn't have to start nursery at the same time I was returning to work