Boss making remarks

[GreenHazel]

I am pregnant with my first child and unfortunately had to make this known to my employer very early due to the pregnancy being high risk (I normally work long overtime hours, 80-100 a week and wanted to discuss the need to reduce this). For context, we are a small uk consultancy team of a larger global company and I am the most senior person after my boss. I was hired a few years before him so he didn’t directly hire me.

He took the news of my pregnancy quite badly, putting his face in his hands, saying he couldn’t believe this has happened to him and even made a joke about pushing me down the stairs.

Since then, he has been making me feel my pregnancy is a constant nuisance. An example being he told me I’m on my final strike, one being I couldn’t travel for a business meeting as the country is zika high risk and another being I couldn’t travel on short notice due to my 12 week scan (which I tried to reschedule).

All of the above is said in a banter/joke way but I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something wrong and I’m some how failing to do my job.

I’m torn about discussing with HR for fear of escalation, but I also don’t feel I can keep this going for another 5 months. It also makes me concerned about what environment I would be coming back to after maternity leave. Would love to hear others opinions; am I being too sensitive? Should I just suck it up?

Go to HR straight away. That is totally unacceptable. Life happens, he is acting like a complete ass. I wouldn't worry about the backlash in this case at all because either way he will make life difficult

I would try a "this nonsense about my pregnancy stops right now you realise" approach perhaps first if you feel able to. And if it doesn't then HR.

However do keep a note of all that he has said and when in case you need to go down that route

Speak with HR and address it immediately, it will continue to get worse.

if you leave it your last few months will be miserable and when the times comes to return from maternity the last thing you need to be worrying about is a negative work environment as its hard enough leaving baby X

Important to at least document your best recollection of his comments and how he has made you feel up to this point. Emailing yourself is good as then it's time stamped for if you need it later.
I would try and address it with him first but yeah if he doesn't change then HR

I agree with the previous comments. Document everything.

Then either just go straight to HR, or if you want to give him an opportunity to cut it out, the next time he says anything, you say, "Can I just stop you there? One more inappropriate comment about my pregnancy and I will be raising a grievance with HR. This is your last and only warning."

Wow, wow, WOW!
I work in HR and strongly advise you to tell them what's going on. Jokingly or not, telling a pregnant employee that you are going to 'push them down the stairs' is extremely serious and as far as I'm concerned grounds for them to start an investigation into his behaviour.
What a nasty man with clearly archaic views.

I would go straight to HR. That comment about pushing you downstairs is not a joke and quite disgusting.
He clearly cannot cope without you but making you feel guilty about not being able to do things is awful, even if he tries to slant it as ‘banter’.

You need to escalate this quickly upwards. Absolutely diabolical treatment and harassment.

He's telling you that you are on your final strike? He's behaving a pullingly and he will have no trouble throwing your end of the bus, literally or figuratively, if he gets the chance.

Report it to HR

I'd expect him to fully fuck you over first chance he gets including trying for your redundancy while on mat leave or moving you into some shitty sodelined role upon return.
on that basis...The best defense is a good offence

Report to HR. Email requesting a meeting . Do it now. today.
Include the head in the hands / staircase "joke". All of it.
Put everything so far in writing with dates times and witnesses.
You shouldn't waste time - get it on the record asap.

I also recommend recording your meeting with HR and any 1:1s or meetings of note inc boss.

You can do this discretely using your mobile voice notes
My view is get the evidence first and "ask permission" later. To date its served me well enough.