C Section Nerves

[onewktogo]

Having my c section in the next week and I’m starting to feel a bit nervous. The procedure itself isn’t making me nervous (yet, this might change the night before or day of!!!) but my main concern comes from how I will cope on the post natal ward.

At the hospital I’m at partners are allowed to stay however I don’t want mine staying as he’d have to sleep in a chair and I’d rather he just went home if I’m honest!

I’m feeling apprehensive because I’ve read other women’s experience of the post natal ward and they were essentially left to struggle with their baby once their partners had been sent home, were made to feel guilty for pressing the buzzer for help pick up their baby or ask for pain relief and had a lack of breast feeding support.

Firstly, I’d love some advice on how to deal with this please and how to confidently advocate for myself at such a vulnerable time?

Also, I am aware that other women’s partners do prefer to stay feet and I’m also feeling apprehensive about this as again I’ve read recently that this is often one of the most frustrating parts in the post natal ward as partners can be loud, watching loud videos/making video calls at all hours etc. I’d also appreciate some advice on how to deal with this.

Thank you!

Try not to worry about this in advance and know that your partner can be there if you need the support.
I've had two c sections and they try and get you as independent as possible early on so ideally you don't need to buzz for everything but it would be poor care to get annoyed when someone needs help. I worked for a long time on the postnatal wards on the infant feeding team and yes there are midwives that get more irritated but it's very dependent on who is on shift. Don't go into your op already worrying about lack of care as you'll be expecting that/ looking out for that.

Thanks @Lemonyfire. I hope I am able to be independent and not need to rely on pressing the buzzer.

I think I’d rather mentally prepare myself though. I’ve been a patient on the antenatal ward for two weeks now for monitoring before my section and do everything myself as I don’t want to trouble the staff. I can tell they get arsey when people press their buzzer and I just want to be equipped for arseyness if I need to press my buzzer in the postnatal ward!

I've had 2 c-sections.

At the time of the first one, partners were not allowed to stay overnight. I was in for a week and found the first couple of nights really difficult as I was bed-bound (due to catheter and IV antibiotics) and the night staff were really busy, so didn't have time/inclination to help with lifting baby to me, getting nappy changing things for me etc.

By the time of my second C-section, they'd changed the rules and partners were allowed to stay. This made it SO much easier. I only had to concentrate on feeding, and my husband did all nappy changes, lifted baby to me etc etc.

I would maybe suggest keeping an open mind about your partner staying, especially for the first night until you have your catheter out and are more mobile. Yes, he'd have to sleep in a chair but I'm sure he will manage for one night. You could always pack a few bits for him in a separate bag and then play it by ear depending on how you feel?

It's great that you have the option either way, so definitely not something to stress over - good luck with everything, I'm sure it will all be great!

Thanks for sharing your experience @Bax765. I will keep an open mind as I suppose id rather he was here to help than me struggle on my own. My thought process was if he goes home and gets a decent enough sleep, he will be able to come back first thing and allow me to then have a decent sleep

I’ve had 2 sections - 1 emergency and 1 planned

I agree with PP about keeping an open mind re letting your partner stay. Him sleeping in a chair is nothing compared to what you will go through.

I know another PP has said they try to get you independent as early as possible but this is not always the case and not always doable tbh. My catheter was not taken out for over 12 hours either time, so i was bed bound both times. I had my section at 9am and wasn’t able to get out of bed until 11pm.

Someone also needs to be there to help you get out of bed the first time. I couldn’t bend down at all so make sure you have everything accessible higher up.

Also make sure you ask for something stronger than ibuprofen and paracetamol if you need it, and keep taking painkillers, don’t wait until you’re in pain. The drugs rounds are often late so also take in your own painkillers.

Honestly, there are not enough staff to help properly overnight when you’ll be exhausted and in pain, and i would strongly recommend having your partner there for at least some of it.

As it's a planned section the worst part when you in immobile will atleast be during the day when your partner is there.

Also you really might not be too long either. My focus was to come home and was out 36 hours after my section. Much more relaxing at home

I had my DC late in the day and DH had to leave the ward before I was fully mobile so he set up everything on the table within my reach - phone, water, snacks, baby changing equipment. I was also able to get baby out of the cot but couldn’t safely put him back so had to buzz for that and sometimes it took a few minutes but that was no problem.
In terms of pain relief just be very clear that if they say there’s nothing else you can have tell them that you know there is; my first time there was always something available so second time I wouldn’t be fobbed off

Also you’ll be on your feet within 12 hours so try not to panic; my baby was very sleepy the first night so it was a pretty calm night

Thanks everyone! I have got my own paracetamol and ibuprofen packed and will definitely be asking for something stronger if needed. I plan on breastfeeding (not sure how successful it will be at 35 weeks) so I’m not sure if this will affect what I can take?

I am first on the list as I’m high risk so I’m hoping that by the time my partner goes home I will be a bit more mobile. I do worry about getting in and out the bed on my own though!

I used all of my savings to get a private room after my second c section and it made a huge amount of difference to the experience. I would go into debt to get a private room if I had to. Sometimes there isn't one but it's 100% worth trying to get one. If I had another child I would choose a hospital based on likelihood of getting a private room afterwards. It made an incredible difference. I was able to sleep, I was able to use the toilet when I wanted to, it was an amazing calm experience.
My DH didn't stay on ward either time. It was horrible the first time on post natal ward, yes there are partners wandering around, chatting loudly, using the women's loo. One midwife told me that she had found a man pissing into one of the sinks at night. Even with the curtains drawn around the bed I had someone's husband wandering in while I was trying to feed.
Sure you can complain about it but it will make no difference especially not in the middle of the night. The nurses both times were far too busy to offer much help but I found that when I had the private room I was more able to be up and out of bed faster probably because I was happier and less stressed and having privacy meant establishing breastfeeding was much easier.

I bought myself a c-section belt from Amazon before my op. Made a huge difference in terms of mobility and pain compared to the other poor women in the ward. The midwife had not seen one before so I don’t think it’s common here but blimey it made all the difference. I used it for about 6 weeks after too.

Assuming your baby is well enough, just get home as quick as you can.

I was mobile & asking for a shower ASAP so I could go! I also told them 'Im going home today' on day 2 - I wasn't on the list, so I asked to be put on it ASAP as you'll need your blood thinners before they let you go.

My DH went home overnight, and it was fine. The worst part of the ward was the men snoring & having booming conversations about baby wipe warmers at 2am.
DH was there early til late which was when i needed him. I found the nurses helpful overnight.

Honestly, just get home. That's when you can relax & really enjoy your baby.

I hope it all goes well x

Try not to worry about breastfeeding not being successful early on. My son was born at 33 weeks post c section and we pumped for a while and then established, it's harder but your milk will come in. While working in infant feeding team I covered special care baby unit with the preemies and everyone is different so just reach out for breastfeeding support if it's something you want to do