Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Cant get pregnant

25 replies

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 12:45

I cant get pregnant again .

The first time I had a baby I got pregnant while I was on the pill... She was a C-Sec baby and I had a very hard time recovering and was unable to produce enough milk for her. She ended up having a hole in the heart ( is ok now ) and I had very bad PND.

She is 19 months now and I have been trying for another. I have had scans inside and out at BUPA and have been checked over and have been told there is no reason why I cannot be pregnant again. But its just not happening, I have been trying on and off for months and months (we did not want a big gap between babies) I am not suffering from PND any more I stopped anti d's over 9 months ago.

I am doing all the things you should to get pregnant ... legs up after, checking when I am ovulating etc and having a go then, eating right, I don't smoke nothing like that.. and still nothing its starting to get to me ...
anyone have any ideas? has this happened to any of you? suggestions anyone?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

hanaflower · 07/04/2008 12:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VictorianSqualor · 07/04/2008 12:49

Relax.
Hard I know but it won't happen whilst you're fretting. Try to allow yourself to think that it will happen when it happens and just go with the flow for a while.
Good Luck.

Homebird8 · 07/04/2008 12:49

It sounds like you can get pregnant again. It probably sounds glib but sheer desperation sometimes stops it happening when you want it most.

Original poster

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 12:54

I am thinking of having him checked yes.. As its one of the only things we have not checked yet, and in total I have been trying for 9 and a half months

OP posts:

DonDons · 07/04/2008 13:00

took me 9 months first time (MC) and then another 15 months for this one (39 weeks now). No ascertainable problem with either of us. Know it is hard to do when everyone says 'just relax' and 'don't think about it too much' etc but I really think they are right.

I think we were resigned to needing assisted conception and therefore put less pressure on conceiving naturally......then....BFP on morning of IUI appointment.......

Original poster

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 13:23

yea I guess... My mum said I should just relax and wait.

its hard to though when you are stressed about it.

OP posts:

cyteen · 07/04/2008 13:30

I know it's the last thing you feel able to do, but honestly, relaxation is key IME. We spent all of last year trying, as well as dealing with my brother's terminal illness and death; the stress every month of wondering if I was and then finding out I wasn't, on top of everything else, was so difficult. After a particularly upsetting experience in November I just gave up and decided I couldn't do it to myself anymore...got my BFP the day before New Year's Eve. So it did take us almost exactly a year!

Someone I know put it rather more succintly when I made an almost identical thread to this one on another board: "Both times, after trying and trying, I suddenly though 'What am I doing, I don't want a baby.' Bosh, duffers."

finallypregnant · 07/04/2008 14:12

Well it took us nearly 4 years and that was in the month we went on holiday and I didn't pee on a stick every morning. We went out, had a fab meal with lots of wine and got quite drunk.

Sounds very cliche and not very helpful to you but the best piece of advice I can give is to try and forget about it (easy to say believe me I know as I used to almost boil when people told me that but I think at the end of the day it does work),

Good luck

Original poster

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 15:09

I hope it does not take me 4 years

I am trying to relax and I do think it is true that you need to be first.

But I worry that I just cant have children anymore I am being paranoid I know but I had a nasty gyne who 6 years ago said ...'you'll be lucky to even get pregnant let alone have a baby''

OP posts:

gem1981 · 07/04/2008 15:16

best piece of advice anyone gave me was to have sex on the 10th day after your period starts and then every other day until 2 days after ovulation.

i was making sure we had sex on days around ovulation - we had been trying for 7 months

First month I tried her suggestion - BAM !pregnant - its worth a try.

ScaryHairy · 07/04/2008 15:16

It sounds like you had an awfully traumatic time when your daughter was born.

I know it sounds terribly hippy, but are you sure you've got over the shock and stress of all of that?

I have been having some trouble conceiving number 2 (and now have conceived, but it is ectopic, sadly) and one of the things that I wondered was whether left over stress and fear from my difficult first birth might be causing some sort of "block" so that I couldn't get pregnant.

Do you feel anything like that might be the cause?

mama2bee · 07/04/2008 15:20

Hi Emski81 I took She Oak, it's a flower remedy, see here for more details: flowersense.co.uk/proddetail.php?prod=211048 I also had weekly reflexology sessions which really helped me to relax and I was definitely less stressed. I decided to try these things after having a MC, which did make me more stressed when ttc again. There's lots of info about She Oak on the internet, especially australian sites as it's a bush flower essence but let me know if you'd like more info. Hope that helps.

7monthsplus · 07/04/2008 15:48

Hi, Best advice is relax as stressing is bad for getting pregnant .. how long have you been trying?
maybe stop "trying" and start relaxing as you got pregnant before..
if trying for more than 8 months see GP and get partner checked too.
I stopped trying after 15 years of stressing and here I am now DUE..
good luck

7monthsplus · 07/04/2008 15:49

oh and I was told I would never have a baby even with treatment which was stressful and failed.. but no treatment pressure off it worked..

CantSleepWontSleep · 07/04/2008 15:59

What reason did your gynae give for saying that Emski?

9.5 months really is no time at all to have been trying you know.

Official stats are that around 80% of people will get pregnant within a year of trying.

Islamum · 07/04/2008 16:01

I got pg straight away first time, 10wk mc, we were both devestated and both became depressed, it took 3 years to concieve again, and just like dondons, when we resigned ourselves to probably needing intervention, which we decided to put off for another year until we were more finacially stable BFP! DD born 7/11/07. I am convinced that my stress was the problem, I ended up changing jobs which really helped. Its horrid I know, I was convinced I was never going to have a baby and removing stress from your life is so hard. Good luck x

Original poster

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 19:36

Its quite possible that I am stressing from the trauma of the last birth as it was quite an event...things leading up to it and after. Including almost loosing my brother (he was very ill in hospital)

I have tried Bach before and I do have some OAK so will give that a go .thanks

and thanks for the guide Scareyhairy Will try that as well....along with getting him checked.

OP posts:

Original poster

Emski81 · 07/04/2008 19:37

Oh and the gyne never would say why he thought I could never get preg he just said I would be lucky...he was not that nice a guy and at the time I was a bit younger and in the mindset that I would never have children....

OP posts:

mama2bee · 08/04/2008 11:30

Emski SHE OAK is not one of the Bach flower remedies (Bach does OAK, but this is different) SHE OAK is one of the Australian Bush Flower remedies, (you take it the same way, drops on the tongue) but I've only ever bought it online.

More info:

Promotes: ? emotionally open to conceive ? female balance
Indicated For: ? female imbalance ? inability to conceive for non-physical reasons

Size: 15ml

An Essence which is very beneficial in overcoming imbalances in and bringing about a sense of wellbeing in females. It will benefit women who feel distressed about infertility. It removes those personal blocks that prevent conception. It can also be used in conjunction with Flannel Flower which will help remove karmic patterns hindering conception. The fruit of this tree is very similar in size to a woman's ovary. This Essence was made from the female tree of the species.

If you compare the two you'll see they are very different. Good luck

Original poster

Emski81 · 08/04/2008 17:13

Ah I see ok thanks ....will try and get hold of that then.

OP posts:

babytime · 08/04/2008 17:28

have you had a laporoscomy (sorry cant spell it)

my friend have fertility tests and scans and everything was normal until she had this operation and they found some scar tissue and very very mild endometrisiousisblahblah - cant say it or spell it

But she had no symptoms and never would of known she had this if not for the operation. first month after she fell pregnant. after trying for three years!

maybe its something you should consider.

Original poster

Emski81 · 08/04/2008 23:13

I had a lapaoscopy already that and they said it was all normal totally normal. Also internal scans and external. all normal.

So no its not that,,, Husband is getting checked next wed though

OP posts:

johnworf · 09/04/2008 09:06

Hi,

~Emski, you don't say how old you are. I know that ageing can have an effect on how long it takes to get pregnant. I'm 41 and we were 'trying' last year with no success...saying that, I'd go out 3 days before the end of each cycle and buy myself a couple of HPT's!!!! I'd do them even though I knew that I wasn't. It became somewhat of an obsession with me. Each month was a BFN.

Around xmas last, my MIL's health started to decline after being diagnosed with lung cancer. What with looking after her and xmas all at once, I completely side-lined the pregnancy obsession.

You're gonna guess right here girl....that was the month I conceived :-)

Also, and dunno if this is true, I've heard that lots of women get preggers after having reflexology. I suppose it's worth a try.

Original poster

Emski81 · 09/04/2008 14:12

oh I am 28 so should not really be a problem should it?

OP posts:

johnworf · 10/04/2008 12:16

I think the age related concerns regarding conceiving kick in around age 35 so no, you're not a candidate for 'granny mum' like me

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread