big baby, c section, prolapse etc? [TMI potentially sorry]

[stopeatingchocolate]

hi

I am due end of july. i have 2 other kids, first labour was terrible - 36 hours, pushing too long, left me with prolapse grade 2-3 which i got to an almost manageable position with a load of physio. second baby was big (9 pounds) . I had noticed skin tags or hymenal tags at the entrance of my vagina and saw a dr and they said its normal and come out from the weight of the baby. labour was a bit quicker as i was induced and prolapse still there but not really much worse.
i noticed though that sex was less enjoyable and think nerve endings went. i always said if i had a third i would have a c section because the prolapse makes me sad.

now im due soon. i have a fixed male doctor as the baby did have some potential complications so i was put on a surveillance track. baby is 98th percentile and doctor says its up to me but i can just get induced 1 week earlier if im worried about size but he recommends natural. thing is - i have really bad haemorrhoids , varicose veins down there, skin tags / hymenal tags (whatever they are) are out, and im so worried about prolapse. im also 41 so worried hormonally
i feel so disgusting even writing about this

what would you do? i have been told most damage is in first labour and most other damage is during pregnancy. but is this correct with a baby estimated to be around 9.5-10 pounds? im just SO DEPRESSED at the sight of my lady parts. its awful down there! and the haemorrhoids too. im so embarrased.

one thing is my stomach is one of my better parts and if i have a c section, one doctor said well youve already "affected" your vagina / pelvic floor. Why now compromise your stomach with major abdominal surgery?

i do understand that but worried about all thats going on down there. I havent told my doctor as he is male and i feel uncomfortable mentioning all the above to him.

any advice or experience would be welcomed

also what about those bump bands etc do they even help during pregnancy or only post partum?

I don't know about any additional issues caused by a big baby, but in general I would say that your core muscles are really important to a strong pelvic floor (the whole lot work together) and I would be hesitant about compromising another area when you already have issues. I would personally prefer to have intact core muscles to support my pelvic floor whilst I recover from pregnancy/labour.
But I've never had a big baby. Tricky choice.

I had a prolapse after baby 1 (normal size baby), baby 2 was 9lbs 9 and baby 3 was 9lbs 8. My prolapse didn’t get worse after baby 2 or 3, and as of now it currently doesn’t bother me (I don’t run but that’s the only thing). Personally I’d say go natural, as you can clearly deliver a big baby safely. Such a tricky one though!! I had a similar dilemma.

Thank you
Really interesting to hear your experiences and thoughts as k hadn't factored in the fact stomach muscles support pelvic floor

Does anyone know if the vaginal skin tags or hymnal tags will go away? And the haemorrhoids? It's so depressing
Any idea if these pregnancy belts and things help ?

I think pregnancy belts have been shown to be ineffective, but there's loads online about it if you fancy a tonne of reading 😆
Skin tags tend to become less noticeable once you've recovered from pregnancy and the 9lb dead weight is no longer sitting on top of them squishing them out. They are usually just cosmetic though? If they're not, and they're still causing problems postpartum I'd definitely do something about it then.
Haemorrhoids, no idea sorry. Imagine it's much the same though... once the weight is gone they must improve.
Ain't pregnancy a delight.

If you have a prolapse you may need surgery in the future. If you have a c section, my understanding is the surgery may be more complicated for you as you had scar tissue in your abdomen (I think some surgeries they go keyhole)

I'm part of a group on Facebook called 'FPOPS UK' for women with prolapse. It's a wonderful friendly and supportive group. I'm sure if you post your question on there you willl get lots of great advice

please can someone advise? my baby is likely going to be 10lb plus. although i am told it can be induced 2 weeks early. my other 2 babies were vaginal and i had a real depression after delivery because i had large hymenal tags, haemmhroids, rectocele prolapse and ongoing unrinary stress incontenence. i used to love dancing and running and after my first 2 i had to give up, or wear a giant pad knowing it would be soaking.

My hospital are saying i can decide if i want c section or not. what would you do? i read the above post and asked my doctor if i have pelvic floor repair will it be worse because i have a c section and was told no as its separate. i do want to avoid the mum tum if possible and some friends say that c section caused that . but otherwise i just feel a bit sad that my lady parts are just so unrecognisbale and im worried that delivering a big baby will make it worse.