I know I'm probably being really silly over this but I'm getting myself so worked up.
I'm 40+2, I went for a sweep yesterday but they couldn't do it as my cervix was too high and closed. Trying again tomorrow. Booked in for induction at 41+1.
I'm really starting to get really anxious and panicky though that something is going to go wrong with the baby. I've been lucky with a pretty easy pregnancy and I've been so happy, it took 10+ years to conceive, I've never been as happy in my life.
I went for a growth scan at 40w, and she has dropped from 50th to 28th percentile - within an acceptable range according to the consultant but only just. And I went into the hospital for monitoring yesterday after my midwife appointment as I had high BP but it came down to normal while I was there.
I just feel so scared that something is going to be wrong with her. Her heartbeat is fine, movements are fine, there's no real reason to be worried. But I am. I'm so anxious. I can't cope with it. I'm terrified that I've made the wrong decision about the induction date, they won't do one until 41w but I don't know if at my sweep I should beg them to induce me tomorrow instead. Especially if they can't do it again. I'm terrified of the induction despite only reading positive stories. I feel like whichever decision I make will be the wrong one, and something bad will happen, and it will be my fault because I made the wrong decision. I'm also convinced I'm hurting the baby with the anxiety and making it worse because I won't be releasing any oxytocin to go into labour naturally and she'll be feeling the anxiety though me.
I've done all the old wives tale type of things, but I've had nothing. I've had a few braxton hicks contractions from about 36-39 weeks here and there, but hardly any and nothing for ages. No twinges, no aches, no plugs or shows, nothing.
I am a bit superstitious sometimes and I feel like I saw something that was a bad sign. I also have that stupid "Monday's Child is..." poem going round in my head all the time and worrying about what day they 'll be born and if I birth them on the wrong day I'll be ruining their life. I know how ridiculous it sounds but I just can't get all these thoughts out of my mind, and it's shocked me how bad it's been. I have had anxiety in the past and I am a bit of a worrier in general but it's just hit me so hard out of nowhere, I've had such a lovely pregnancy up until now.