3rd Miscarriage and Losing Hope - June 2024 Thread

[DearDarcy]

Hi all,

First of all apologies for the long post, I don’t really know what to say or how to say it, I’m just at a loss for words at the moment and this is the only place I can write down my thoughts and feelings

I have just had my third miscarriage in 7 months, first one I lost at 5w 5 days and passed on its own, second one was 6 w 1day and passed on its own however this time I thought was finally our time!

Had an early private scan with strong heartbeat at 6 weeks 2 days and we were just beyond happy that this was finally it it was going well, however fast forward 4 weeks ( 10 weeks now) I’ve gone for a reassurance scan and have been told the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks (missed miscarriage this time) and I am just in the depths of sadness.

I did not have any idea or feeling that I may have miscarried at all, no pain or bleeding which makes it even harder, and even harder knowing baby is still in there but not alive :(

I Just wanted to know if anyone has been through 3 before and has gone on to have a successful pregnancy and if so did you ever find out if there was a problem or if what you did next ?

Any words, thoughts and experiences welcome xx

I haven't got any experience (except currently a threatened miscarriage at 5+2) but wanted to say you should now be referred for investigation if they haven't already done so?

I've only got this one experience and it is awful so I'm so sorry for your losses - I am sending you baby dust and positive thoughts xx

So sorry you're going through this. I've just miscarried in almost exactly the same way - good heartbeat at 6 weeks, went back at nearly 10 and baby had stopped growing at 8+6. I had ERPC under general anaesthetic yesterday when I should have been 11+2 (I'd had no bleeding whatsoever and still strong pregnancy symptoms). Have you decided how to manage yours yet? If you opt for ERPC the hospital should have the fetus/placenta sent for genetic testing, since this is your 3rd miscarriage. You should also have blood tests for various things (thyroid/diabetes/clotting issues) - it might be worth referring to Tommies website to check exactly what you're entitled to, in case your hospital aren't very forthcoming.

I've had 4 miscarriages altogether, but also have 3 children so I count myself very lucky. My others were at around 6 weeks, 8 weeks (both happened naturally), and 12 weeks (missed miscarriage). The 12 week one was sent for testing and came back with no genetic issues. Sometimes I think it's just bad luck, sometimes that there must be an underlying issue which makes me more prone....the incredibly frustrating thing about miscarriage is that it's very rare to find out a definitive reason.

Good luck with your recovery.

I'm so sorry, its such an awful thing to be going through.
I had 5mc between my babies, the second is now nearly 3 months old.
First step, you should get a referral for testing via your GP for conditions that may be a factor (hormone profile + thyroid, clotting disorders ect)
Another avenue would be tommies, there is a self funded or referral route which would take longer. I paid and saw Professor Brosens who tests for balance of cells in the uterus and treats based on the findings. It was around £800 when I did this in 2023. I'd recommend giving them a call and seeing what they suggest.
For me it was correcting an underactive thyroid plus treatment for low endometrial receptivity plus progesterone that worked.
Yes it could be bad luck but to be honest by the 3rd time I, like you, was looking for answers and my honest feeling of the past 2 years in our journey is that I had to advocate for myself and not be fobbed off in order to get anywhere with it all.
I truly wish you all the best for your next steps and hope you find some answers. Also see if you can access counselling through the recurrant miscarriage referral, this was a game changer for me for managing anxiety x

@DearDarcy oh bless you.. I feel this so much but I can hopefully provide you some hope.

Last April I had a MMC at 11+4 - baby had stopped developing at 7+5. I then fell pregnant again end of August but it was a CP which I lost at 4+5. I then immediately conceived again but sadly lost that one at 7wks around Halloween (my original due date of the MMC! 😌) - it was a really tough time mentally. I asked to speak to a bereavement midwife and basically cried on her for an hour. We had been referred to the fertility consultant at that point and I was waiting for the appointment to come through. We decided to give ourselves a break so we could try and enjoy Christmas and just get a bit of headspace from it all and also try to get some input from the consultant that would give us something we could do to help the next one to stick. So after the last loss, I stopped tracking and just put TTC as much out of my mind as possible.

The night before my work Christmas party I suddenly realised my period still hadn't come after my last loss and I suddenly had a weird feeling. The morning of the party I thought I'd better do a test to check as I'd be drinking etc. To my absolute shock, a second line came up. Must be honest, my first thought was 'oh great... That's Christmas ruined then' - however, little one was determined. I'm currently at 30+2 and all has been fine this time (very anxious - especially as three instances of spotting/small bleeds up to 14wks) but here we are. Side note, my ovulation is normally pretty regular around CD13-15. I had a big spot on my face around this time which I usually get around peak opk so presumed it had happened as usual despite the pregnancy loss. We DTD for the first time CD17 and CD19 when I (clearly wrongly and naively!) thought we were 'safely' through my fertile window.

I had started CoQ10 in September after the 2nd loss which supposedly improves egg quality after approx 3 months.. so the timing of that could be pertinent. I also took additional vitamin D - extra to my Pregnacare - as I'd heard it can play a role in miscarriage prevention. I was started on progesterone pessaries at 8 weeks after the first bleed, however, this was after the gestation of my previous losses so not sure if it played any part in this one progressing.

Overall it seems pretty random. We never got as far as explorations of reasons for the losses so I'm just grateful this one has worked out.

Go easy on yourself - it is so mentally draining to repeatedly go through loss, particularly in such a condensed timeframe. I would encourage you to see if there is any access to some support locally. Hopefully in a years time things will be looking very different for you. By the time the anniversary of my MMC came round this year I was heavily pregnant and just can't believe the contrasts I've been through in the year since that loss. It's been a real rollercoaster. Try not to give up hope - you never know what's around the corner. Wishing you all the best 💗💗💗