inl's are difficult by nature need to think of new copng strategies

[bigboydiditandranaway]

What are your coping strategies for inl's that are controlling and overbearing, without resulting to laxatives in their tea, although very tempting!

p.s now that i'm pregnant, they seem much worse

mine live an hr away which is good in one way as we can do it in a day, we usually see them every 3wks though

I've got mine coming on my due date from abroad for two weeks.
dreading it as last time took all visiting hours up in hospital, told some non-relative person who i don't even know to visit in hospital (midwife sent her away) and turned up the night we brought dd home from hospital. only been in the house half hour- she burst out crying and went home as i was up stairs breastfeeding and didn't come down for half an hour.

Had blazing row with dp that night!!! nightmare.
Give me some advise please!! I'm finding it really hard to broach subject with partner.
Maybe I was a bit of a bitch but my hormones were everywhere after ecs and b/f worries and I found I hated mil more after dd was born!!!!

I just smile, grit my teeth and bitch like hell about them after they've gone.

i do try to do that PP, but sometimes i don't know if i'll have any teeth left

mil huffs at things a say/do that she doesn't approve of or asks everytime about something we've decided on almost like if she asks long enough we will finally cave in to what they want

Fil means well sometimes but is so overbearing especially with dc, just winds him up the whole time so i can't even say anything to himor when i do fil tries to butt in.

Thanks sazzles I wish i had done that now! My mum is looking after my dd when i go into labour. MIL thought i was having a section and I think she assumed she would just look after dd with dp! She seemed shocked when I told her hoping for a vbac!! Thanks for the advice I WILL definatly let her know I need time and space!!!!!

this is the only topic my DH and I have regular sticky moments - PIL. He will not hear a word against them. As they refuse to hear anything I say (ok, I am a wimp around them and would never be as honest as I want so it is all sugar coated beyond hope), I have to get DH to "adjust" potential calamaties. My way round it is to think of reasons why it would not be a good time for them to visit/stay at our house/stay for so long!! Bit sneaky but it works.
They live abroad and tell us not ask us when it comes to booking flights for visits. Once they booked for two weeks - one either side of a long planned house move! I suggested that they would find it so uncomfortable surrounded by boxes, we would not have the time to entertain them as well as we would want, not fair on the children to give up their room etc etc - rather than the honest "OMG - they want to stay WHEN??!!!!" that I had to swallow back. Same with the staying for the week baby is due - rather than all the car parking fees back and forth to the hospital and having to share a house with all the inevitable visitors (my family) and the initial upheaval, much nicer for them to spend quality time in a couple of weeks when the rush has calmed down and they have "got us all to themselves" also managed to pull off a huge coup by suggesting they stayed in a nearby B and B so that they got a good nights sleep (lol) as I would be so upset and stressed out if I thought we were constantly disturbing an elderly couple every hour or so..
Be creative, think of genuinely good reasons from their angle why not to stay with you and perhaps give you the inital couple of days to youself. When honesty won?t work, go with empathy