Second trimester - does the anxiety ever go?

[Anny2020]

Is anyone else in their second trimester and still filled with worry? I had a MMC last year and I think it’s impacting on this pregnancy.

I’m 17 weeks and worried about movement. I felt some flutterings on and off for the last couple of weeks but they can be very few and far between. I also don’t feel particularly ‘bumpy’ yet, and apart from sore boobs (and good nails!) I wouldn’t really know I was pregnant.

I think I naively expected pregnancy after a good 12 week scan to become a walk in the park following the anxiety of the first trimester and it isn’t. Am I alone in this or do other people feel the same way?

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
Mine was an IVF pregnancy, baby is now 9 weeks old. I had a textbook pregnancy with absolutely no symptoms or issues but I had anciety from the day I found out I was pregnant until I was holding him in my arms.
It was only after about 24 weeks when I started to feel him move did I begin to enjoy it a little. I still have severe anxiety but the further along I got the more I started to enjoy the pregnancy.
Like you I would panic over every flutter/lack of movement and pretty much anything and everything I could possibly worry about.
You wouldn’t be alone in feeling this way, hopefully it will get easier as time goes on.

If it helps, 17 weeks is still pretty early to be feeling much movement. I am currently 23 weeks and think it was only around 21 weeks I really started noticing my baby moving regularly (and even then it's mostly at specific times of day/when I'm sat down quietly). I think when you get to the stage where you are feeling them more often it will potentially give some reassurance. It's definitely helped me!

I also only felt movement at 21 weeks. My placenta is anterior, which was identified at the scan so might be something to do with that. I'm already nervous about when I need to start observing a pattern of movement and checking for reduced movement.

I was just discussing this with DH we are more anxious now after 20 weeks as we feel we've seen her and got attached to her! It doesn't help that I normally manage my anxiety by running long distances and I'm not able to do that currently.

Sorry you're going through this and you're definitely not alone!

OP I really understand your anxiety. After having a MC 31 years ago I just didn’t trust my body! My really anxious pregnancy is now30 with her own child .
I literally worried right up until she was born. I wasn’t told where placenta was but I never felt any proper kicks and was at the hospital regularly for checks !
2nd and 3rd were so different but even with them I didn’t feel strong movements until about 20 weeks .

I’m 33+5 today and this is my first baby at 39. My anxiety hasn’t got any better throughout my pregnancy. If I don’t feel her kick within 2 hours I’m having a meltdown. If I get a headache or feel ill I panic.
My pregnancy has been hard and high risk due to age and BMI, then got GD, injecting insulin and now blood thinners as my baby is apparently 98th percentile. That isn’t helping my anxiety.
I think anyone in their right mind who has been through it before falling pregnant or is going through it whilst pregnant has a right to feel anxious. Just know you aren’t alone and it’s completely normal.
Finally congratulations and I wish you the best x

Thanks everyone! It really helps hearing everyone’s experiences.

@SH998 congrats on your baby, such lovely news and gives a lot of hope!

thanks @malimoon it must be so reassuring feeling proper movements now. I know they can come a bit later after 20 weeks but this time feels like such a limbo!

@Happyharper I think I would feel the same about worrying about how much movement / how regular it is. I can see me being the same but hopefully those kicks are all the reassurance you need!

@Nopetynoppy thats lovely to hear! I guess pregnancy is a worry from start to finish (and then when they’re here!) so I need to get used to it.

@AimeeLou84 thank you, sorry to hear you’re still experiencing anxiety and had a hard time of it. Good luck with everything, only a little bit longer to go now!

Can it also be normal to feel like there’s not much of a bump? Or some days it’s a bit firm, other days it gets squashy?

For me I felt much better after the 20 week anatomy scan.

I worried throughout my pregnancies. Then I worried throughout their childhoods. 🤷‍♀️ They’re teens and early twenties now and the anxiety has almost stopped. Almost.

🍷

That’s good to hear. How had you felt before that scan? Some days I feel like I’ve not got a bump, and it can be like I don’t even feel pregnant.

Currently 30 weeks after 4 miscarriages and IVF and honestly - still worried! I do think the worry improved when I could consistently feel him… daily reassurance he was OK, a bit like the ‘high’ you get on scan days! That was around 26 weeks for me… best of luck!

@Anny2020 my bump does change size - it gets bigger as the day goes on and i think also depending on where he is/what position he's in so i wouldn't worry about that. it's also got much more noticeable in the last few weeks so again i think hopefully as time progresses you'll have more movement, more of a bump and you'll feel that reassurance more regularly. it's just an anxious time though, i think we all have so much hope and excitement invested in the baby and of course you can't actually see them to check they're okay!