Looking for reassurance

[babycandy]

I’m 14 weeks pregnant and I split up with my partner last night.

im currently unwell with hives from my neck to my ankles.

Why did I split with him? I realised that this man never factors in my feelings at all.

He cheated on me earlier in the relationship by taking a woman from Plenty Of Fish out on a date. He's never once took me on a date, and he didn’t say sorry to me for this. Just reasons why he did what he did which were that he did nothing wrong.

It was me that told him that he needs to apologise to the woman as she thought he was single. He didn’t offer so much as a sorry to me.

Fast forward and I recently had my 40th. Didn’t buy me a present nor do anything for my birthday. I had to ask him to take me for dinner, and I paid half of it.

More currently, I’m unwell and had agreed to meet him for lunch and I drove out of my way after a morning at work and he left me sitting for two hours before arriving and telling me that him and his colleague went elsewhere and had lunch. No call, no message, no nothing.

Later that day, I drove the 30 mile round trip to get him from work. By this point me and my son were exhausted from our day and he didn’t show up so I drove off. He eventually turned up 45 minutes late as I got a missed call to see where I was.

Other things he had said were things like “don’t you ever shut the fuck up in bed?” When we were having sex.

Looking up women selling dresses on Facebook Marketplace and screenshotting crotches and saving them on his phone.

I split up from him and he showed no emotion at all, and the first thing he did was put a humiliating post up on Facebook about me dumping him.

I haven’t even told my family or friends by this point, and he’s broadcast it in the worst possible way to our work colleagues, friends and family.

Now I’m 14 weeks, ill and can’t stop crying because I really loved him but I felt like he was taking away any self confidence I had.

Im scared of being 40, pregnant and alone. Please can someone give me reassurance on my dire situation please x

Firstly congratulations on the pregnancy sounds like you’re doing really well!

There will be no-one replying to your message on here that will tell you any different I guarantee it. But you were absolutely right to split up with him.

This man sounds utterly awful, disrespectful, controlling and selfish. He should be the one driving out of his way to meet you not the other way around. Just disgraceful the way he’s treating you.

You will be absolutely fine without him, better in fact. I know you say you love him but I’m sure if you bring yourself back to all those moments like you describe does he actually make you feel loved?

It will be an adjustment to start but surround yourself with friends and family and concentrate on you, your son and your baby.

You need to ask yourself this.. when your children grow up and start their own relationships, if you found out they were being treated like you are by their partner what would your advice be to them and I think you know the answer.

You have been strong an enough to say to this guy no more enough is enough. Stay strong and you will be absolutely fine xx

Hey hun. Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy! Secondly congratulations for getting rid of him. I know it might not seem it now, but 6 months down the line or maybe when baby comes along, you’ll realise you’ve made the best decision of your life and that you didn’t need him in it making it unhappy. He sounds weird (taking pictures of womens crotches in dresses) and so immature. The poor woman who he catches next!
Try talking to your family and be open and honest about him. Get the support you need and any reassurance. You’ve made the first big step of telling him where to go, your entitled to be down and sad as you loved him, but you need to love yourself, your son and your new baby more. That’s all that is and will ever be important. Take care of yourself xx