Not telling sister before 12 weeks

[New2024newname]

I’m 11 weeks pregnant! I’ve been very anxious about the risk of miscarriage ever since my BFP. Got a private scan at 9 weeks (everything good 😊) , which meant I finally relaxed a bit, and DH and I told parents and a few close friends. Still aware that nothing is guaranteed and plan to wait until 12 week scan and all clear on genetic testing for a wider announcement. Our thinking is not to tell anyone now who we wouldn’t tell about a miscarriage/TFMR.

My sister is staying with my parents this week, and they’ve suggested I should tell her. I think basically because they want to talk about the exciting news with her. We’re really not close at all- see each other a few times a year at family events but don’t have much of a relationship otherwise. I don’t think DPs realise how little we have to do with each other (DSis is quite self-involved and socially unaware, and thinks and acts like we have a normal sibling relationship, while I’ve distanced myself over the years).

Is it fair for me to say to DPs “sorry, not telling DSis, you’ll have to keep shtum”? We did make clear it was not public info when we told them after the 9 week scan.

Having had a TFMR myself, and a miscarriage, not at ALL unreasonable. It’s your private medical information and your choice who you tell. This is regardless of TFMR or not, no one should feel pressured or obligated to disclose medical information.

My inlaws did this and it made the pregnancy so stressful.

Sorry for your losses @EricHebbornInItaly , and thank you for the reassurance. My gut told me this was totally reasonable but the fact they even suggested it made me question.

Don't tell until you feel comfortable, it's up to you. I had a 20 week loss last year. I won't be telling anyone, including family until/if it gets to viability stage past 24 weeks maybe even further. Currently 19 weeks.