29/40 and zero desire

YourSnappyBird · 2024-05-26T13:42:07+00:00

I'm just into the third trimester and have absolutely zero desire to be intimate. It's been this way for 4 months now. I can't see it improving when the baby is born either as I'm sure I will be very busy with baby! I feel terrible about it but just don't want to be touched and have no interest in any kind of physical intimacy. I don't have any feeling of "this might hurt the baby" so it's nothing like that. This is all really weird for me because physical touch is my primary love language. Anyone else experience this? When did it get better?!

Mrsttcno1 · 26/05/2024 15:00

Honestly I felt a bit like this while pregnant once I had a big bump, I think part of it for me (especially once baby was kicking me 24/7) was that I was already sharing my body with baby, I wasn’t in the mood to share it with anybody else as well😂 But I was always just quite tired and run down so I didn’t really have the energy! I have to say I’m 5 weeks postpartum now and from literally 1 week postpartum my sex drive is back, although we haven’t had sex yet because I had an episiotomy and a tear so waiting for my 6 week check! So it does get better! X

Original poster

YourSnappyBird · 26/05/2024 15:34

Mrsttcno1 · 26/05/2024 15:00

Honestly I felt a bit like this while pregnant once I had a big bump, I think part of it for me (especially once baby was kicking me 24/7) was that I was already sharing my body with baby, I wasn’t in the mood to share it with anybody else as well😂 But I was always just quite tired and run down so I didn’t really have the energy! I have to say I’m 5 weeks postpartum now and from literally 1 week postpartum my sex drive is back, although we haven’t had sex yet because I had an episiotomy and a tear so waiting for my 6 week check! So it does get better! X

Thanks @Mrsttcno1 I'm also knackered all the time which doesn't help. Good to know hope is on the horizon. Wishing you speedy recovery xx

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Silverfoxlady · 26/05/2024 15:35

Yes, feeling the same. Even the cat needs to leave my personal space.

AimeeLou84 · 26/05/2024 15:37

I’m 32+4 and have had zero desire for months now. Not only because I feel like it might hurt the baby (stupid I know) but I’m bloody exhausted too!

Original poster

YourSnappyBird · 26/05/2024 15:44

Silverfoxlady · 26/05/2024 15:35

Yes, feeling the same. Even the cat needs to leave my personal space.

😥I can cope with the dog... I just feel spectacularly unsexual. My partner says lovely things and he's not pushed the topic which is a relief!

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Original poster

YourSnappyBird · 26/05/2024 15:50

AimeeLou84 · 26/05/2024 15:37

I’m 32+4 and have had zero desire for months now. Not only because I feel like it might hurt the baby (stupid I know) but I’m bloody exhausted too!

Good to know we're not alone. Hopefully like @Mrsttcno1 shared, things will return to normal (ish!) post birth. Hugs 🤗

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WeightoftheWorld · 26/05/2024 15:56

We barely had sex through any of my pregnancies and not at all for the first 9 ISH months of both of my kids life! I just did not want to, for all manner of different reasons at different points. It all 'came back' when I was ready each time fine.

Original poster

YourSnappyBird · 26/05/2024 16:33

WeightoftheWorld · 26/05/2024 15:56

We barely had sex through any of my pregnancies and not at all for the first 9 ISH months of both of my kids life! I just did not want to, for all manner of different reasons at different points. It all 'came back' when I was ready each time fine.

That's exactly what I've said too, I just don't want to. And I don't know when I will want to. I suppose I expected it to be somewhat like this post-birth for some period of time, I never thought it would be so immediately post-conception too!

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remaininghopeful23 · 26/05/2024 20:11

It's so frustrating. I'm 32 weeks and aware it's only going to get worse once baby is actually here, with the no sleep and recovery of course. I don't have any advice just sympathising as in the same boat! I don't even have a reason, I don't feel nervous to do it and I'm actually enjoying how my body looks/feeling proud of it. Just have zero desire and I'm utterly exhausted most days. I worried about this early on as intimacy is very important to me and in the very early weeks I avoided due to a previous miscarriage playing on my mind. But since like 9/10 weeks I had a great drive and didn't lose interest at all. Until about 30 weeks that is. So many changes in our bodies we just don't have control of.

Original poster

YourSnappyBird · 27/05/2024 19:26

remaininghopeful23 · 26/05/2024 20:11

It's so frustrating. I'm 32 weeks and aware it's only going to get worse once baby is actually here, with the no sleep and recovery of course. I don't have any advice just sympathising as in the same boat! I don't even have a reason, I don't feel nervous to do it and I'm actually enjoying how my body looks/feeling proud of it. Just have zero desire and I'm utterly exhausted most days. I worried about this early on as intimacy is very important to me and in the very early weeks I avoided due to a previous miscarriage playing on my mind. But since like 9/10 weeks I had a great drive and didn't lose interest at all. Until about 30 weeks that is. So many changes in our bodies we just don't have control of.

😥it really is. Sorry to hear about your earlier miscarriage, I imagine that's a real extra worry. I think the no control bit is hard as well. Gives me anxiety too, I suppose it's the not knowing what will happen or when and if/when it might go back to normal again.

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Mrsttcno1 · 27/05/2024 22:46

remaininghopeful23 · 26/05/2024 20:11

It's so frustrating. I'm 32 weeks and aware it's only going to get worse once baby is actually here, with the no sleep and recovery of course. I don't have any advice just sympathising as in the same boat! I don't even have a reason, I don't feel nervous to do it and I'm actually enjoying how my body looks/feeling proud of it. Just have zero desire and I'm utterly exhausted most days. I worried about this early on as intimacy is very important to me and in the very early weeks I avoided due to a previous miscarriage playing on my mind. But since like 9/10 weeks I had a great drive and didn't lose interest at all. Until about 30 weeks that is. So many changes in our bodies we just don't have control of.

Please try not to worry too much about it being worse once baby is here! I also thought that but honestly I’m just over 5 weeks postpartum and for the last 4 have felt back to normal, if I hadn’t of had an episiotomy and torn we would definitely have had sex by now! Everyone is different but just to say it’s absolutely not guaranteed to be worse when baby is here x