Should I give breastfeeding one last try

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I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with 4th (and probably last) baby and would like to give breastfeeding one last try with this baby but Ive had zero success with all previous babies. I'm very much a 'fed is best' mindset, and not sure if I should even bother trying breastfeeding this time. DD1- struggled for 8 weeks through bad latch due to tongue tie, supply issues, PND, tried to get help from midwives, health visitors, local breastfeeding support group but it just never worked out.
DS1- He also had a slight tongue tie and I struggled to get a good latch and was in incredible pain every time that I tried to feed him that it became distressing for him and me.
DD2- Tried again as she had no tongue tie but by the third time I tried to feed her while still in hospital i literally had blood blisters on my nipple's and the pain took me back to DS and it put me off completely.
I've tried all the different positions for breastfeeding and have been told countless times that being small breasted doesn't matter but I just don't know what I've been doing wrong each time

Why don’t you wait and see how you feel when the time arrives and just take it one feed at a time, no pressure.

“I just don't know what I've been doing wrong each time“

Nothing. The answer is nothing. Breastfeeding just doesn’t work for some people and you should never feel guilty for doing the right thing, which can be to stop.

It sounds like you are wanting to give it another try knowing it’s your last, but if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work and you shouldn’t be asking yourself what you did wrong. Trying to breastfeed though is a very emotional thing, especially with those raging hormones as your milk comes in. By all means try again if this is something that is really important to you, but given you’ve had three who have ended up bottle fed, you know yourself that bottle feeding is also a perfectly nutritious choice for an infant, and if they end up on the bottle, so be it.

Yes give it a go but don't put any pressure on yourself .
I was really disappointed when DC1 was born early by C-section. He struggled to feed and was jaundiced so I ended up topping up with formula then after around 6 weeks fully FF.
The was really determined it would work with DS2, had lots of support from midwives and lactation consultants. I ended up with an infection and had to take x3 antibiotics a day plus beta blockers for migraines. I decided to stop BF after 2 weeks as no one could assure me the drugs wouldn't pass into my breast milk.
I was really upset at the time but they're 8 and 12 now and honestly you wouldn't know whether they were breast or formula fed! They are both bright, healthy, happy kids. I don't even give it a second thought even though it was a huge deal at the time.
Honestly it really won't matter so just do what you need to do.

My advice would be to get real support, unfortunately this may mean going private. IBCLCs are worth their weight in gold. I’ve seen them transform a Mum’s breastfeeding experience countless times in my job. Sometimes it’s very small tweaks to positioning and latch that make all of the difference. A deep, effective latch shouldn’t result in sore and bleeding nipples, this is caused by a shallow latch (which isn’t your fault if you’ve not been shown how to get a deep latch!).

Midwives, unless having a special interest in breastfeeding, usually get very little training in breastfeeding support. And health visitors even less so. My HV actually sat on the sofa opposite me in my living room to do her breastfeeding “assessment” and wrote down in my red book that my son was feeding well. She could only see the back of my son’s head!

I’ve included a picture that demonstrates the difference between a shallow and deep latch. It can be tricky to get right yourself which is why I’d strongly recommend getting some skilled support.

If you'd like to have another try and it's important to you, then do.

I'd suggest going along to a local breastfeeding support group whilst you're pregnant and having a chat with their team about your previous experiences. I'd also chat to your midwife about expressing colostrum whilst pregnant, and have a read of the Positive Breastfeeding Book too. Finally I'd have a chat with your partner and family about your intentions and what you'd need from them to help with this, like taking the load with the older kids whilst you're trying to get feeding established.

You can do it. I had 3 very short breastfeeding journeys with my first three, each time stopping because of the pain. Then got pregnant with twins which I'm still currently breastfeeding at 23 months. What I did differently this time was getting a private lactation consultant to come see me within the first week, definitely worth the money

I would.

i really, really struggled with DS1. I couldn’t get him to latch, feeding was agony, absolute agony, I got mastitis when he was 10 days old and the locus GP said for heavens sake give him a bottle.

so I did and it was a blessed relief. He didn’t really keep the formula down though and I went back to the GP two days later for his 2-week check, and this time it was my GP who has had kids herself, and she asked if I’d tried feeding him lying down (this was because by this time my boobs were like rocks because I’d stopped feeding so suddenly with mastitis too). She said that it was much easier to make sure he latched properly and you don’t have to be so coordinated. She also said use lansinoh on nipples.

i went home and tried it and it worked, and was even more of a blessed relief as ds fed and fed and then slept properly, I got some rest and healed, and then I ditched the bottles. I breastfed my other dc too.

so it’s worth one last try. What have you got to lose?

It does bloody hurt, for the first 6 weeks. Your nipples will be cracked and bleeding. Use lanolin. Then it suddenly clicks and is much better and pain free. I think you just have to go through the process of toughening up the skin tbh.

Breastfed 4; never without pain for the first few weeks. It does suddenly get immeasurably better and is then painfree.

Hi Op

I had about a week of blistering nips with DS but once we got through it breastfeeding has been great. Don’t get me wrong it’s hard work..but I’m sure bottle feeding is too! I understand that the pain put you off due to previous experience but if you can push through for a short amount of time it’s worth it. The midwife also advised me to buy nipple shields which I didn’t get around to using but if the pain is too much I think they are supposed to be good :)

why don’t you just approach it with a no pressure type attitude, give it a go but if it doesn’t work out so what!

My experience is it takes about 6 weeks to establish breastfeeding, for me, up until that point it's cracked nipples/bad latches/lazy suckling etc I've seen a lot of people say the same thing on here. But 6 weeks is a long time when you're sleep deprived and in pain while feeding a million times a day.
Do what works for you!

I would say it’s definitely having support in place before baby arrives, so establishing your support while pregnant. Would you consider a doula? Mine was an amazing support throughout pregnancy, birth and postnatal period.

Definitely this for my first. With my second it was more like two weeks. But definitely a lot of gritting my teeth and being stubborn. We ended up getting 3 and a bit years with my daughter and still going now at 3 and a bit years with my son, so it was very worth it. But yes, those first few weeks were hard, and it would have been easy to call it a day if I wasn’t so stubbornly determined.

Try if you feel like it when the time comes, don't if you don't. I will say though that all of your babies did get the benefits of some colostrum which is great, even the one you breastfed for the least.

It is bloody hard though and it doesn't always work out and if you just don't want to, that is perfectly fine too and formula is a fine alternative.

Thank you everyone for being so encouraging yet so kind, I always wanted to do it for all of them and I felt such guilt and disappointment when I couldn't, even though no one around me judged me for not continuing. I think it was a pressure which I put on myself which was tough on my already hormonal, emotional post natal mind when it didn't work out. Anyway, there are some great suggestions and advice on here that I'm definitely going to look further into, if it all works out great, if not, I know it's not the end of the world as I'll have a lovely, healthy baby and that's all that matters.

Breastfeeding doesn't work for everyone.

I really struggled. Nipple shields helped with the pain and feeding pillow with the latch.
I couldn't feed the baby regardless of the positions I tried unless she was on the feeding pillow... very strange.

I'd give it another go. Get some nipple shields to help with the early pain, also apply preemptive nipple cream, and find a BF support group near you that you can attend after baby is born. There are also private lactation consultants if you're willing to pay.

It's not easy but with the right expertise and support most people can turn things around.

Nipple shields aren’t the solution to nipple pain. Nipple pain is caused (majority of the time) by an incorrect latch, which using a shield does nothing to help.

I found it to be a pain for 4 weeks - pain/ assuming supply issues. My sister who has a child 4 months older, ordered me to persevere. Said it's not a walk in the park, that hard things are worth fighting for. After week 5, supply was established - your body learns how much to produce through regular exposure to baby. This takes a few weeks. Plus milk is different in nutrients every day because the baby's saliva tells your body what it needs it to produce. Turned out to be so easy after initial 5 weeks, cheap, convenient (no sterilising/ bottle cleaning, f**k that shit!) It was hard to introduce the bottle though when it was time to go back to work at 6 months. But then weaning started anyway.

See how you get on but would you consider expressing as well?

I really wanted to breastfeed but by day 4 or 5 it just wasn’t working so we moved to formula. I also starting expressing though to see if I could bring my supply in and it’s going quite well. I’m able to do one or two bottles a day of breast milk in addition to he formula feeds now after a few days of expressing. The only thing that’s been difficult is the time it takes so now I know it works I’ve ordered those pumps that you can wear in your bra so I can just get on with my day.

I was a bit worried that the midwives would try to force me to try breastfeeding again but they’ve all been great and are just happy baby is being fed and we’re not stressed out.

For me nipple shields meant I continued to BF through the initial pain while I searched for support. Agree they don't solve the cause of pain, but they do give much needed relief and buy you some time to find the cause of the issue.

In my case the shields also helped my flat nipples be more 'out' to actually help baby latch. If my friend hadn't given the shields to me so that I had them in the house when I needed them, I swear I'd have given up due to the pain.

I personally think they're a cheap and easy 'just in case' purchase, basically a no brainer. I had no issues weaning from the shields either, I just made sure to express by hand afterwards to ensure breasts were empty as they aren't as effective as a good latch or pump.

I wouldn’t
It’s pressure you can do without when you already have 3 other children to look after.

I breastfed all 3 of mine, the first 6 weeks is the hardest, i found it so painful with my first two, not with my 3rd, I think that was because she was a bigger baby, she was able to open her mouth wider, my second baby was so small, his mouth just didn’t seem to open wide enough to latch properly. I honestly should have stopped in the beginning with my first two, I put so much unnecessary pressure on myself and just suffered through the pain, it was so depressing. You can give it a go but don’t put any expectations on yourself, if it works it works if it doesn’t it’s no big deal.

This is really weird but I actually found the African breastfeeding instruction videos best on YouTube.

No idea how I found them but they use real babies and real breasts and really go over and over from different angles the technique in real life.

Really I was lucky in that I got a deep latch first time. I think if you accept a poor latch in the first couple of breastfeeds then you’re pretty screwed. I had midwives checking I think second or third feed and they saw him latch and were going that’s fine! And I was like no! That’s not as deep as he did first time. Took him off again and again until he went as deep as the first time.

So Nose to nipple and if it hurts take off straight away!

I would try. Even if it doesn’t work out the first few days is when the baby gets a lot of the important benefits. I combi fed my last baby but I only did 1 bottle a day, my dh gave at night which really helped.i didn’t have any supply issues despite this but appreciate everyone is different.
also for me nipple shields were a game changer. Apparently they can affect your supply but in my case they didn’t at all. My nipples were so sore I couldn’t have managed without them and in fact the health visitor suggested them.

I found it to be a great solution for me. Helped with latch and the pain