When to tell manager

[Bluesea14]

Hi all,

I need some advice on when to tell my manager I'm pregnant. ( due around Xmas)
Ideally I would tell him after the 12 week scan, however he will be on a long holiday from 11 weeks to 17 weeks. So I can either tell him when I'm 10 weeks ( which I don't feel too comfortable with as I am a high risk pg) or I can say at 17 weeks when we returns.
I can't decide which one is better. 10 weeks seems early but 17 seems even worse. Helpppp :(

Can you not just give them a phonecall soon after your 12w scan?

The rule of thumb is you must inform your employer at the end of the 15th week before due date (25 weeks) so you're well within that at 17 weeks, so I'd do that if it was me.

I told my manager at 18 weeks and that was fine (we had a higher risk result at the combined screening and then an additional scan at 16 weeks so I ended up wanting to wait for that; fortunately, everything is looking good now). You aren't required to tell until around 23 weeks iirc so 17 weeks ought to be okay and I would think the manager would understand if they have been away that you didn't necessarily have a lot of options! Is anybody covering his absence?

I told mine at 6 weeks, she knew I had a miscarriage last year and I was feeling so awful this time I needed to work from home for first trimester. My opinion is that I would have told if I'd had a MC again, so why not just tell her I was pregnant in the first place. There's no 'safe' point of pregnancy. Are you having any private scans before 12 weeks? You could have one at 9/10 weeks and then tell them, if all OK.

I wouldn't feel comfortable calling someone while they are on holiday

Glad to hear :) no, there is no cover during their leave. X

Oh sorry I misread and thought it was you having the long holiday!
I think if it were me I would just drop them an email during that time, not much else you can do if there's no-one covering them and I think they are probably likely to check emails occasionally in that time.

So sorry to hear about your mc. I had a scan last week at 7 weeks ( due to bleeding) so the next one will be my 12 ish week scan x

I told mine at 4 weeks due to having to have duties changed at work and risk assessments

Just thinking more about this - if the manager will need to arrange cover etc there's probably not loads they can do while they're away on holiday (I'd be surprised if they had time to set up a new job ad etc before they went) so there's probably not loads of advantage for them in knowing at 10/11 weeks rather than 17 weeks anyway. So if I were you I'd probably wait until they get back and then explain the circumstances. But really, you don't need to worry or apologise as you do have plenty more weeks than that before you're required to notify them, so you're really giving plenty of extra notice.

I would just say now. When I had a miscarriage I said anyway as I needed some time off so for me there was no reason not to say I was pregnant in the first place.

This is kind of what I'm thinking! he has enough on his plate without me breaking the news and ruining his holiday.

I'm a really private person as well so I wouldn't want my manager knowing if anything was to happen. ESP when my family don't know yet.

argh, such bad timing haha x x

what is the nature of your job ? as its important to get your risk assessments done early and reviewed each trimester

administration. I work from home xx

Can you escalate it to your manager’s manager? Say you don’t feel comfortable disturbing his holiday so have informed them instead?

If you're a high risk pregnancy, you could potentially tell your manager in confident before he goes so your pregnancy risk assessment can be done and any reasonable adjustments made. Explain your concerns and the need to keep it in confidence just in case things don't go well

have you got a work phone number you can text them (plus email) while they are away? Personally I’d probably tell at 10 weeks as if anything was to go wrong, you will want/need some time off.

I didn't tell my boss until after my 5 month scan 🤣 ah the joys of working from home and having a boss who never really bothered popping in to see my team when we were in. I mainly waited because I'd had 2 losses previously so wanted to get the 20 week scan out of the way first. Don't feel you have to rush to tell them. As long as you do it before the cut off, do it in your own time.

Is this a very small company? If so, just tell him at 17 weeks, especially if you wfh.

Just tell them at 17 weeks, it's literally not a big deal at all.

I would just tell him when he gets back. Plenty of time to get things organised.

But I would encourage you to tell him if you have a miscarriage too. I didn’t. I hid it and nobody realised the trauma I was going through. Looking back I regret that decision.

I wouldn't do either, if your manager isn't around I would wait till the 12 week scan and then tell HR or their manager in their absence.

I would be hesitant about telling them on their return as in my maternity pay contract I had to tell them by 15 weeks to qualify for the 12 weeks full pay my company offer. Obviously this will be different for every company though as you legally in the UK have up till week 25 to I form them, but this was a condition of the my company to get the full pay so may be worth looking into.

Hi, congrats on your pregnancy :) as someone else said, the rule is you have to tell them in the 15th week before your due date, so you have time. But remember that until you tell them you are pregnant, you are not entitled to paid time off work for antenatal care - scans, appointments etc. If you simply went for an appointment during work time it would probably get put down as unpaid leave.