Alone at 7 and a half months

[heavytohold]

Hi all,
I recently started a thread on relationships about my partner who I still, sadly, love with all my heart, breaking up with me at seven and a half months pregnant to sleep with other women, including the woman he cheated on me with at the very beginning of our relationship (now I know for over a year). We have just moved into a house in Liverpool, away from my support system in Yorkshire and I am alone and pregnant with our son feeling utterly racked with guilt that I've already failed to give him the start to life he deserves.
He told me I'm his best friend and he still cares about me and loves me and I chose to want to believe this at the start, but now I see that for what it is- just another lie.
I don't really have any friends and a commenter pointed me in the direction of this board and let me know there may be other women in similar situations over here, or who have been in similar situations in the past. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone wants to chat about their situation, feel less isolated and alone, discuss fears and heartaches. I'm not really sure... I guess I've never been this frightened and lonely and wanted to see if anyone out there is feeling the same

you need to get yourself back to yorkshire
and sharpish

It's really important they you move back to where your family are before the baby is born because he might be able to stop you going afterwards.

Yes I plan to get back ASAP. It took a bit of convincing for my parents to agree to have me back temporarily, they don't want me there when baby arrives so need to find some alternative living arrangement by then too which is really overwhelming

Ok so this needs to squarely be your focus
you don’t have long
forget him
and start focussing entirely on the move back

what is your living situation in liverpool?

Don’t feel you have let your baby down. Lots of children grow up with parents who aren’t together. You can give your child everything he needs.
Moving home’s a good plan. Although they don’t want you living there, will your parents support you? And do you have friends?
Once baby is here, go to mum and baby groups and give them a good try. The friends you make will be a lifesaver.
Good luck 🌷

I'm a single mum though that was my choice. Trust me that it's a million times better this has happened now rather than when you were struggling with a newborn

Babies are hard work (but worth it) and he was clearly always going to bail

Go home - work out your own financial position (do you work ? Understand benefits etc)

Tell your midwife so they can make sure you get all the support going from health visitor etc when the baby arrives

You should still offer him the opportunity to have a relationship with his child (for the child's sake) but you can have more control over how this happens

He will still need to financially contribute for his child once they arrive

You can do this and take this time to think about yourself and your child

Not in this situation but I am the product of a situation where my mother was left on her own with nobody to help I didn't know my father till I was 10 . Can I just say I was a very very happy child I was very content just me and my mam that I never realised I should have a father . Sounds silly but it never occurred occured to me that everyone else did and that I didn't ... my mother was everything and although tough on her yes it never affected me. I think it is very important you live back to where your support system is, the father has made his choice and now you need to look after yourself and your baby. The baby comes first not the father.

Glad to hear you're planning to get back to a support network. Been in a similar position, moved at 8 months, was definitely the right choice.

Oh, and don't take him back when he realises what he's lost. Been there, not a good decision.

Absolutely get back to Yorkshire before the baby is born, otherwise you will be trapped. Can you register for emergency housing? I know that’s not a quick fix and the waiting lists are long but best to get on the list asap. Do you have any savings for housing deposits and to support yourself?
forget about him for now, don’t think about how guilty you are this isn’t perfect, you need to make the best out of the situation you are in for your baby right now. That means sorting the logistics so that once the baby is here you have a support network around you, your MH is the best it can be (and that doesn’t have to mean perfect! It’s a work in progress!) and you can build on everything else from there.

So a bit of practical advice. Move back to parents asap, early part of this week if possible. Use a man and van service so you're not lifting any boxes etc.

Have you money to for deposit and roughly 6 months rent? Call estate agents and let them know you need somewhere you can move into straight away.

No money? Contact Yorkshire homeless housing office, I don't know which part of Yorkshire you're in but for example north yorks...
www.northyorks.gov.uk/housing-and-homelessness/homelessness

If your parents are adamant they won't let you stay there with baby, get them to write a letter stating that so you can take it to housing to support your application.