Is pregnancy this hard the whole 9 months?

[AmyLeigh93]

I am pregnant for the first time and am 10 weeks. The first trimester has not been kind to me and I’ve struggled with 24/7 nausea which has really affected my mental health as I’ve not been able to leave the house much. The nausea is finally starting to ease (I hope) but I generally feel rubbish. I’m absolutely shattered despite naps, I feel bloated and uncomfortable with body changes already happening and feel generally run down. My question is - does it really get better as the second trimester hits? I feel like I’m not enjoying this very wanted pregnancy after a long road of IVF and I can’t imagine feeling better. I think I just need a few positive stories to pep me up a bit. Sorry if this is an obvious question but I worry constantly.

Yes it’s gets easier. Second trimester is usually the best. Third can be hard going in a different way.

Yes, in my experience the nausea, bloating and constant fatigue eased off around 12 weeks with DS and 16 weeks with DD however it is different for every woman

Yes. Both times the first trimester I felt ill - literally like something was sapping my strength leaving me pale, sick and weak. Second trimester MUCH better. Third you don’t feel ill but you get back ache, aching feet, the bump makes it harder to sleep etc

I would happily have done labour a second time if I could have skipped the first trimester.

You’re almost through the worst op, hang in there!

My experience was very like yours for the first trimester. Second trimester, I actually felt great, proper blooming! Then third trimester started to get tired and uncomfortable, especially in the last month. So, completely common pregnancy.

Wait until that second trimester glow! It's different for everyone. But when you start feeling baby move and you are all sorts of happy, honestly it does get better. 3rd it gets uncomfortable however there your last moments of you and baby before anyone else can get there mits on baby! It's a wild ride pregnancy, but worth it all xx

@AmyLeigh93 first of all congratulations on your baby news 🙂 i Just wanted to say you're not alone.. I am currently pregnant with my second baby and this time has been horrendous for me the whole way through. First trimester I was sick, constant nausea & my MH was awful. I got a few weeks of feeling 'ok' in the 2nd trimester. I am now 31 weeks and Im so miserable & my bump is feeling extra big and sore. I'm also still being sick😩 I am so ready for this baby to come😞
However: my first pregnancy was a walk in the park compared to this. The usual first trimester sickness. Then 2nd trimester was alot better. Third was abit exhausting and had slight discomfort but nothing like this time. I had a girl first time & I'm having a boy this time..

So I know how you're feeling. All I do is cry. I wana be more mobile etc but I know the end is near!!
You can do this Mama💪 Keep thinking of the end result🙂 (easier said than done I know) All the best xx

First trimester is horrific. I used to fall asleep every single day from around 2.30 to 3.30 for 12 weeks straight, was craving hot sauce and vomiting (not a good combo!!), felt so sick all the time. Second trimester was lovely (bar the heartburn). The third trimester was hard but I’m very tiny and was ridiculously uncomfortable.

It’s different for everyone but I felt at my worse around the 10 week mark. After that the nausea seemed to disappear. I had new issues, like constantly needing a wee, and feeling puffy and heavy at the end but the sickness peaked towards the end of trimester one.
Congratulations !

First trimester for me I felt exhausted, second trimester I felt pretty much back to my normal self, third trimester wasn't any worse until the last month or so where I just felt heavy, had lower back pain and struggled to sleep.

Honestly, for me I have just given up on ever getting the pregnancy glow (28 weeks). I find if one symptom goes another starts pretty soon so it’s been hard throughout. I’m just going with as long as baby is healthy and my symptoms are copable with then I can keep pushing through.

Yes it gets better. I felt exactly the same as you until about 16 weeks. Hang on in there! X

Every pregnancy is different. I'm in my second pregnancy (also IVF if that helps). My first was easy, no sickness, plenty of nausea but it was manageable. Honestly the worst bit was indigestion and constant burping which I actually had before conception from the progesterone as part of the IVf and stayed with me up until delivery despite stopping all meds at 12 weeks.

This pregnancy is a totally different story. I had bad sickness and was hospitalised twice in the first trimester as a result. I'm towards the end of my second trimester and whilst it's better than the first (I'm less miserable) I am absolutely exhausted and have quite a lot of pain (pelvic girdle pain) BUT and its a big but, I wouldn't change a thing as soon as baby moves. It's magical and you do kinda forget the bad stuff! My midwife and clinic both reassure me that their is no rhyme or reason as to why some pregnancies are easier or harder than others......they just are!

The IVF journey is hard, even if you are lucky enough to have had a smooth journey through it and conceived quickly it's physically and emotionally hard. You can do this, it might not get 'easier' but it will get different. I didn't feel my first move until I was 23 weeks, this one was early at 16 weeks but no less wonderful. Reach out to your midwife if you are really struggling and get checked for any deficiency or emotional support. The days are long but the weeks are short and you will look back on this time thinking how quickly it went.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, your little miracle. Hold on to that and I wish you a smooth rest of pregnancy.

It's different for everyone. I was sick and nauseous the whole way through all 3 of my pregnancies and never got the 'glow'. I didn't like being pregnant at any point and it was a relief each time I gave birth. I'm eternally grateful that I could have children and carry them to full term but pregnancy just did not agree with me. My children are worth it though.

Thank you everyone it’s really reassuring most have found it gets better. I’m so ready for the glow up. At the moment I feel like a pale little troll hobbling around trying not to gag by looking at the fridge!
Also is it normal to be worrying constantly that something is wrong? I’ve been lucky as I’ve already had two scans through my fertility clinic at 7 and 8.5 weeks so I’ve seen the heartbeat and all was absolutely fine. I have another scan next Friday but I’m always convinced somethings happened even though I’ve got no reason to think that. No pain or bleeding and all my symptoms are going strong.
Also I’m sorry if I sound like I’m moaning! I am incredibly grateful to have fallen pregnant and am beyond happy. I think it’s all caught me by surprise really with how tough this bit actually is!

For me, not really. I had about 4 weeks (20-24) when I felt OK. But pregnancy can be hard going and if you find it is, that’s fine. If it doesn’t get better for you, it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t affect your worth as a mum, it doesn’t mean you don’t (won’t) love your baby. It just means that pregnancy can be harder for some women.

You aren’t going to love every stage of parenthood. Some you are going to love, some you are going to mostly enjoy and some you will hate. That’s OK and normal. Everything is just temporary with kids, they’ve moved on to the next phase before you can blink. You don’t need to feel bad for not enjoying every second of it or even quite large chunks of it.

for me from when I found out till about 17 weeks I felt nauseas alot but cyclizine helped some what, then from 17 weeks the nausea just went what seemed like overnight, im 35 weeks nearly 36 been feeling ok apart from some aches and pains all manageable but I got diagnosed with Gestational diabetes at 34 weeks and been an emotionally draining experience so far, so although physically I feel good, mentally im not so great which I never expected
but the tiredness never went! I still sleep alot but I am also on iron tablets for low iron but my levels are ok now but I still feel shattered its not easy growing a human so be kind to yourself !

Second trimester is better, yes

Third is hard going towards the end

As above. I felt like crap in both pregnancies in first trimester. Fine in second, and was in pain/ill during third. Not long until you should start to feel better :) No way in hell would I go through it a third time though.

Take things as easy as possible OP, it's an endurance race for some and a walk in the park for others and it all depends on your own range and severity of symptoms. Especially for your first when there are so many new things to learn and experience with it. Have you been to your GP to discuss some medication for the sickness? If it continues, I would. It has really helped me this pregnancy. My first pregnancy was during covid and it DRAGGED because there was so little we could do plus I was googling every little worry or query so my head was really melted with it by the end of things. The first trimester for most women is typically the worst in terms of the sickness so fingers crossed it subsides for you and you'll be able to get out and about more soon which will really make a difference.

Probably it will be better! First trimester the baby is basically leeching nutrients from you to build organs etc. That's why it's exhausting.

Later pregnancy is usually better tho there are no guarantees, things like SPD can make it hard.

Just take it one step at a time, after IVF I think you can have high expectations of things being magical. The same goes for newborn days. The reality is, you don't have to like every aspect of motherhood and quite a lot of it is a slog. Just think of it as a journey you're on with all the challenges that implies.

I've known a few IVF mothers struggle with how hard early baby days are, you want it so much then it's knackering and maybe less than magical.

I don't mean to sound gloomy or patronising, just temper your expectations a bit!

In my experience, its hard all the way through but in different ways dependent on the trimester.

I had constant nausea like you (not being sick) for the whole of the first trimester with both pregnancies (currently pregnant with number 2). With my first, I'd say second trimester was fine and then in the third I contended with heartburn, back pain, hip pain, and general aches and pains.

This time round, I've been mildly incontinent (wee) since middle of the first trimester with no sign of it easing, owing to how low I'm carrying. I've also felt much more pregnant this time round, with quite a painful bump and back - although thankfully no heartburn yet. And I don't think I've had a good night's sleep for the last 8 weeks - I'm 28 weeks atm.

No one can predict for you, but I was similar to you in first trimester and since about 13 weeks I’ve felt mostly totally fine. Once you do feel less nausea: focus on a healthy diet and exercise if you can, it’s really helped me. But it’s to be expected, it’s a huge thing for your body to go through, of course it’ll be hard work sometimes

I’m here to say please don’t feel bad if things don’t suddenly get better in the second trimester! I know what you’re looking for is hope - I was exactly the same as my first trimester was horrendous. But when I got to the second trimester I almost felt worse because I didn’t suddenly feel better. I think if I’d had more realistic expectations that it could still be rubbish then I’d have found that easier to deal with. I actually felt really resentful that I wasn’t getting the glow everyone raves about and wondered what I’d done to deserve such a shit pregnancy!

That being said, for me weeks 11-15 were the worst in terms of sickness, nausea and exhaustion. After that the sickness started to ease off - now I’m 21 weeks and only being sick about once a week, which is completely manageable. I’ve already got lots of the aches and pains more associated with the third trimester, so my body seems to sort of skipped the best bit, but in myself I feel significantly better and more able to cope.

So you might not get the glow, but things will hopefully improve in some way. And if not, remember you are absolutely not alone.

I remember one of my really good friends, who has 2 children and has always been known as being desperate for kids and now an incredible mother - when I told her I was pregnant, she said “I hated it - we had wanted more children, and I would do labour a dozen more times, but I could not do pregnancy again.” I was so shocked because she is one of those very mothery people - so hating pregnancy does not mean you aren’t grateful for your baby!

The first trimester is the worst in my opinion.
exhaustion, nausea, horrible taste in mouth, heightened sense of smell, aversion to certain foods. Yuck 🤮

Second trimester is loads better.