Newborn baby - sleep issues

[keenmumtobe]

My beautiful baby boy was born 5 days ago. We are both absolutely delighted and in love. It’s our first child so a bit of a shock to the system!! Sleep wise anyway we are both shattered lol however when in bed, the baby is snug in Moses basket (safely) the room is warm, he’s just been fed and ready to sleep but the dummy constantly falls out of his mouth and he cries, this happens about every 10 minutes and goes on all night, apart from when he’s being fed. I don’t want to seem naive - I’m sure this is all normal but is there anything we can do to settle it?

Congratulations! If he’s spitting the dummy out and crying, he could be hungry still. If it just falls out then try a different dummy brand?

This is very normal for a newborn, they want to be close to you. Have you read about the 4th trimester? Consider settling baby into a deeper sleep while on your chest before transferring or look at safe co sleeping.

dummy for a 5 day old 😳

We couldn't put ours down to sleep for at least a week after they were born. Then we'd get him into a deep sleep and be able to put him down but it was a bit hit and miss for a while. It's all normal but exhausting.

All normal! Very tough though, in the first two weeks we slept in 4hr shifts so one of us stayed downstairs with the baby, and the other went upstairs to get some sleep. After that we went into the same room but alternated who was on night duty and the other put on a sleep mask and earplugs and went to sleep. The best sleep our DC got in the first few months was through contact naps, took her a while to settle in Moses basket/cot.

There is nothing wrong with a dummy for a 5 day old, but if it's falling out all the time then baby might not be comfortable with it - you could try a few different brands and see if any stick better?

My Ds took a dummy fine but my friend's baby wouldn't touch one with a barge pole. I liked the fact it worked but it did become a bit of a crutch for DS, we spent a lot of time replacing dummies in the night, I ended up getting rid of it at about 9m.

Anyway other than that it sounds very normal for newborn sleep as frustrating as it is! We did the same as RedBulb, one person was on shift and able to sleep on a sofa bed in DS' room if he was sleeping, the other person was sleeping in our room. We switched twice a night (i.e. I slept 9pm-1am, then we switched and I was on shift til 5am, then we switched again).

@keenmumtobe have you tried a swaddle? I have a 4 week old daughter, for the first week we couldnt get her to sleep anywhere except on us, if we put her in the moses basket she just woke up and cried. Then I tried swaddling her and she was suddenly able to sleep 3 hours at a time in the cot/moses basket, it was like magic🤣 I had initially thought she didnt like it as she would protest when I put her in it, but then I would finish the feed with the swaddle on, wait until she was asleep and then transfer to cot...works most of the time! I think it mimics the feeling of being in the womb. Worth a try!

As for the dummy, I think it just takes practice for them to learn how to keep it in their mouths. Have you tried different shapes? My lactation consultant recommended round/"cherry-shaped" old fashioned shaped ones rather than the newer, thinner ones that are supposed to mimic breastfeeding. I am waiting for a delivery of Bib/phillips avent soothie soothers and hoping my daughter will take one of those as she has refused all other types😅

Good luck, it will get easier!

My little boy was the same, if he didn’t have a dummy he would have been using me as one! My son is actually half tongue tied which makes it hard for him to latch on breast, bottles and dummys. Might be worth getting it checked if you haven’t already.
congratulations on your baby x

@Nurber get over yourself.

There's always one 🙄

Op, if you are certain the baby isn't hungry it could be the dummy brand, both of mine had Tommee Tippee because I found the teat to be longer. However, the first couple of weeks they do tend to just spit it out so will take some getting used to.

Not sure why there's snarling at @Nurber here, the guidance isn't to introduce dummys straight from birth. Obviously it's up to the parents, but if the baby is waking every 10 minutes because the dummy falls out, why not try settling them without the dummy and seeing if they sleep better without the constant disruption.

Our baby loved the Love to Dream swaddle suits. They're a bit expensive but were worth it for us! Good luck, the sleeplessness isn't forever! X

Sounds like baby is still hungry x

Completely normal, they don’t sleep a whole pile at night for the first few weeks. If he’s being breastfed then he’ll be predominantly on the boob in the early days to stimulate supply. As a PP said, take it in shifts to make sure you’re both getting some unbroken sleep. If I were you I’d do away with the dummy, it’s too early and it’s already causing issues.

I don't think 5 day olds are strong enough to hold a dummy in their mouths. It's not a natural thing for them. He probably just wants comfort from you. My babies slept on me for weeks, and never in a moses basket.

I would try settling them without the dummy. Everyone I know who has used one seems to spend hours putting it back in at night and then they go through the trauma of weaning it. Not worth it to me.

@keenmumtobe Get rid of the dummy (they are awful, particularly if you are breastfeeding as you need baby to stimulate your breast LOTS) and cosleep, and be prepared to be awake every 30-45 mins. Are you breastfeeding? The early weeks are awful for cluster feeding. Sleep if you can during the day whilst baby naps.

Are you using the smallest dummy for that brand? It might be too big for his mouth. Also if you are breastfeeding the dummy will be less appealing to him than your boob.

Maybe he isn't bothered about the dummy, DD2 wasn't, even at 6 months she sucks it while dropping off and then spits it straight out again. Whereas DD1 was a dummy monster.

Have you tried white noise to help settle him x

Oh we also used Ewan the sheep! It looks like a cuddly toy but has a sensor so every time your baby makes a noise, it will play sounds (our baby liked the heart beat sound) but it also has white noise etc which can help settle if it's just a light wake x

Swaddling is a good shout to try. One of mine HATED it and the other adored it. But definitely worth a try.

And yes to Ewan the dram sheep! The one who hated swaddling loved hairdryer noise so we got Ewan which helped a lot. The swaddled one didn't particularly respond to aewan either way.

It's all a journey at this stage.

@spannered I think I’m just tired of all the people that make judgmental comments on MN and don’t offer any alternative advice. The OP is just trying their best and asking for advice. It would be different to say something along the lines of ‘dummies are not recommended from that early on however this is what I found useful etc.’ like you have done on your post. Not just come on and post an embarrassed emoji about someone using a dummy. It’s just not helpful. @keenmumtobe I also recommend swaddling and the white noise. As soon as we swaddled our DD at two weeks old she went down and settled much better.

Thanks to you all for the lovely advice and support!

@Fleur240 its not just you who's fed up of it lol, thats why I commented as well and for the exact reason you gave.

Probably doesn't want the dummy, leave it out

Sounds like the dummy isn't working for you. I'd drop it if I were you.

At five days old they start to wake up a bit, they're not so sleepy and stunned from birth anymore. He might be trying to cluster feed to help your milk come in.

You'll find what works for your baby soon, each baby is different. Do you have a lot of support?