17 weeks and really struggling mentally

[yumyumyumy]

Just wanted to get this off my chest. Currently 17 weeks pregnant and in a constant state of anxiety. I had a loss at 20 weeks last year and started getting ill around at around 17 weeks last time so I'm very nervous right now.

I forgot to take a dose of medication the other day which isn't like me which sent me into a state of anxiety and upset for the whole evening.

I'm sick of injecting myself sign blood thinners every day. I find them so painful and I'm bruising a lot.

I've withdrawn from family and friends as I don't want to tell anyone about the pregnancy until viability stage. I live a couple of hours away so that makes it easier but I'm having to decline invites.

This just seems like the longest pregnancy ever and I'm constantly looking out for symptoms and worrying the same thing is going to happen again. I have great antenatal care which obviously helps but won't ease the panic and constant anxiety.

You're doing good OP, you just have to remain strong.

Use a medication reminder app on your phone so you can prevent missed doses in the future.

I gave my wife those blood thinner injections every day for 6 weeks following a c-section, she was full of bruises too.

Keep your head up, consult with your midwives about how to keep your body in tip top condition with supplements for you and your baby.

I know you said you're (understandably) anxious, but the best thing for you is to set yourself up for a smooth pregnancy and try to relax.

@yhk has put it perfectly - you’re doing great @yumyumyumy . Stay strong and keep persevering.

It’s normal to feel anxious and worried , particularly when you’ve already experienced a loss.

focus on keeping your mind focussed in the present, on the positive and establishing some really good healthy habits (like walking, getting fresh air, mindfulness, healthy eating etc)

i suspect when you get into the early 20weeks and you can feel baby kicking, you’ll find that more reassuring and you will relax a lot more.

praying for you, sending lots of love xxx

I understand, but you will get there. I lost 2 babies back to back at 16 weeks and the pregnancy after them was truly torture. The medication (he's 5 weeks old and I'm still on the blood thinning injections 😭) is awful, I forgot once and cried for 2 days and ended up with the midwives listening to his heartbeat. Which was horrendous in itself as I also hate going to the hospital and have a big fear of those moments where they're looking/listening for the heartbeat so don't like seeking help.
Nothing will stop you worrying, I found it harder when I could feel him as then I was just constantly focussed on that and whether he was moving enough. It felt never ending and if worry could kill you, I'd have dropped dead. But I didn't, we are both here. It did end and it will do for you.
The best advice I was given was to accept that worry and anxiety is normal. Your experience is that things aren't always ok after the point when other people's babies are fine. You will have worries (based in reality) that other people don't have - they abstractly hope things will be ok. Where as I was sat there on 2 occasions where they looked for a heartbeat and didn't find one - who in their right mind would be relaxed in pregnancy after a later than usual loss?
The anxiety is normal, understandable even - you just have to sit with it and accept that the next 23 weeks will be torture. But very much worth it when you have your baby safe

Thanks for the lovely comments all.

I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks at the end of 2022, got pregnant soon after that which resulted in a 20 week loss in June last year due to very early onset preeclampsia. On medication now and hoping for the best. I had lots of tests and no underlying cause was found. I have a lovely DS born in 2020 at 34 weeks so I'm expecting a premature birth again, but I hope it's viable this time.

I had an NHS scan at 16 weeks and all fine but still early days and things could change in a heartbeat. 24, 26, 28 weeks are the milestones I'm hoping for.

Keep us posted @yumyumyumy - we are hoping for the best for you xxx

Sorry for your losses. Unless you've been through it is hard to understand. My midwife said she'd be shocked if I wasn't worried and it's completely normal too. I'm pretty good with my medication but I was so hard on myself when I forgot once. I went into meltdown mode too!

Thank you. Will keep you posted x

@yumyumyumy absolute best of luck. No amount of reassurance is likely to help as the worst has already happened - you beat the odds to lose a baby when they tell you you're safe. However, it doesn't mean it will happen again, as statistically speaking, you will bring this one home.

You're very unlikely to be able to enjoy this pregnancy, but if it brings you your baby then let's face it - it'll all be worth it!

Feel free to message me if that will help you. As you say, I really do understand as it was only a few short weeks ago that I was in your shoes but I'm thankfully out the other side and holding my baby ❤️