Positive birth experiences?

[BumbleAw]

I'm a first time mum and am terrified of giving birth, labour and the pain that comes with it. Also, a huge fear of the unknown. I've read so many horror stories, but could anyone share some HONEST but positive birth experiences with me? Also, any advice or tips to help make the experience better?

I'm not looking to be told its great when it's not, just curious if anyone's experience was better than expected I guess!

For context -
Due to health conditions I have to give birth at hospital, I have also started a course on hypnobirthing, other than that I am pretty clueless on it all!

Thanks

I had 2 really positive experiences. Both births were quick, manageable and I felt in control all the time.
It's all luck of the draw.
Look how many people have more than one child- so it can't always be so bad!!
Lots of luck!

I had 3 really good births OP. Two were very fast - one was 25 mins in total, and other than a little bit of gas and air with my second, I had no drugs at all and was home with a nice cuppa 2 hours after each 😊 The pain was awful, yet still weirdly manageable!

Have your partner or birthing partner well aware of your wishes before you go into hospital, and remember you do not have to agree to anything. If you do want or need pain relief, you can ask for a small dose at first to see how you react.

Good luck and try not to worry.

We're still a few weeks away but we did an in person hypnobirthing course and I've read Siobhan Miller's book and currently reading The Positive Birth Book and I feel much calmer and prepared for everything, so hopefully your course will help calm your fears too

@BumbleAw I know lots of women (including me) who have had straightforward births. The trouble is that there is now a presumption that we don't talk about them, and that's made it look as if the majority of births are traumatic and complicated. Same goes for breastfeeding. OBVIOUSLY some women do have appalling times and it's right that they are free to talk about it, both for their own sake and for the sake of other people. But it should also be OK for women who found it challenging but ultimately straightforward to talk about it too.

Two great labours. Second was painful for only a short time.

As long as you stay in control of your breathing and don't start panicking, you'll be done.

I had no pain relief by choice and didn't need it.

Women have been giving birth for centuries, if it was that bad we would have all died out.

I had two births without any pain relief, just using deep breathing and , to be honest, I enjoyed pushing and giving birth. DS had the same experience as did DM. There are too many horror stories about these days. It is a natural process and what women are built for. I always tell people that the point about any pain involved is that you know it is transitory. It will stop as soon as the baby is born and once you are holding your new baby nothing else matters.

Birth ed do a fantastic course and they also have a podcast which is so informative

It's not about how you birth it's about you making the right choices for you and feeling empowered

My birth was ok, I had my daughter at home, I did struggle with getting my breathing right because I found it quite painful and because for that I struggled to relax.

I had a pool which DP set up in the lounge and when i got in that it was very like getting into a hot bath and your body just instantly relaxes, so it almost didn't hurt anymore and then I felt the need to push and that didn't hurt it was just a relief.

I went into my son's birth armed with as much information as I could about what could happen and why things were happening. Knowledge is power as they say! I also did the Positive Birth Company course. I focussed on the breathing techniques and 'science' and ignored the hokey affirmations as I felt they were a bit silly.

I had a 36 hour labour but most of that was contractions 45 minutes apart and all took place at home. I went into hospital around the 33 hour mark, was 10cm on arrival and gave birth to my son two hours later.

I had no pain relief throughout as I genuinely didn't need it. The worst the contractions got was during transition which lasted about 30 minutes in triage but once I moved to the pushing stage I felt no pain at all.

I had an episiotomy, which I was afraid of, but it was honestly fine and I didn't feel a thing. I also had a third degree tear (as my son came out at an angle), another fear, but I didn't feel that either. I was repaired in surgery and have no lasting problems.

So yeah, a birth not without complications but I still view it as a very positive experience.

Due to give birth to number two any day now! :)

Just for info - I had an induction (overdue), epidural and unplanned/emergency c section and it was still an overall positive experience to be honest. I think it's important to say that not everyone gets the birth they imagined (this was not my dream birth strangely enough😅) but things that helped make it positive were:

-trying to be open to different options and not seeing any as inherently "bad"

• ask so many questions about what is happening and why so you can really understand what's going on
• make sure your birth partner knows your wishes and can advocate/ask questions for you

-reading positive birth stories of all kinds of births, not the ideal experience that we all picture beforehand -going with the flow! Honestly, before I had one I was really hoping not to have a section, but by the time it came to it it was so obviously the right choice at that stage.

Best of luck!

I have had 2 natural births using only gas and air and both went very smoothly small graze with my first birth but nothing on my second. I gave birth with my second on my knees on the bed and I feel that was so much easier for me so will be wanting to do that this time round baby number 3 due in 2 weeks!
don’t be afraid to move positions and ask question you are your only advocate along with your birthing partner. Good luck x

I had a long 'slow labour' started with contractions, every 5 mins throughout and it took me 30 hours to get from 1-2cm. The contractions were really painful towards the end of those 30 hours. I spent alot of time googling horror stories on mumsnet of not dilating, needing intervention or emergency section. I lost all hope and thought that's what was going to happen to me.

I spent the rest of the night at home labouring, until at 8:30am I called the hospital and asked if they could check me again and if I could have some form of pain relief as I had lost all hope and just wanted it over with. I arrived at the hospital at 09:20, she checked me and I was 10cm. The pressure I had was my body naturally pushing my baby out. 20 minutes later he was born!

So whilst it wasn't a fast labour, I thought I'd tell you mine is there was still a happy story at the end and all the dreaded posts I'd read about not dilating didn't happen to me.

I actually felt like superwoman for a very long time after!

Hi there I am a labour ward midwife. I was also terrified prior to my first labour (that was before my midwifery training). As you say, everyone is keen to report a horror birth story. For some unknown reasons friends usually keep a good story to themselves (perhaps to avoid being seen as bragging?). As a midwife I have seen plenty of positive stories. They usually happen to women who read a lot but keep their plans flexible. These women are more likely to be listened to which could make a huge difference. I would recommend a Positive Birth Book to any pregnant woman any day. Also TENS machine. I hope it helps. Good luck

One of the best replies I've read on here over the years.

I also had a decent time with my labours.
DC1 - some pains which help like stomach cramps, contracting every 4 mins. Drove myself to hospital and was ready for delivery when I got there. No pain relief and had my DC not come out with their fist against their face, I wouldn't hsve needed the episiotomy. Start to finish was less than 3 hours.

Second one was pretty quick - 1.5 hours. Much more in control - completely in control of my breathing and what I wanted to do. Baby was lying differently though and I needed the gas and air that time.

I think a lot of the need for pain relief is also down to baby's positioning inside you and how they're lying. And how you manage your own breathing.

I'm very much of positive mindset though. - yes, it will have an element of pain. Of course it will! But is it as bad as you think? For me, absolutely not. Nowhere near as bad as the horror stories I was fed.

I think it's worth adding that going into your labour with a positive attitude and open mindset can help keep you calm if anything unexpected happens.

Of course the textbook vaginal delivery is ideal, but being prepared for intervention or additional pain relief if needed are also completely fine and can still be a positive experience for you.

As others have said, if it were that bad we would all only have one ☺️

I did hypnobirthing too and had 2 v positive experiences despite the second being an induction and I had my waters broken. The contractions ramp up slowly so it’s not all at once and they come and go so the pain isn’t constant. Towards the end my body just sort of took over and I wasn’t really with it! I recommend a tens machine (doesn’t exactly help with pain but sort of distracts you!) and gas and air. I also had a big ball and did lots of sitting on it and bouncing in the weeks leading up to the birth.