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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

To try again at 43??

2 replies

Lulabella22 · 06/05/2024 14:13

Looking for advice and/or experiences please.

We have 1 beautiful 9 year DD via IVF and 2 frozen embryos 4CB and 5CB. She is an absolute blessing, we were so thrilled to have had just 1 successful cycle that we spent the 1st 5 years totally wrapped up in our bubble. Then we started to consider FET, but covid hit and the clinic paused treatments for around 6 months, we decided the time wasn't right for us. Then Jan 2022 we discovered we were naturally pregnant. I was 41. Due to various reasons I was suffering terribly with my mental health and together with my DH we decided to terminate. A decision I regret to this very day, I wish I hadn't been so unwell, wish I had been stronger and put my trust in the medics who would've helped me.

Then Sept 2022 I fell pregnant naturally again ! I was frightened but stronger mentally 💪🏼 we were ready for this and felt so blessed with another chance. Unfortunately at 13 weeks we discovered our baby was seriously ill and unlikely to survive. If he did he would not have had any quality of life. We TFMR 💔 it felt like punishment.

I've spent the last year and a half broken and tormented. It took my body a long time to recover as it was a complicated termination with 2 further surgeries. I've since had scans and my uterus has recovered well. No scarring.

I look at my daughter and wish she had a sibling, but Im so wrapped up in horror stories of pregnancies in the over 40s.

So I guess I'm looking for successful stories. I'm 43 now, 44 at delivery at the earliest. I had mild pre-eclampsia at the end of my 1st pregnancy at age 34, quite a bit of blood loss but was not told whether it was pph and I didn't need a blood transfusion, just iron tablets. I go from stay healthy and here for my daughter, we are so lucky, to just take that chance, trust the process and try and get that final puzzle piece to our family. 🧩

OP posts:
Daisypod · 06/05/2024 15:11

I can't tell you what you should do but I did have a healthy successful pregnancy at 43 and giving birth age 44. This was after a couple of losses.
I also got pregnant at 45 but lost the baby very traumatically at 16 weeks.
At 43 as you know you will be more at risk of a loss so you need to weigh up how you'd feel about that against how you'd feel if you never gave it a go.
Good luck whatever you decide

PumpingRSI · 07/05/2024 07:25

I'm currently 20 weeks and 43 years young. 3rd pregnancy and had mild pre-eclampsia with first but not second.

I did early NIPT for some reassurance and have been so much more cautious this time. But I'm starting to believe it's happening.

Right decision for us, but one made with all the knowledge about risks.

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