Trying to put me off an elective section

[Owler26]

I've posted before about being anxious about pregnancy and birth.

So I found out I was pregnant and was having a really bad time with panic attacks and not sleeping, terrified of birth. When I saw my midwife for the first time she suggested I have a c section.
This made me calm right down, I'd love a c section, most people I know have had one and I've been jealous of them. I know it's not the easy way out or anything daft like that but I'm not terrified of them like I am a natural birth.

Anyways the hospital just rang, I'm 14 weeks now. She basically read out a huge list of risks of c section, she kept saying significantly higher risk of baby having breathing problems, baby getting cut during the section, infection, future pregnancies significantly higher risk of stillborn, placenta growing through the old scar tissue etc. (there was loads more she said)

But it really annoyed me as I thought... Are you going to list all the horrible risks that come with a natural delivery then? Shoulder dystocia, cord wrapped around neck, 3rd and 4th degree tears, episiotomy, infection, forceps, pelvic floor collapse, incontinence etc.

Both methods of delivery come with risk, I just thought this was unfair to only list one.
Or comparing worst case scenario c section to a wonderful best case scenario labour.

I think the appointment with the consultants about it is going to be quite difficult for me.

Medical professionals are legally obligated to inform you of the risks of any type of surgery. It's standard procedure. I wouldn't take it personally.

It's major surgery, that is optional for you, of course they have to list the potential risks. They would be negligent not to, imagine if they didn't and your baby got hurt, they'd be setting themselves up for litigation.

I'm totally pro your choice by the way. But i think it's your head that's making you see this through a lens that isn't there.

Take a deep breath.

Do not allow anyone to bully you out of your right to choose. Having a morbid fear of childbirth is a very real and valid reason to opt for elective c-section.

If you are worried, then take someone with you to the appointment for moral support.

If you feel that you are being coerced into changing your mind, say immediately I FEEL YOU ARE BULLYING ME out of my right to choose.

This is unacceptable.

It is well-documented that women are regularly bullied, ignored and sidelined by healthcare providers.

Remember that you are well within your rights to ask for whatever is right for you. If they don't like it, then tough shit. Don't take any crap. Stick to your guns and remember that if you don't like the way you are being treated or spoken to, you can complain to the hospital.

Before any surgery they have to seek informed consent. To do this they need to tell you the risks. If they didn’t they would be negligent. You just need to say yes I understand and want to go ahead.

Hello

I’ve requested an elective caesarean too, for my own personal reasons. I haven’t had any contact from a consultant yet but I am prepared that they may try to talk me out of it.

I found this document online which is invaluable, as it directly compares risks of natural birth and caesarean. Have a read of this and then at least you can be clear with the consultant that you are well aware of the pros and cons have both, and have weighed up your options in detail before coming to your decision.

I’ve a friend who was the other way, her first vaginal delivery, she bled badly and for future births, they suggested a C section, but she was into her sports and didn’t want her stomach muscles cut. Her 2nd and 3rd deliveries were traumatic but she refused having a section and need blood transfusions afterwards. You will just have to put your point across and hope they agree, although there’s no guarantee.

They have to tell you all the risks so they're covered. I'm surprised this is all being discussed so early? I'm 18 weeks and haven't had any discussion about birth options but I wouldn't expect to until near the due date? I'm happy living in denial until then but I wouldn't chose to have surgery unless necessary.

They have to inform you of the risks. It is major surgery and there are a lot of potential problems that can arise. You need to understand these properly to make an informed choice, and it is their duty to support you with this. Once you have considered the risks and have made your decision you can let them know this and hopefully they will be supportive. Try to view it more positively and see it as them making sure your understand the decision you're making. I think you are seeing this as something it's not to be honest.

I guess they don't have to tell you about the risks for vaginal delivery because they're not responsible for that, iyswim. The baby is coming out that way by default. If you're making a choice for them to perform surgery, they need to know you've gone into it having thought carefully about could happen.

I wouldn't let it get to you. People will have a hundred different opinions about your pregnancy and how you raise your infant. This is a good time to start letting it go over your head. You can't take it all to heart or get into a flap.

Who was it who rang you from the hospital?

All hospitals (and in many respects all consultants) do things a bit differently. I was so worried about requesting an ELCS, but my consultant appointment at 16 weeks lasted a total of 5 minutes. He asked me if I was sure I wanted one, and then booked it in and gave me the date. I was well-prepared to justify my reasoning, including based on medical history, but he seemed fine with me just wanting to make the choice myself.

I did expect more of a battle, but the guidance changed in 2022 in the wake of maternity scandals and I think a lot less individual practitioners will take a draconian approach now. They ultimately cannot prevent you having an ELCS.

My consultant didn’t actually go through the risks and benefits with me, but my midwife said they will do that at 36 weeks. If I do end up seeing a different consultant that day and they are more difficult, my response will simply be ‘and you can guarantee I will have a straightforward labour with no tearing or lasting impact on my pelvic floor then? Because sign me up for a vaginal birth if you can 100% guarantee that’s how it will be for me and that I will not suffer GPs and consultants and physios gaslighting me for years telling me that any issues with my pelvic floor are in my head or just a normal part of giving birth I should suffer through.’ And when they say no they can’t promise that, it will be the end of the discussion. I don’t think it will actually go this way at my hospital though. Their c-section rate is 50% so they clearly don’t worry about doing them.

Op it's major abdominal surgery, they have to get your consent and to do that they have to ensure you understand the risks. Nothing more. You are allowed to request a c section but they will at regular intervals make sure you understand as you said "it's not the easy way out" it's just procedure 😊

Its major surgery. They are legally required to ensure that you are fully informed and understand the risks.

Both of my sections were required for medical reasons and they still needed to make sure I understood and consented to them.

Things can go wrong with sections and recovery from sections - they did for me both times.

Thank you so much for all your replies!

I guess I just feel so strongly on this and it's perhaps made me feel bad/guilty or like a bad mother for making such a terrible risky choice for me and my baby!
As that's not the way I saw it before she started listing it all. I didn't get to say anything back like why I would like one etc.

Believe me I've researched so much, I know the risks! I prefer these risks compared to natural birth risks.
But like someone said above, if they promise me a risk/complication free natural delivery then sign me up!!

Believe me I've researched so much, I know the risks! I prefer these risks compared to natural birth risks.

Then that's all you need to say.

AIMS are a really good resource if you feel you're not being listened to

If you don’t want a maternal request ELCS then you won’t need to talk about birth choices until much later on. And that won’t involve a consultant if you are low-risk.

But for women who do want to explore or discuss a c-section, that has to be raised early because they’ll need a referral to a consultant. And leaving it to 36 weeks will mean the theatre lists may be full by that stage, so the hospital may not be able to accommodate the request at that point.

It is a bugger, and I found the main hospital midwife I had to see before the consultant was a bit like your call. You should have seen the dirty look she gave me at the end when, after I had sobbed and had a series of minor panic attacks through the consult, she merrily suggested I would be willing to give a VB a go, or at least decide later, and I said absolutely not - I want to see the consultant. The consultant was brilliant though. I pointed out that I knew the risks of a CS, but also knew the risks of VB and frankly I was willing to take the CS risks as to me, they are far less concerning than the risks of VB. She nodded and booked me in. My second baby, the same consultant just gave me a call to basically book me in. I was offered a VBAC, but didn't fancy it.

My consultant said, in terms of risk to women and babies, whilst a completely textbook vaginal birth is best, an elective CS is far less risky than a VB with interventions or emergency CSs. The only one you can "choose" from that list is ELCS...

That’s all you need to say

it’s not that deep

they aren’t going to go through the risks of a natural birth because it’s the default way babies come out and you don’t really have much choice

opting for the other is a break from the norm

i had an elective c section and it was the absolute tits.

I have had an emergency section then 2VBACs. My first section saved my baby's life but also nearly cost me the life of my dc3 and me. It is a really difficult situation but you need to ask a lot of questions and decide what you can and can't live with.

I had this too, I did understand they have to tell you the risks, but as you say it’s not risks of a c section vs no risk at all. Neither option is risk free.
They also tried to talk me out of it repeatedly, suggesting that I’d like to have an induction first, and every time I said no they suggested a different form of induction. They implied I didn’t have a choice and they had to do sweeps, And they kept telling me inductions don’t hurt. When they accepted I wanted a c section they stopped talking about inductions but moved to delaying me booking the c section and saying maybe you’re not sure, we won’t book it yet, wait until you’re sure in a few weeks. Then they started talking about what contraception they’d insert whilst I was having the c section.
It was all suggested as though I had no real choice. I was glad that I was prepared for it and just kept saying no, and eventually we got booked in and it’s all fine now.

Again, I do understand they have to tell you the risks but it’s a conversation very much for their benefit and not yours. If it was for your benefit they would explain the process of a c section, what happens and the process, who is in the room, what’s happening to your body and the baby, the recovery period as well as comparing the risks of natural birth so you can make an informed decision. But they don’t. I think that’s why it’s frustrating, because it’s clearly not a conversation designed to actually help you.

Hi @Owler26 it's really stressful, I have been through this! I wanted a C section for similar reasons. Firstly I find it odd that you had a phone call about it.... it's really a conversation that should ideally be face to face, you weren't really prepared for it! So I'd defo mention that you weren't happy with that aspect.

I found that I kept mentioning it at my appointments and the midwife would gently say "lets see how you feel at the next appointment". It got to after 20 weeks and I was getting really worried that I wasn't going to get one, so I went to my next appointment with a letter printed out, listing my reasons, and stating that if this hospital wouldn't book me one, I would be willing to go elsewhere. The midwife that day (I had different ones each time) said it shouldn't be a problem. After that it was really straightforward, I had my consultant appointment - this was the point at which they went through the risks (in person!) and to be honest I did have a wobble - it IS scary, and it does have risks... but they have to list all the risks to cover themselves. I went ahead and signed the consent and that was that.

I'd take a printed letter with you to your next appointment, you can either read it aloud or just ask them to read it. This way you don't miss any of your points that you want to get across.

No one can predict what a birth or c section will be like, it's a bit of a lottery. But we all manage our anxieties differently and I wouldn't change my choice. Stick to your guns and it should hopefully work out.

@BirthdayRainbow do you mean that you had complications with your 3rd (vbac) delivery caused by the c section scar?

OP I just wanted to say I had an episiotomy with my first and a graze with my second. Both healed really well (as most do) and I have no problems. So glad I had vaginal births, don't discount it.

Yes I'm short.

If someone read you a list of the risks of natural birth it would be just as scary except infant death would be in there too.

My midwife is lovely and very much advocates for what I want, she was like it's not an issue at all! She said most of the c sections she puts through are maternal request rather than medically necessary (because I was feeling ashamed about it)
But she did warn me that the consultants might try and put me off and to just make sure I'm aware of all the risks and it is what I want.
I'll be seeing her in a few weeks.