When to tell parents?

[Pumpkinmoo]

Hi,
over the past year i have had 2 chemical pregnancies. I have just found out I am pregnant again and we have had fantastic line progression and already am further along by a few days then both of our previous pregnancies.
3 weeks ago my gorgeous grandad died, it has been such a terrible loss and we have all really struggled with it, I consider myself a grandads girl so I have found it really tricky. My mum was really close to her dad too and so has found it really hard. The funeral was on Wednesday and my mums birthday yesterday. I didn’t want to take the attention away from those things as it’s not really about me, either event, however I feel like I am lying to my mum everytime I speak to her and I’m finding it so hard not to say anything and emotionally I really need my mum. In the same breath I worry if I tell her now it will be too soon for her to hear so I’m really stuck ! Any advice would be appreciated.

Personally I would try and leave it a bit longer to tell her, I think in her shoes I would be really consumed by grief and struggle to have capacity for your news as much as I'd like to at this point in time, but that's just me.

If you've told her about the previous pregnancies, then I'd tell her next time you see her. I'd caveat it with acknowledging it may he hard to process your news right now and you aren't expecting her to be joyous given the current context.

If I were your mum I'd want to be there for you and the prospect and joy of new life would help me come to terms with the loss. Obviously if the worst were to happen this pregnancy it would be harder to process but, if I were your mum, I wouldn't want to think you'd protected my emotions at your own expense.