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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Can I take a very active toddler to my antenatal appointments or am I mad to consider it?

21 replies

MrsTittleMouse · 01/04/2008 15:33

Or possibly c) all of the above.
DD is 18 months. I do have the option of asking my parents to come and visit. I also know some other Mums in the area, although we moved here fairly recently, so not very well. Is it an imposition to ask someone to babysit DD, or is it the only sane thing to do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Oliveoil · 01/04/2008 15:33

strap em in the buggy

bribe with biscuit/carrot

tell nurse to get a move on

it will be fine

Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 01/04/2008 16:06

I do have some "issues" regarding this pregnancy, mostly because I had PTSD after DD's birth. So it won't be your typical hand over the wee/blood pressure/thank you and goodnight appointment. Would that make a difference?

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3littlefrogs · 01/04/2008 16:09

If it is relatively easy to arrange for someone to mind him I would go for it. It will reduce your sress level and allow you to concentrate on talking to the MW/Dr or whoever. Hospital clinics aren't the safest places for toddlers so you wouldn't be able to take your eyes off him.

clam · 01/04/2008 16:10

I had an internal examination when about 6 months pg with DD. DS being a pain, so ended up sitting on my chest throughout! Beat looking at the ceiling, whilst whistling nonchanantly.

TheApprentice · 01/04/2008 16:12

i have no family where I live, and whilst I can call on a friend to mind ds for occasional things like scans, theres no way I can find someone to look after him every time I have an ante-natal appointment. I just put him in the buggy and bribe with toys/biscuits. The midwifes and nurses are quite used to it.

LynetteScavo · 01/04/2008 16:14

Maybe leave your DD with someone the first time, while you check out how child freindly the clinic is. I always took my DS with me. Teh midwife would lock the door while I was lying down, so he didn't escape, and we never has a long wait. I thought it was useful, especially near the end of my pregnancy for him to hear babys heart beat etc.

hellsbells76 · 01/04/2008 16:16

my midwife was lovely with my DS at antenatal appointments - he was a bit older though (3-4), she'd get him to help rub the jelly on mummy's tummy and let him hold the doppler to hear the heartbeat, he loved it!

claireybee · 01/04/2008 16:24

I took dd to all of my antenatal appointments as was in a similar situation to you. She was 18 months when ds was born.
It was fine although the first few times she didn't like me lying down while the midwife did the measurements/HB etc. She soon got used to it though and started playing at midwife with her teddies at home.

I found if she was in the buggy she would screech and wail to get out which was very annoying but if she was out of it she'd play happily with toys or just watch what was going on. I also had fortnightly growth scans and weekly trips to the consultant and she came to all of those

Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 01/04/2008 16:54

OK, so it looks as though I should get babysitting for "sensitive" appointments, but otherwise it should be OK. I've been looking up all the literature that you get given about older siblings, but it all seems to be geared for children who are 3 or 4, there's almost nothing for a child who is too little to understand. I suppose that by the time I have the fortnightly appointments at the end, that she will be old enough to explain everything to, is that right?

OP posts:

Skimty · 01/04/2008 18:20

Me and my friends in the antenatal group who are on second time round do exactly that, the booking in appointment/ any consultant visits/ internals etc. we farm them out but for just regular checks we take them with us.

Where have you moved to. If you're in the Surbtion/Kingston area, I'd happily do babysitting swaps with you.

Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 01/04/2008 18:23

Thank you skimty but we don't live close to each other.
That's the whole problem with moving, isn't it? I'm trying to make new friends, but you don't have the same bond as if you'd gone through the first pregnancy together, so I feel cheekier for asking.

OP posts:

Skimty · 01/04/2008 18:29

Maybe if you can find someone else who's having 2nd pg then you can swap?

We were going to move (to Milan of all places) but decided against it because I was too much of a wimp to make new friends!!

fireflytoo · 01/04/2008 18:33

How about the local playgroup or mums and tots groups....there may be some other mums who might like to share... and maybe even bacome friends?

fridayschild · 01/04/2008 18:39

I think you need babysitting for scans Just In Case it is bad news.

DS1 was 18 months when Ds2 was born. We read ZaZa's baby brother a lot, which is good because it is not all fun for zaza when the baby comes. He quite liked the midwife appointments towards the end, and they were very good about giving him things to play with, and listen to his heartbeat/ measuring his tummy too. Our MW appointments were at home in the final stages.

Buddhababe · 02/04/2008 10:52

I brought my DS who is 16 months on some check ups and he is very active. It was quite hard to relax to be honest. I have also moved here recently and like yourself, have met a few new mums but would be reluctant to ask them. I have sorted out a babysitter/childminder so what i do now is book her when there is an appointment coming up. Much easier.

meemar · 02/04/2008 10:57

If you have the option of a sitter then use it - it will make things much easier.

I had no choice but to take DS1 to mine when 18 months old and it was manageable but would have been much better without him - he got really upset when the midwife used to listened to my tummy!

We got a babysitter for the scan.

Fennel · 02/04/2008 10:59

I used to take my toddler. I remember her crawling about under the hospital bed while I had a scan.

At that age, even if you have bad news on a scan, the toddler doesn't pick up so much on what's happening, so at least you don't have to worry about their getting upset.

Bky · 02/04/2008 11:04

I took my 18 month DD to all of mine, had no-one to look after her so had no choice. Strapped her in pushchair took some snacks and toys, she was fine most of the time. I also had a lot of issues about my first birth and saw a councellor this time round, she came along to all those sessions too.

francagoestohollywood · 02/04/2008 11:06

That is one of the 1000000 activities that I hate doing with a child around. So I'd probably leave the toddler at home. But it is doable, as per OO post

Original poster

MrsTittleMouse · 02/04/2008 11:19

I think that at the scans I will be less concerned about DD and more concerned about me if I have to look after her and deal with bad news. We have booked my Mum to visit for the first scan now, and DH has taken the day off work, so good or bad we will have time to let things sink in just the two of us. Before we go home to an over-excited Granny and a DD who has been wound up by an over-excited Granny!
I think that when I announce the pregnancy to local friends I'll put out a few feelers. I'll be having extra appointments with the senior MW at the hospital and the consultant too due to the problems last time (and I don't think I could cope with needing to think about DD, those are too precious and I need to make sure that I get everything sorted). Hopefully a combination of taking her/local babysitter/family visiting will work out.

OP posts:

Fennel · 02/04/2008 11:27

Look at it a different way, it's another novel means of entertaining a toddler. Makes a change from toddler group or the park.

Also good practice in having to look after toddler while concentrating on something else - cos once the baby's come that's going to be a daily thing.

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