Trying again after miscarriage?

[Vicki85]

Hi all,
sadly I miscarried 10 days ago at 9weeks and 4 days - I’d just had my first mw appointment and then it all went wrong…

Anyhow, moving forwards I’ve been told to wait 2 weeks to have sex again and to wait until I’ve had a normal period before trying again.
But, I’ve also been told this could take up to 8 weeks.. and as I’m 39 time isn’t really on my side.

So I guess I’m asking what any of you guys did after a miscarriage?
Its my first pregnancy.

Sorry to hear this OP, it's hard having been in this position last year in October. I hope you're doing ok 🤍

My MW told me the same too but said I didn't have to wait until my period but it was very much advised. We tried straight away again (after the two weeks) and never conceived until December and now thankfully 20 weeks. I did have a normal period in November.

Allow yourself to feel what you feel and I'd try again when you feel comfortable too.

I'm also 37 for context too so I understand your feelings towards time etc!

Sorry for your loss.

Lots of people on here try again straight away, but I would wait at least one period especially if you didn't have an MVA or ERPC ie scan to see that all the tissue was removed.

There is a poster every other week stressing about dating /progress of a new pregnancy because she got pregnant straight after MC and I wouldn't fancy that on top of the post-MC pregnancy anxiety.

At 39 one cycle isn't going to hurt you.

Your hormones stay elevated for 3-6 months (and obviously don't just switch off after that).

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

I had recurrent miscarriages, and having tried everything from starting again straight away to having a 3 month break, if I were in this situation again (which I won't be because I don't plan to TTC again) I would wait for my first period and then try again on that cycle.

I don't know if you track your cycle, but I did, and I found that I usually ovulated again when there was a small amount of HCG still in my system. This meant that it was very difficult to know when I'd ovulated because my ovulation tests weren't accurate (they pick up HCG as well as LH and show false positives) and so it wasn't possible to tell how far along I was if I got pregnant on the next cycle. I also think I once ovulated when I was still bleeding from my miscarriage, meaning that my lining hadn't had time to build up again properly.

Just my personal experience but I decided in the end that it was better to wait for a fresh cycle unless it was a very early CP which is more like a period, physically speaking.

I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage in September last year and had surgical management - like you, I was told no sex for 2 weeks (although that was by the doctor, the nurse told me I could crack on whenever I had stopped bleeding!) and advised to wait until I'd had a period before trying again. I decided to follow that advice as I wasn't in a good headspace to try again straight away and found that waiting a few weeks gave me some time to process what had happened and feel a bit more emotionally balanced before diving back into TTC again.

It is more likely than not that your period will come back sooner than 8 weeks, although everyone is different. My period came back almost exactly 5 weeks after the surgery (it took 3 weeks to get a negative pregnancy test) - we conceived again on the 3rd cycle trying and I am now 17 weeks pregnant. I was 37 when I miscarried and am now 38 so understand the worry about time - do what feels right for you, but do make sure you've had a negative pregnancy test before you start trying again or that can cause a lot of confusion.

I had my first period within 3 weeks, it is good to wait so you know everything is functioning ok and also in case you do get pregnant again it’s better to know it’s definitely a new pregnancy and with dating. We waited 2 months as I need the time to emotionally recover, I’m glad we did wait but I’m also a bit younger than you so I appreciate you don’t want to wait too long

I’m so sorry for you loss. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks in September and had a D&C so understand the position you are currently in with regards to trying again. Me and my partner were having sex straight away (literally within days) mainly because we hadn’t been having sex during the first 9 weeks of my pregnancy due to spotting/bleeding and because we wanted to get pregnant again as soon as possible. We didn’t get pregnant and for me, having that time to wait for your period to come back was time to relax my mind & body and give your body a reset. It was actually the most calm I’ve felt since TTC weirdly. There is no right or wrong here only what you feel comfortable with, however, after the trauma you have recently been through this is a opportunity (although a unwanted opportunity 😞) to have a couple of stress free weeks with as much wine and hot baths as you like x

I’m sorry for your loss. I was told to wait for a period so they can accurately date future pregnancies. I had to have a D&C, waited around a month for my period and was pregnant the next cycle. The first few months were riddled with anxiety, multiple scans and my dates jumping around based on foetal growth. I think that would’ve been even more stressful if I wasn’t sure of my period date, so I would recommend waiting a cycle. The midwife also told me it helps to ensure everything is in working order again. Wishing you all the best.

I lost my first at 7 weeks and decided to take a few months off from trying after that but it ended up taking us 2 years to conceive after that I'm 36 now and 32 weeks pregnant . I don't know how true it is that you will be more fertile now as you were just pregnant but personally if I had it to do all over again I would of started trying again as soon as I could , sorry for your loss x

Thanks all, I’m more a reader than a poster but wanted to say thanks for your replies.

My partner is keen to get going again asap which is nice to know as he previously wasn’t decisive in us having kids which is why we are now doing this at the ages we are…
I will wait for my period as I think the stress of not knowing dates will really confuse everything!
Sorry you have all been through losses, it’s not an experience I’d wish on anyone.

I am so sorry for your loss and must been awful just after your first midwife visit, but when is a good time! I had my first child, but on bed rest as bleeding. I had 3 miscarriages after my first baby son. Each time I was told to wait 3 months for the uterus and hormones settle. I was advised if I tried earlier I might be increasìng the risk of miscarriage. It was excruiting waiting 3 months and I understand your feeling the clock is ticking! But the time advised I guess the doctors know perhaps rhe body needs to settle down again. My advice seems to be in contrast with OP advice, but wishing positive outcome. Xx