41 weeks today and struggling

[sweetpotato29]

Not really sure what I'm posting here for, I guess just a bit of a handhold/rant. I'm 41 weeks pregnant today with my 1st and didn't realise what a mental marathon it would be at this point in the pregnancy. I'm just so fed up! We've tried everything, I feel like we've done every possible thing we can think of and this baby is just happy where they are. It's starting to feel like it's all a hoax and I'm never going to get to meet them.

I really want to avoid induction if I can and give them the chance to come naturally. I want to give birth in the pool, be able to move around and avoid an epidural - all things that I don't think will be available to me if I'm induced. I just really didn't think I would be in this position, I want convinced they were going to be a week early 😅 shows how much I know!

I'm being absolutely hounded by pretty much everyone we know daily with 'are you in labour yet?' 'Any movements?' 'Any twinges?' 'Any chance yet?' It's stressing me out so much I feel like if I get one more message I'll scream. And then I feel really guilty because it's nice to have people care and I know it's coming from a well meaning place. It's just so disappointing to wake up through the night & not have contractions and then wake up again every morning for another Groundhog Day. Also got irrationally upset at the weekend as someone on my NCT group had their baby early when their due date was after mine 😂

I know I'm not the first in this position and won't be the last but I'm just struggling more than I thought I would. Really sympathise with all those pregnant ladies who've been right here before...

Hi! Just to say I sympathise! I was induced at 42+1 with mine in the end and the last two weeks were awful - until then I was quite ok with it all but as soon as I hit 40 weeks I just got so upset. Also tried everything, nothing worked 😅 every morning I'd wake up and everyone would be like "any twinge?!" And nope, I never got a single twinge 🤣 Very frustrating, but as you say, they're all trying to be supportive. The last few days WILL pass and your baby WILL be here but I know how it drags. I was induced in the end, could go in the shower etc in the early stages and then I had a "walking epidural" so could move around a bit which was nice. In the end it wasn't what I wanted completely but it was an overall good experience. I wish you luck for the last few days!

@Quolla thank you! It is a special kind of torture isn't it! I've resorted to ignoring messages from anyone now along the lines of 'are you in labour yet?' And if I don't reply they message my husband asking for updates! It's crazy...

Am just trying to chill out, have baths, face masks, trash telly... will try to put all induction anxiety out of my mind and just go with the flow. I know I don't really have much control over the situation and just want baby to be here safely!

I can only suggest a curry, laughter and sex! Let us know what you have when it is all over.

I would turn your phone off and tell your husband not to tell you if anyone messages.
have a bath, see some friends, read a book, do some yoga? Try and relax, as horrible as that sounds. It’s tough and you need your energy for labour!

I was 42+ 4 with my 3rd. I’m glad he was my third as I was more confident and gave birth in the pool at home and all was fine. It can be hard to resist pressure but so long as there is close monitoring there is no automatic need for induction. In France 42 weeks is considered full term.

Also came here to suggest a walking epidural if you do need one with induction, I had one and would recommend!
Have you tried antenatal expressing to try and bring labour on?
Also would recommend making some plans for the next couple of days (obviously things you can cancel if you want/had to), sods law is then contractions will begin!

@sweetpotato29 at one point i took a picture of my bump with a sheet of paper in front of it on which i wrote "no baby yet!" And started sending that out 🤣 it was also tricky as whenever i called family or friends for a chat they assumed I was calling to let them know he was here 🤣

Sounds like you have a good plan! I mean, as mine was so late he came out chunky and had no problems feeding etc at all (he was very hungry 😅) so if that happens its kind of nice 😃

Thanks all! Yes have been trying all the 'things' to get things moving, no luck so far. We've been expressing colostrum every day since 37 weeks so that hasn't started anything either.

I'm 41 + 1 today and have a sweep booked for Friday (41 + 4) wondering if I should call up and ask if it can be moved earlier this week? I just don't know...

@sweetpotato29 ah bless you, I remember that phase! My waters actually started trickling at 41wks - I wasn't sure it was them or not and had to be assessed. They said if things didn't ramp up within 24hrs they would have to induce, which, like you, I ideally wanted to avoid. When I went in for the induction, I asked if they would do one last sweep before inducing. Midwife felt my hind waters go as she did it, and things suddenly ramped up. She left me for a couple of hours and by the time she came back, I was fully dilated! No time to get to the birthing pool and not quite the birth I'd planned, but all went fine and my DS arrived healthy at 41+1. It really can suddenly ramp up at this stage. And if it doesn't, as PPs have said, whatever needs to happen to get baby out will happen. By the time it does, you don't tend to mind as much about your perfect birth plan etc. Your little one will be here. I used to focus on a date by which they would absolutely be here even if I went over by as much as they would allow. I think for you for instance, Baby will definitely be here before May. So you will be starting next month with little one in your arms, however these next few days unfold. Hold onto that 💗

Hi there, I am a midwife working on the labour. Firstly, you are not alone struggling with your feelings of anxiety and lots of unwarranted attention (I would ask your husband to reply on your behalf without passing on the messages tbh). Secondly, the midwives' diaries are full of women booked for an induction at 41+5 who have gone into labour at 41+3 and 41+4. So all is not lost. I suggest you definitely ask to move the sweep to an earlier date if there is a slot available- the evidence weather they work or not is quite patchy. If you end up being induced it will be done in stages. You will still be able to mobilise and decline epidural, no one can take this right away from you. I work on the labour ward. Even when our telemetry machines are both unavailables the wires on the regular baby monitoring machines are long enought to allow the woman to stand/sit on the ball. You might have to be very firm on this as sometimes it's a bit tricky to monitor the baby if the woman is not lying on the bed. However, it's very doable, so there is no reason your labour ward midwife won't be able to accommodate you (even if they have to attach a tiny clip to the tip of the baby's head to allow for better quality monitoring). You can choose to decline epidural before going on the hormonal (oxytocin) drip. The contractions are usually quite manageable for a few hours. Be mindful it would take some time (usually around 1-2 hours) to get the epidural if you change your mind. You can get an epidural even at 10 cm unless the midwife can see the tip of your baby's head - then it's truly too late. I suggest you go for some walks - this could help your baby's head to engage better. You might also sleep better. I have seen women going a very long way on the induction of labour pathway using TENS machine and gas&air- please consider buying/renting TENS machine unless your hospital provides them. I also suggest you order Inducing Labour: Making informed Decisions by Sarah Wickham (available on Amazon for £11). You could also give the book to one of your friends if it become no use to you by the time the book arrives. Another good book on inductions is Why Induction Mattes by Rachel Reeves (£7). Both books are written by midwives-researchers. I hope it helps

Thanks both! Just ended up having another little cry, I think the stress and the anxiety of the situation is getting to both me and my husband now. I thought I could keep spirits up but it's getting harder and harder with each day that passes. I've given the community midwife team a ring and left a message asking if my sweep can be brought forwards so will see what comes of that. And in the meantime I guess just try to come to terms with the fact that it's looking likely I will need to be induced! Not the birth I wanted but I guess we have no control over these things!

Historically, women had 2 options- to give birth or die in labour. We need to keep things in perspective. It's possible to have a good experience with an induction of labour. However it does help if you have a good understanding how induction works. Please do order one of the books I suggested earlier. You will be able to negotiate the induction better I believe. If your baby decides to arrive before 41+5 you can always send the book back 🙂

sweetpotato29 I was induced at 41+6 a pessary at night, then a drip the next day, but once my contractions started that was the end of any medical intervention bar gas and air, so still keep an open mind re your labour.

Hey all, contractions started last night at around 2am and are still going strong now. They're pretty spaced out and irregular so I'm just focusing on resting and staying mildly active to see if they progress. Hopefully this is it 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼 41 + 3 today

@sweetpotato29 aw best of luck! 🥰

I am so pleased for you. Best of luck!

It's happening OP!! These are the beginnings!

I had my daughter at 41+5 so I understand how you must have been feeling. Good luck 😉

Just given birth to the most beautiful baby boy! Born 27/04/2024 at 5.56pm 💙

2 days of contractions at home, then ended up with diamorphine, gas & air, epidural and ended in emergency c section.

Feeling overwhelmed, grateful, full of love, shattered, in pain - all the feelings! I can't believe he's here and he's perfect xx

@sweetpotato29 lovely news! Congratulations on the birth of your gorgeous baby boy 💙🥰

Congratulations! And thank you for update. Don't beat yourself up for having an emergency Caesarean (like lots of mums do). As a labour ward midwife I know the labour length and outcome depends on a size and position of the baby and size and shape of the woman's pelvis. So the combinations are endless. It seems you did everything right by mobilising as long as you could. However if your baby was in the awkward position, the odds were skewed against you. He is healthy and you are alive, that's amazing. If you are brave enough to have a baby in the future you may consider VBAC. Lots of women tell me they couldn't go through 2 days of labour again. However VBAC labours are quicker because they are managed very differently - any sign of labour not progressing smoothly and the woman is offered a Caesarean. This is to make it as safe as possible. Still 3 out of 4 women are successful. VBAC women also labour quicker because the woman's body remembers the previous labour. For now, just enjoy him and take all the pain killers offered to you ❤❤❤