No idea to keep the baby or not

[Darkav]

Hi all,

Please refer to my other thread before judging. I have a narcissistic slob of a partner who I was planning to leave this month however just found out I’m pregnant 6 weeks in.

I’m leaving him regardless but I am at a crossroad of whether to go ahead with the pregnancy or not.

I am against abortion however he coerced me into one last year and that has stuck with me but I would like to keep the baby for the sake of my 1.5 year old so he has someone as we have no one no family nothing it’s just me him and his dad. But on the other hand I don’t want another baby, not ready for one, not healthy enough for one, I haven’t been able to enjoy my toddler as my controlling partner doesn’t let me go out without making me feel shit. So I would love to just experience being a free mum and not have the financial stresses of 2 kids and go off work on mat etc just doesn’t seem feasible. But I feel like I’m being selfish and I’m afraid if I regret the decision.

I wouldn't have a baby with a man like. He'll be in your life for the next 18 years and beyond which sounds like a nightmare in itself.

Is your other child his as well?

Personally op I would sit down and try to do the maths. If you can make it work financially and you feel emotionally its doable for you, then I would go for it if that's what you want but I'd have a good think about how you can build up your support networks between now and baby arriving if you have been isolated up to now so you have a system around you. Sometimes men like that have a great way of alienating friends and family so maybe thinking if there's people you want to get back in touch with?

I think in your circumstances you'd be perfectly justified whatever choice you make.

The other child is his too, however he doesn’t do a fat lot for him probably changed 2 nappies in a few months. Just kind of plays with him every now and again and says “I love him so much” but when he cries and throws a tantrum his like “bro you’re such a dummy you’re so dumb just stop crying” etc (because he wants to sleep) but then says oh I love him he just is spoilt etc “you’ve spoilt him”

I really appreciate the last bit of this message because I feel so on edge about whatever I do I’m not doing the right thing either way :(

This is a horrible situation to be in I am so sorry this is happening. You can only make the decision that is right for you as there is no right or wrong. If you do want my opinion, based on what you have said about your current situation and health etc I would say to terminate the pregnancy :( as sad as that makes me it seems like you would actually being doing your sweet child a favour not bringing them into a world to face difficulties. Once you leave your partner you may find someone who is great and will want to have a child with them where you have full support. Any decision you make is a brave one so don’t be too harsh on yourself.

But on the other hand I don’t want another baby, not ready for one, not healthy enough for one.

I really think that is your answer. Sending you a big hug x