Coping with anxiety for a new pregnancy after early miscarriage?

[WaitingforRainbows9]

Hi everyone, I'm 5 weeks pregnant, so very early stages, after an early miscarriage back in February, which was devastating. I just wanted to see if anyone else has been in the same boat when it comes to all-consuming anxiety about miscarrying again?

I have a 19 month old daughter and wasn't nearly as anxious in the first trimester with her but I hadn't gone through a miscarriage at that stage. I'm testing obsessively. Since my line never darkened with the chemical/early miscarriage, I'm reassured by how dark my line is now. I tested positive at 9dpo and the line has got darker and darker since then. Also, Clear Blue digital says 3+ BUT the prospect of miscarrying is still weighing so heavily on my mind!

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you manage the anxiety, do you have any tips?

Hey!

Congratulations first of all!

I wanted to reply just to let you know you are not alone, unfortunately the anxiety doesn’t go away you just live with it and do everything you can to keep busy!

I had an early pregnancy loss at 5 weeks in January and another one at 5w5d again in February! (I don’t really like the term chemical pregnancy I think it diminishes the process that we go through as women!) I thought there was absolutely something wrong with me and I was distraught! (I am 32 and this will be my first baby)

We decided to have a break for a month as the emotional toll as you know was just too much at the time! But felt ready to try again, and I had my BFP on Sunday at 10dpo! this will be 3rd time lucky for us .. not getting my hopes up at all this time as I’m well aware of what can happen but my lines are very strong this time, last time they we very faint and never progressed!

So currently a little behind you at 3w4days but really hope you get your happy ending!! :) x

@DearDarcy , thank you for your response. It's comforting to hear when others are in similar situations.

It's such an emotional roller coaster, isn't it? First of all, congratulations on your current BFP! But I'm also so sorry to hear about your other losses. I agree with you about the term chemical pregnancy; it feels excruciatingly painful no matter how far along. We become mums once we see that positive, I think, and it was awful going through it once, let alone twice, so I'm sending you all best wishes and positivity that this is the one for you.

I found that about the lines too - with my Feb pregnancy, it was always faint and never darkened so that sounds positive for both of us!

I've booked for a reassurance scan in two weeks' time. Where I went for the scan after my first loss were very supportive and offered a reassurance scan next time around. That might help for you to put your mind at ease as well? Once they see a healthy heartbeat, the likelihood of miscarrying diminishes significantly.

xx

yep I'm fortunately now 16 weeks and had a MC last year. It's felt like forever since I got BFP! I'd really encourage you to stop testing. It won't change anything, and the tests can't predict the outcome. take each day as it comes, focus on what you can control and do things to distract yourself if you can.

@WaitingforRainbows9 hi lovely. First of all I’m so sorry for your loss

your story sounds all but identical to mine. MMC in feb of our beautiful twins, had an ERPC on 13th Feb & fell pregnant on my first cycle that started 16th march, which puts me 4w6d today

i absolutely share in your anxiety. I have a 21 month old son & no previous losses, he was my first pregnancy. However after the loss, i feel completely different now. Almost robbed of being able to enjoy it! The anxiety is awful

Was your daughter your first pregnancy? How did that go?

I’m here if you want to talk as we’re obviously at very similar stages. Are you in the UK? You could always try phoning EPU for an early scan, depends how you feel about that. They scanned me this morning & could see a sac but nothing else. Apparently very normal at this stage xx

@DearDarcy fingers crossed for a successful pregnancy for you! It sounds like we’re all at very similar stages of our pregnancy :) x

@WaitingforRainbows9 so sorry for your loss and for everyone else on this thread. In case you're interested, there is a lovely supportive thread here for pregnancy after loss that you might like. All the best with your rainbow pregnancies 🙏🏼🌈😊

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/pregnancy/5016264-pregnancy-after-loss-support?reply=134629307&utm_campaign=reply&utm_medium=share

@Peonies12 , thank you - and yes, you're right about the tests. I'm going to stop taking them now as I know it isn't the healthiest. Congratulations on reaching 16 weeks! x

@aimeeeleanor thank you and sorry for your losses too. The anxiety is such a struggle but it's always comforting to hear when someone is going through something similar.

Yes, my daughter was my first pregnancy, and it was smooth other than her having IUGR. (She was a dinky 2 kg when born but completely healthy and has grown into a thriving toddler despite being so tiny!) I hope they'll keep a close eye on this one if everything turns out okay.

I am in the UK, yes, and have booked a reassurance scan for 1st May - fingers crossed that will show a healthy heartbeat! I'm already quite anxious about but luckily my husband has that day off so he'll come with in case.

That's great they've seen a sac for you - will you have another scan, do you think before the 12 week? xx

Thank you @SnookyPook , I will definitely take a look xx