I had two early losses before this pregnancy so getting over the first trimester was a hurdle within itself, now I'm finding myself feeling just as anxious at almost 18 weeks because I'm so scared of going into premature labour like my mum did.
Her waters broke with her first baby, my older brother, at 19 weeks and then she had him at 26 weeks, I was born at 27 weeks also because of PPROM and then my sister at 34 weeks, also PPROM. They didn't give her any explanation at the time but she was later diagnosed with adenomyosis, which they think is probably what caused her premature births every time.
At my 16 week appointment, I tried to ask my midwife if my mum's experience puts me at higher risk but she very quickly brushed me off with a "no", but I know this isn't true as there is thought to be a genetic link between both premature births and also adenomyosis, I haven't been diagnosed with this but my mum wasn't diagnosed until her mid-thirties either and I'm only in my early twenties.
I probably sound like a mad woman but I'm just so scared of losing my baby boy, every ache, pain, bit of pressure or discharge that seems a little different is absolutely petrifying me and I'm just so miserable, I wish I could enjoy my pregnancy.