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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Would you put in a complaint?

19 replies

yhk · 15/04/2024 06:36

My wife recently gave birth to our little one.

There were several instances which I thought were off and didn't seem quite right.

My wife had a very long first stage of labour, and couldn't handle the pain at home. I brought her into the triage and she was admitted onto the maternity ward. Throughout the 16 hours before she was 4cm dilated, the contractions were absolute agony for her. The midwives/doctors refused to give her gas and air (or an epidural) before she was 4cm dilated. All they gave her was an injection of Pethidine every 4-6 hours (which didn't help much).

In desperation, my wife begged for a c-section. The midwife called in the doctor, who said that it was possible for her to have a c-section but they wouldn't be able to do it until the following day (this was around 8PM), and by that time she would've "given birth naturally so it's best to stick with the natural birth".

Once my wife was 4cm dilated and finally moved to the delivery suite and had the epidural, she was okay. Fast forward many hours and the midwife performed an examination, and then went to get the senior midwife to check something. The senior midwife then called in a doctor. I overheard their conversation (which they didn't know I could hear), and I heard them talking about how they didn't know when her waters had broke, scrutinising a log that a previous midwife had made about it. My wife wasn't told this, but was told that her temperature was rising, the baby's heart rate was rising and that it's recommended that she goes into theatre for an emergency c-section. This was performed.

Fast forward to day 2 on the ward post delivery. The doctor doing the morning rounds informed my wife that as her temperature had spiked throughout the night, it's recommended that she stayed in on IV antibiotics. My wife started crying and the doctor said "well, this isn't a prison. You can self discharge". I asked the doctor whether the infection could've been caused by the fact that the midwives lost track of when her waters had broken. The doctor seemed a bit sheepish and said that she "saw that in her notes, and she will raise it" (whatever that means). The doctor then said to me "I will speak to the registrar, you seem like a responsible man, she can probably go home today on oral antibiotics and you can monitor her temperature at home". I told the doctor that I don't need to be placated, if she needs to stay in, she stays in. Anyway, the doctor said it would be fine. Before my wife was discharged, the same doctor asked to look at her c-section wound. She said "why has nobody taken off the dressing?". My wife and I thought it was a padded dressing, but it turns out there was severe swelling under it. It looked like she was wearing a bumbag. She was still discharged on oral antibiotics. After 5 hours of being home, her temperature reached 38.9 and I brought her back to the hospital.

After two days, she had to have another surgery. They reopened the wound and cleared out all of the blood clots. What followed was 8 days of IV antibiotics for 24 hours, no temperature, step down to oral antibiotics and her temperature spiked until finally her temperature was under control on oral antibiotics. There was one instance where a midwife almost overdosed her on Co-Dydramol (2 doses within 1 hour).

She was then finally discharged.

Do you think this warrants a complaint?

OP posts:
fairymary87 · 15/04/2024 06:44

Omg goodness your poor wife!!! please please complain. There have been some serious mistakes made here. Primally the lost of noting what time the waters were broken, and no one checking her wound dressing. I wish you both the best and that you can move on. This is not what it's meant to be like. I completely understand what it's like when it goes wrong and you have to go back in. Hope you all are doing well xx

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 15/04/2024 08:11

Yes it absolutely warrants a complaint, it is disgusting what has happened and how you were treated and how much neglect there has been!

BeakyPIinders · 15/04/2024 08:28

I wish you had been there for me, you sound lovely.
Yes, complain. That's just not good enough, your poor wife. And she needs to witness you standing up for her, it will help with any ptsd she may get from it

Good luck!

UnravellingTheWorld · 15/04/2024 10:18

That is horrendous treatment. Yes, absolutely complain.

TupperCare · 15/04/2024 10:30

This is horrific. I’m so sorry to your wife and you. Please complain.

Sa11yCinnamon · 15/04/2024 10:48

Absolutely, yes. Really sorry you and your wife went through that and I hope she's recovering well now.

LizzeyBenett · 15/04/2024 11:00

Sounds like negligence all around I personally wouldn't have left the hospital with a wound and a temp so much risk for sepsis. Yes I'd definitely raise concerns about her care overall

Olika · 15/04/2024 11:04

Your wife's and your experience sounds horrible. Definitely complain.

blackcherryconserve · 15/04/2024 11:22

Your poor wife. Thank goodness she had you there to fight her corner but even so the abysmal care she received is frightening. Complain, complain, complain.

Bramblecrumble22 · 15/04/2024 11:43

I would complain, I wish I had with my first birth, bad handovers and notes. I had my gestation marked as 40 weeks when it was 36 and a Dr started to talk about the antibiotics baby had just finished (she never had them, different baby). I would especially complain about the wound. I assume you are not a nurse or similar. I remember a midwife for me also saying that exact phrase: 'we can't keep you, it's not a prison', we were deciding/ preparing to self discharge then they sectioned me over the weekend... So for me that phrase means you really should stay for your own benefit. But in your case it sounds like the Dr did properly discharge you.

littlemousebigcheese · 15/04/2024 11:57

Yes, complain. You sound like a great, supportive partner

yhk · 15/04/2024 14:12

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I've never been an in-patient, or thankfully have never had a loved one require in-patient treatment, and I have always trusted what clinicians have told me.

I'm ashamed to say that even though I felt things weren't going right, I still trusted what the doctors / midwives were telling her and didn't query things... well, up until the point that I realised she was in an endless cycle of infection and nothing seemed to be being done.

I was then firm with them, but never rude.

When her wound dressing was completely saturated with blood, I kept on at them until it was changed (even after I raised this with a doctor who agreed it needs to be changed every 4 hours rather than once a day). If her medications were late, I kept on at them until they gave them to her. Persistently nagging them seems to get things moving quicker. Sometimes I was met with sarcastic remarks, but they would soon apologise when I reminded them that the reason my wife was in the hospital was because somebody made a mistake. I'm a very placid person and I'm never aggressive, but I can now see why some people lose their temper in this situation. Not that it's acceptable, it never is, but I can see how some people can lose their rag.

My wife is indifferent about complaining - her concern was baby and herself coming home safe and healthy. I on the other hand do not want to have what I witnessed happen to another woman. I have never seen anyone in so much pain and distress in all of my life.

If you are pregnant and are reading this, please query everything that doesn't feel right. If you are refused gas and air before 4cm dilation, keep on at them. I was told by an OB doctor several days after the birth that refusal of gas and air before 4cm dilation isn't an NHS guideline/policy, and that he would've personally given it to her had he been there.

OP posts:
yhk · 15/04/2024 14:16

Bramblecrumble22 · 15/04/2024 11:43

I would complain, I wish I had with my first birth, bad handovers and notes. I had my gestation marked as 40 weeks when it was 36 and a Dr started to talk about the antibiotics baby had just finished (she never had them, different baby). I would especially complain about the wound. I assume you are not a nurse or similar. I remember a midwife for me also saying that exact phrase: 'we can't keep you, it's not a prison', we were deciding/ preparing to self discharge then they sectioned me over the weekend... So for me that phrase means you really should stay for your own benefit. But in your case it sounds like the Dr did properly discharge you.

That's absolutely terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you.

Yeah, the doctor did discharge her. After they said that she would be fine to go home on oral antibiotics, I said to her that she will not be self-discharging. The doctor said no, it's not a self-discharge, and she was given her paperwork. When we returned to the hospital that same day, another doctor was confused as to why she was discharged.

A phrase that I encountered a lot with different doctors was "I wasn't here when XYZ happened, so I can't account for that"...

OP posts:
BodyKeepingScore · 15/04/2024 14:19

Goodness me it sounds like your poor wife definitely wasn't given the level of care she should have received. I'd absolutely put in a complaint in your shoes.

yhk · 15/04/2024 14:23

Sa11yCinnamon · 15/04/2024 10:48

Absolutely, yes. Really sorry you and your wife went through that and I hope she's recovering well now.

She seems to be over the worst of it now thankfully.

She's been home for around 2 weeks and finished her course of oral antibiotics 7 days after being home (even though they gave her 3 boxes of a 7 day course? I had to query that but it was a mistake).

The way the surgeons stitched up the wound allowed drainage from one side. This seeped a blood/serum type fluid, but closed up after around a week and a half. Now that it's closed there is some swelling again (not nearly as much as before though). I took her back to the hospital, and the doctor said he wasn't overly concerned but took bloods and has arranged an ultrasound which is in about a week from now.

OP posts:
Sa11yCinnamon · 15/04/2024 14:27

yhk · 15/04/2024 14:12

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I've never been an in-patient, or thankfully have never had a loved one require in-patient treatment, and I have always trusted what clinicians have told me.

I'm ashamed to say that even though I felt things weren't going right, I still trusted what the doctors / midwives were telling her and didn't query things... well, up until the point that I realised she was in an endless cycle of infection and nothing seemed to be being done.

I was then firm with them, but never rude.

When her wound dressing was completely saturated with blood, I kept on at them until it was changed (even after I raised this with a doctor who agreed it needs to be changed every 4 hours rather than once a day). If her medications were late, I kept on at them until they gave them to her. Persistently nagging them seems to get things moving quicker. Sometimes I was met with sarcastic remarks, but they would soon apologise when I reminded them that the reason my wife was in the hospital was because somebody made a mistake. I'm a very placid person and I'm never aggressive, but I can now see why some people lose their temper in this situation. Not that it's acceptable, it never is, but I can see how some people can lose their rag.

My wife is indifferent about complaining - her concern was baby and herself coming home safe and healthy. I on the other hand do not want to have what I witnessed happen to another woman. I have never seen anyone in so much pain and distress in all of my life.

If you are pregnant and are reading this, please query everything that doesn't feel right. If you are refused gas and air before 4cm dilation, keep on at them. I was told by an OB doctor several days after the birth that refusal of gas and air before 4cm dilation isn't an NHS guideline/policy, and that he would've personally given it to her had he been there.

Please don't feel ashamed, you should be able to trust health professionals. And it sounds like you're doing everything right by your wife.

mummyh2016 · 15/04/2024 18:05

Absolutely complain.
The only thing I would say is in my experience it is normal not to be provided with any pain relief until 4cm as that's when your classed as being in established labour. I'm shocked a doctor has told you that it isn't NHS policy as I genuinely thought it was. I'm not downplaying how much pain she would've been in before 4cm by the way, in my first labour I was vomiting due to the pain when I was only 3cm so I completely get it.

Greybeardy · 15/04/2024 18:52

Has your wife asked for a debrief for the whole birth experience as a first move? It might explain some of the rationale behind the decision making/ give an opportunity to provide some feedback and see how they respond before your partner decides if she want's to complain.

It may be that if they can't explain/respond to your concerns then a complaint would help your wife, but it may be that what really does sound like a flipping horrible time was more a combination of bad luck and suboptimal communication than entirely due to negligence if that makes sense.

MrsTeepee · 15/04/2024 22:55

My DH wanted to complain after the birth of our first. I really didn't want to, just wanted to move on and focus on the baby. In all honesty it was too hard to process at the time and I didn't want to deal with the emotions of the birth going 'wrong' on top of dealing with a baby. I think I still felt responsible somehow too. We had a lot of heated discussions and I put off DH again and again. Baby is nearly 2 and I'm now in the headspace to complain, but apparently you have 12 months from the point of being aware of an issue to complain (you may need to check this, but I've been told it anecdotally).

Whether it wants a complaint, in my view yes, it does. Whether you should complain, that's up to you and your wife.

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