Hello there :)
I wanted to share my home birth story with mums who are considering it. I hope it can help. I have three kids and I wish I knew certain things when I had my first.
My first birth was an emergency C-section. I have not considered home birth at that time. I thought I would give birth in the hospital and all would be fine.
My second child - this time I decided to go better prepared. I decided to hire a doula who could prepare me for the birth and support me during labour.
I started looking for a doula a bit too late i.e. when 7 months pregnant. A lot of doulas were already booked or away for summer holiday. I had a small pool of doulas to choose from. I chose a doula who had a lot of experience and I was expecting she would prepare me well. I was surprised when she would not do that. She would rather have a chat with me during our sessions. My intuition was telling me she was not the right choice but at that point it was too late to replace her.
My second labour was very intense. We started at home. I have signed up with my local midwifes (Home Birth team) I had a tense machine and doula was applying pressure to my back. We then started filling the birthing pool. My husband asked doula how the liners should be attached and she said she did not know. I was shocked as she definitely attended many births and she knew. She just wasn't bothered to help?!
I was in a lot of pain and even though I had a doula and a midwife I had no support from them. I needed some suggestions as to what else I can try to help with labour and pain. Midwife was just sitting there and took a role of an observer and doula was failing me as well.
After 8 hours of very painful contractions I decided to move to the hospital for epidural. The midwife and doula drove me there. I couldn't walk too fast and stopped at each contraction. Midwife walked 6 meters ahead as if she was in hurry. Doula walked beetwen me and midwife. I could not understand what happened there. Hospital staff were all amazing and helpful both during delivery and then at the ward. It ended with forceps.
All of the above was a good lesson for me what not to do next time and how to at least try and choose the right ''support team''.
Third birth was fast and easy home birth. I would not have time to go to the hospital even if I wanted :)
Doula this time - I set my expectations very clear this time to a make sure she knew I did not want to end up like last time. I told her that I was let down and I was scared what would happen this time, should I be in a lot of pain again. We created a clear plan of action. I emphasised to her that I wanted to move more during labour and I need her help and encouragement with that. I told her that I need suggestions and help if I get stuck and go into panic mode. I needed active help rather than observers. She gave me hypnobirthing recordings which I listened to every day. We practised breathing techniques which helped me during contractions. It stopped my fear and I become confident.
Above all though, this time I decided that no matter what happens, it is my body and my pain and I have to deal with it myself. Help from doula and midwife would be great but I did not relied on that heavily. I made sure I practiced breathing techniques. Printed pictures with positions I wanted to take during labour. Sipping water constantly. I was preparing as if I was planning to birth on my own.
It all happened really fast. It felt as if my body was preparing to do it before the actual labour started. My contractions started in the evening but were mild and I slept a bit until they became more intense around 3am. They were certainly very uncomfortable but not excruciating. I kept using my breathing techniques and sipping water constantly. Around 6:30am I asked the midwife and doula to come over. I kept them updated when it started the evening before so they were on a stand by. Then around 7 am it all became very intense for about 10 mins and baby came out. I did not push her out. I felt how she dropped, crowned, turned and came out. That happened very fast. 5 mins max. Midwife arrived as the baby was crowning. Doula arrived after the delivery as it all happened so fast. This time it was all amazing. Midwife was wonderful, kind and gentle. Umbilical cord was cut by my husband after it stopped pulsating. There was no rush with anything and it felt like midwife was there for us. She was not running around other labours as it might have been in the hospital.
It was just all perfect! I am grateful it happened this way.
Interesting fact is that this time I had the same group of midwifes (from home birth). I was praying I would not end up with the same midwife as last time. It turned out that just around my due date that midwife had a minor car acciddent. She was fine but had to repair the car and couldn't attend any home births. I was lucky that other midwife, who I really liked, attended my birth this time.
Home birth and why I decided to even consider it.
Initially, I was worried that if there are any complications home birth might not be safe. However, it is only offered to women with straightforward pregnancies, no health issues and the baby needs to be head down. Midwifes are trained to spot if labour is not progressing as it should. They keep checking baby's heartbeat to make sure baby is happy and not in distress. They transfer the mother to the hospital if any problems arise and before it escalates. Home birth does not mean you must deliver at home. For me, it was an additional option in case all goes easy and well and I actually can safely deliver at home. I was opened to the possibility of transferring to the hospital if need be as I would not risk my baby's health.
I wish I knew more with my first one. I hope expecting mums will find my story useful and encouraging :) Preparation was a key thing for me as it massively helps no matter the place of labour.
Good luck to all expecting mums! x