Accidentally pregnant with a 14 month old. Survival tips?

[Lemonmiracle]

So... I have a crazy active 14 month old and long story short some failed contraception has led me here asking for help 😂 I've been feeling unwell (vomiting and constipation) and had no AF for a while but they're irregular anyway. I'm 29 and don't think I remember vomiting a single time before I got pregnant and then I had HG with my first DD. ABSOLUTELY TRAUMATIC. So the nausea and vomiting made me take a test which shocked me. Any pregnancy survival tips? I'm so sleepy and feel guilty for sending my toddler to play with nanny. I also don't feel I will have hypermesis this time fingers crossed but it's early days. This time eating curbs the nausea but I don't want to turn into a house as I haven't even lost the baby weight from DD :(

Congratulations, just wanted to come on and say that I also got pregnant when my son was 14 months old, he was also very active so it was tough. I found the second trimester to be the easiest, the sickness and exhaustion passed and things became more manageable.

Don't feel guilty for accepting support from family, you need rest too! Try to see it from your daughters perspective too- a fun day playing with nanny!

I don't have any real advice for the pregnancy side just want to reassure you that you will get through this, and to be kind to yourself in the meantime! Accept the help, nap when you can, mints/chewing gum for nausea (this saved me) and best of luck with everything :)

Ps the 23 month age gap is lovely and i'm so glad i gave my son a sibling, their bond is already amazing and it was all totally worth it in the end.

The thing that you need to remember is that the age gap isn't 14 months, DD will be virtually 2, she'll be very different, and that will be, well, a bit easier!

Good luck, and congratulations, you're going to be absolutely fine!

I do realise you're going to have to get through the pregnancy with a very little one, but it's the exact same gap as I had, and it's not as bad at you think!

I got pregnant when my first was 12 months, didn't plan on getting pregnant the first month trying after taking so long the first time!! I'm 27 weeks now and it's been hard with an immobile toddler but we're getting there and as I've got bigger he's started walking so it's made it easier on my back!

I had HG with DC1 and got pregnant with DC2 when DC1 was 12 months. I was quite sick the 2nd time round (5-10 times a day) but not as bad as my first (30+ times a day!). It wasn't easy for the first few months of pregnancy but we got through. The plus side is DC1 had no awareness / memory of me being sick - I think an older toddler / child would have found it quite scary listening to me gag, retch and vomit so much, so in that respect I'm glad the age gap between my children is small.
Let others help. If out with friends, I knew I could abandon DC1 with them without having to say much and dash to the loo to be sick. They were a great help.
My mum had DC1 twice a week. I didn't feel guilty. It meant my child had a more active day than I could offer at that time and my mum was happy to spend time with my child.
The days I was at home on my own with DC, we ploughed through an activity out the house like swimming or soft play in the morning which meant a long nap in the afternoon (for both of us). I was wiped out by 11am so I was lucky that DC1 would have an early lunch then sleep until 2-3pm. When they got up, I'd set up some toys in the babyproofed living room and veg on the sofa as being upright was difficult by this point of the day.
Make sure you have somewhere safe to plonk the baby if you need to rush off to be sick. A cot is fine if they don't climb, or else a playpen.
Try to stay hydrated (little sips often) and nibble on food throughout the day if you find meals hard.
Good luck!

I found myself pregnant with a 6 month old.. so yeah a crazy small gap and at times I was pulling my hair out but it's all fine in the end 🤪

@AlishaLouise thank you! I guess I needed that reassurance that I'm not a bad mum for being less interactive with her. The first trimester is killing me. Its lovely to hear that your DC have such a great bond, its getting me excited for my DD :)

@TokyoSushi am I allowed to claim double baby brain right now 😁 because when I posted this I didn't even stop to think it'll be a 2 year age gap and DD will have developed loads by the time baby is born!

@justanotherlaura I feel you on that one. Took me ages to conceive DD and this time even using protection didn't stop it happening.

@westcountrywoman very true, my DD thinks I'm being silly mummy when I'm throwing up and stands next to me laughing her little head off. It's so cute actually haha and usually cheers me up.
I'm in the exact same boat as you. First pregnancy sick 25/30 times a day sometimes more and this time about 4 times a day which feels like a treat in comparison. Thanks for the tips also

@Whereland wow hats off to you! On the flip side your kiddies will be super close in age growing up and probably be the best of friends 😊

It gets easier, I promise you!

I am about 17w pregnant with number 2, mt first was 15mo when we found out, and although we knew it was a possibility and wasn't technically an accident it still came as a massive shock, as our first took a long time to conceive and we only had unprotected sex once or twice. Anyway...the first trimester was rough, not gonna lie...I ended up having to put him in nursery for extra days, get my mum down to help here and there and my husband had to have several days annual leave. I didn't have HG but the 'normal' nausea and some vomiting was hard enough. Please don't feel guilty about not interacting as much or getting help - no doubt, your toddler won't notice half as much as you think they will, they will be fine. We absolutely upped screen time - previously we were only using TV for nappy changes but in first trimester he got whole 20-30min episodes of stuff (sometimes several) just so I could get through the afternoon.

Things have got massively better for me in second trimester and I hope that happens for you too. I am scared about third trimester, especially as I got PGP last time and frankly my body is far far weaker and probably if I'm completely honest not completely recovered from the last pregnancy/birth/exhaustion of the last 18mo, but I'll face that when I get there - at least for me I'll be off work quite early as I'm term time only and due in September so I'll not have much work from week 32 onwards.

You'll manage, even if its tough
Congratulations! By the time they are here, your oldest will be almost 2 years which is a pretty common gap and doable (although i am sure hard!) and will in time work out as a lovely age gap.

@Aubyone I had pgp/spd with my first!!! I completely forgot but now I'm also dreading it. However like you said I shouldn't be ashamed about getting help and I'm truly grateful my mum/sister and mil (aswell as DH which was an obvious one) are always willing to do whatever to help. So nice to hear someone else has upped the screen time because we have full 'Timothy goes to school' episodes on now haha.

Congratulations to you also, I'm sure our DC will be the best of friends with their siblings :)