Gender ("Sex") Dilemma

[HelpOrHinder]

I had my NHS 20 week scan 2 weeks ago. Everything was thankfully fine with baby and they asked if I wanted to find out the baby's sex, to which I said yes. However baby wasn't playing ball and by the end of the scan, the sonographer basically said "I can't see for certain but because there's no obvious boy bits I'm seeing, I'm going to say girl". This has really annoyed me and I'm still thinking about it all now. Before the scan I wasn't actually bothered as I don't have a preference but now that's been said its eating me alive wanting a definite answer. I'm struggling to actually picture my baby at the moment because I'm too concerned about are they a boy or girl! How can i prepare completely for baby when i could get all the items ready for them to be wrong colour etc. It's silly I know but I really wish the sonographer just said baby's not playing ball so we will just leave it as unknown. Why make an assumption. As you can tell I'm an overthinker anyways and this is just setting me on a spiral.

Would you pay for another scan in these circumstances to get a definite answer now?

Get another scan if you're bothered.
I'm also in the camp of didn't find out - I quite enjoyed the not knowing until the baby actually arrived. Had lots of nice colourful baby clothes. Even crazy enough to dress my baby girl in blue..

Our trust won't tell you the gender at the NHS scans..I went for a fetal medicine scan at a neighbouring hospital and she asked if we wanted to know so it must vary. We had a private scan at 16 weeks anyway more due to anxiety following a miscarriage and long IVF journey. It's a personal choice, if you want to know for sure get a private scan.

Book a private scan if it’s bothering you so much. Many do that nowadays and there are different price points depending on the kind of clinic you go to.

Contrary to what many seem to believe, they aren’t obliged to tell you your baby’s sex. Indeed, I’ve heard some trusts don’t at all. It’s an anomaly scan, not a “gender scan”. Please be happy that this is all you left this scan concerned about. Many don’t and will sadly receive bad news and the baby’s sex is quickly forgotten about while they worry about their baby’s condition and health.

Sorry to be a killjoy here but some perspective is definitely needed here OP.

Look I get everyone's points about gender, sexism and the whole people dont always get great news at these scans. I have been there myself.

I came here for advice to a question that is going round in my head. It's quite clear this forum is pretty hypocritical, there's millions of threads that ask about gender guesses and nub theories etc, and no one bats an eye lid, offers their full congratulations, support and guesses, yet I'm getting flamed, called an awful parent, sexist, implying I'm stupid for asking the obvious and thoughtless for simply asking a question for people's opinions. I'd really hate for someone to actually be in a vulnerable MH state here 🙄

Thanks to those who actually offered kindness.

Don’t be sorry for how you feel I like to be organise and wouldn’t want to put my son in pink if I was having a boy so I completely understand iv books. Private scan if you wanting to get prepared

I would feel totally the same and would pay for a private scan to confirm. And I completely agree with your point about wanting to get clothes and baby bits, I had a girl last time and had a whole range of colours, and having a boy this time also having a range of colours but as much as there are neutral things out there a lot of it is either obviously girly or boyish, so it's nice to know where to lean towards.

Also ignore all the posters harping on about colour and gender and sexism, it's all personal preference whether you like buying bits that look traditionally for boys or for girls. Some don't which is fine, but a lot of people do. Hence the different categories on shops "boys" and "girls" and "unisex," literally catering for what everyone wants.

Do you fall down a lot?

What an intelligent response 🙄 sorry I don't want to dress my son in pink unicorns

It was more that you think shops display it that way because consumers want it, rather than them pushing a sexist agenda for profit. (Parents with boys and girls will have to buy twice if parents are in fear of penises falling off at the mere suggestion of non-blue/green clothes going near their sons.)