Advice on 4 under 4

[Shaun3]

Hello! I have recently found out I’m pregnant with baby no.4 I have a one year old, a 2 year old and a 6 month old. This baby wasn’t planned but I love being a mum and I’m happy about the news. My family however aren’t supportive about the pregnancy. I’m a single mum and all my births are via c- section. I was wondering if anyone out there has experience anything similar to me or had 4 c-sections in 4 years. I’m worried my body won’t handle another surgery and obviously being a mum to three I need to be healthy for them.

I don't think there'll be many people in a similar situation unfortunately.

No life experiences

My children know they need to be married and in a stable relationship before having children,

Unsurprisingly they have never had any 'accidents' despite being
Sexually active since 17 ..

That's nasty and judgemental. There's no indication the earlier pregnancies weren't planned.

I've had four caesarean sections, but they were spaced over 13 years, not four years.

Wow.

You sound a bit creepy. Keeping tracks of your children’s sex lives 🤢

Edited to add. The “no accidents” could be down to them not telling you about all the options they took. 🤐

I was replying to this comment the OP made: ‘I did use protection but obviously it didn’t work well enough’. I didn’t realise she meant from this that only the 4th pregnancy wasn’t planned.

Best speaking to your midwife about the implications of this. My four are 16, 13, 8 and 6 so very spaced out! I couldn't imagine having them as close as that😱

Yes I know, that's my point. I read the same thing and thought 'could be only this pregnancy only', whereas you jumped to conclusions to such an extent you included it in your reply.

That is being judgemental and then the poor OP had to reply explaining the situation to you

I don't think you can see me waving to you, as you're so high on that pedestal of yours👋

No need to come across as perfect. Watch out, you might get tripped up one of these days....

Not an ideal position for OP to find herself in, but she does have her options and that she be discussed with appropriate health care professionals.

Well I thought it was a possibility due to the 3 very small age gaps after each c section which she appears worried about so worth mentioning.

Yes same. I get it now.

OP you need to speak to a midwife or your GP urgently. This is going to put a massive strain on your body so soon after surgery

I think you need to get a medical opinion sooner rather than later so that you have more time to make a decision. Obviously only you know if you can cope with that many small children.

I’d see what the hospital say, it’s most important to look after your health especially as single mum, and not risk that, even if that means discontinuing this pregnancy

I’ve had two elective c-sections 19 months apart and my consultant very seriously told me after my last that I needed to wait a minimum of waiting two years before even trying again and that if I got pregnant there would be a good chance baby would be premature and the pregnancy would be classed as high risk. My first was five weeks premature and it’s a really hard experience that I wouldn’t wish to experience again. I would think very hard about whether to continue with this pregnancy. Personally I would feel the risks are too high and adding a fourth child will negatively affect your existing three in terms of time, finances and if they end up needing additional support it will add an enormous amount of pressure on everyone.

Why has every post highlighting how dangerous this is for mum and baby been deleted by @mnhq ?

They were all troll hunting.

I think you need medical advice on the possible impact of so many surgeries. I would say 4 so close together will be hard work and people can be arseholes about larger families but that’s just because they don’t have experience of it and seem to have the need to put others down.

For me, I think the number of children would be ok, it’s the caesarean surgery I would be very worried about. I’d speak to a medical professional asap and go from there - I don’t think I would risk it.

@Shaun3 congratulations my sister has more children than u and last baby was her 6th c section this time after the section she had her tubes tied like u loves being a mum and if she could have natural she would of had more!!! She was fine with all her c section and last one was 1 year gap between last baby. The doctors did say she can't have any more c sections now so that's why she got them tied ! So she has 6 heathy happy kids and she is heathy and her c sections where fine x