Monitoring fetal movement is so stressful!

[ct90]

Hi ladies, does anyone else find monitoring fetal movement to be extremely stressful? Most providers seem to give out the advice to be in tune with your baby’s unique movement pattern but 1) this is sooo difficult as an FTM, and especially in the second trimester and 2) most pregnant people I’ve spoken to and most posts I’ve read on here and Reddit seem to indicate that so many babies do not actually develop a predictable pattern.

Im currently 25 weeks and have been feeling baby since 18 weeks. I feel movement every day but it’s not predictable, nor does it follow a pattern. Some days baby is super active, other days she’s “lazy”, especially when I’m moving around a lot. If I followed the advice, I would be in for reduced/changed movement every week! Where do you draw your own personal line? How are you coping with the stress of following this (seemingly not very accurate) advice?

I thought baby's movements didn't "settle" until 30 weeks or so.

My DD was unpredictable except for early evening when she'd go a bit crazy. As long as I got the crazy evening bit I was fairly chill about the rest of the day.

I didn't actively monitor for this reason. It made my anxiety go crazy. My approach was just - if I noticed I hadn't felt movements in a while, I'd tune in and wait for the next one to reassure myself. I did go in once for a check and of course baby started moving as soon as I got there. Solidarity OP- it's really difficult!

Don’t worry too much OP you’re still a bit early to be expecting baby to have any regular pattern of movement/reduced movement. I believe the threshold now for the CTG checks is 28 weeks, before that it can be totally normal not to feel baby consistently because they are still small etc. X

Yes I hear you, I am 31 weeks pregnant with twins and some days I get lots of movement and others they are so quiet. I'm a nervous wreck! Especially with 2, if one is moving the other isn't and then I worry about that one. I don't have advice, just keep an eye on it and see if anything triggers their movement? If you are concerned then go get checked out. Better to be safe then sorry.

Thanks all for sharing your experiences! It’s relieving to know we’re all in the same about (despite being an anxious one haha). @Newnamesameoldlurker good advice, I’ll try and do the same as much as possible!

@stackhead @Mrsttcno1 I know in some places they say to monitor patterns/count kicks from 28 weeks (such as the countthekicks app) but in the UK, or at least the hospital I’m at, they actually say learn your baby’s movement from the time you start feeling them and come in at any time this changes, no matter how far along you are, so people in their early 20 weeks will have the same “pressure” to monitor as those in their their trimester. I find it hard to understand how different geographies can have such different guidelines!

@Sealover123 sending a big hug as I can imagine with twins it must be doubly difficult! Yes, I would definitely go in if I felt majorly stressed, I’m still trying to gauge when stress becomes being paranoid.

Ah I see @ct90 honestly at 25 weeks I wouldn’t worry. They aren’t even able to do the CTG monitoring until 26+ weeks due to the baby simply being smaller. As baby gets bigger it is much easier to “know” the pattern, I’m nearly 40 weeks now and I’d say from about 32 weeks ish you really can’t miss a quiet/reduced period of time because their movements are very very noticeable and impossible to miss by then x

Thank you so much @Mrsttcno1 , this is incredibly reassuring! I’m looking forward to that time ❤️

It is lovely @ct90 but when I’m lying in bed now with tiny feet jammed in my ribs I do sometimes miss the days of kicks being just a little flutter😂 good luck with the rest of your pregnancy! X

Pregnant Women- only women can be pregnant.

That seems odd advice that early as it would be unusual to be able to have any routine pattern because of how small they are and the way they can move so much without being felt dependant on positioning.

I remember a few 20 week ultrasounds having to drink ice water and have chocolate to get them to change position for the second morphed so they could complete all checks etc. Sometimes I was told ‘that’s done it, look at them going crazy now’ and while I could see movement on the screen, I honestly could not actually feel a thing, so …… It’s only later once their size to available space starts becoming quite restricted that you can get what’s normal and patterns.

@Mrsttcno1 hahahah oh gosh I can imagine!! But also so reassuring, pregnancy is an anxiety roller coaster isn’t it 😂

@HoppingPavlova that’s what I thought too, but my provider specifically told me not to wait until the third trimester, I wonder if it’s NHS guidance throughout the UK or my particular provider.

@slipperytiger thanks, you can go hate somewhere else! 😉

I hear you! I'm 29 weeks and still no pattern. I spoke to consultant when I had an appointment and midwife they both said as long as you feel 'regular' movement then not to worry..but if you are concerned that's what triage are for and if you have a gut feeling something is wrong then get checked out. Easier said than done but it did reassure me a little.
They did a Doppler there and then baby was moving loads but I just couldn't feel it, sometimes they are just in a different position.
I have had some really quiet days but find if I lie down and concentrate I usually feel something.

Mine became reliable in the evening from 25/26 weeks onwards. The morning and afternoon could be silent or the odd movement, but he always moved in the evening.

At 31 weeks I had reduced movements that I was sure about because he didn’t move at all in the evening. I even had a midwife appointment in the morning that same day, so I heard his heartbeat and yet by the evening I was still concerned. I went in to Mac the next morning to be checked. I’m glad I didn’t just write it off due to it all being ok at the appointment which is something I would usually do.

Very long story short he was fine but I was developing preeclampsia. I only found out due to the hospital stay from reduced movements where they picked up high bp. Maybe he felt the change? Maybe it was a coincidence. We were checked weekly until I had him at 35 weeks, due to preeclampsia getting worse and he completely stopped moving that day. DS is now a healthy happy 1 year old.

Don’t hesitate to go in if you are concerned. They would rather see you and everything be fine rather than the alternative.

All that said I never counted kicks. I only went on the movements. I think the hospital said to go on the pattern that’s familiar to you.

DD1 just never moved in utero - just the odd kick/wriggle once or twice a day. She was a sedentary child who loved curling up with a book. She's hasn't changed now she's an adult.

DD2 never stopped moving in utero to the point where I couldn't sleep. She grew up to be a sporty child, always on the go, and as an adult, has a very active job.

My DD (now 2.5) wasn't a very active baby...it was a HUGE deal for me whenever I did feel her move though and remember seeing my belly actually move a few times (once on video!)
I also had an anterior placenta though so she was kicking that instead of me, which explained why I wasn't feeling her as much.
I remember feeling very anxious and went to the maternity unit once and hospital once to check everything was ok as I hadn't really felt her move - mostly because I'd had a MMC the previous year. Even towards the end of my pregnancy, I don't remember noticing a pattern of movements or anything.

I'm pregnant with my fourth and have never monitored movement. I would only worry if I didn't feel them for a while.

Echoing what others have said about it being too soon for you to have a regular pattern. It is likely baby is moving all the time but you’re not able to feel or notice it when you are moving too. The baby I am carrying now always kicks in response to loud noises or music so I would worry if there was something loud and I didn’t feel a kick. It also works the other way in that if I haven’t noticed movement for a few hours I sit still and put on some music and there’s usually a kick within a song or two. A previous baby always kicked a lot after I ate something so I could do that if I wanted to check on them. You will probably start to notice things and if you don’t you can check in on them by having a poke or lying on your front and they will kick you to move.

I'm 29 weeks and my baby's pattern has completely changed or to say there is no pattern any more and she seems lazier I feel her every day but the anxiety is maddening. I did go get checked a few weeks back and everything was fine it's very difficult not to worry but I'm just trying to reassure myself that I am feeling her everyday even if it's not the same as it was 3-4 weeks ago it's more movement now I feel rather than kicks.

You’re too early yet. It can take up to 24 weeks to feel any sort of movement and they dont really ask you to monitor movement until after 28 weeks as there likely won’t be one before that. Movements will increase up to around 32 weeks. Kick counting hasn’t been advised now for a number of years. This is all current advice in the UK.

Being asked to start familiarising yourself with babies movements is so that you can start to notice baby’s patterns and different movements. It doesn’t mean you need to be worrying about them being in a pattern at 25 weeks as it’s just not likely to happen. They are still small enough that you might not even feel them in certain positions. You may find you have several days where you don’t feel anything at all. Of course if you are worried you can contact triage, but usually they aren’t concerned until after 28 weeks.

Maybe look into Aska bracelets, they were trialed in hospital with my second and I found them really helpful so bought one with my third.

I used a count the kicks band...

kickscount.shop/ols/products/wristband

Really settled my nerves

Thanks so much everyone for sharing your experiences ❤️ I will definitely work on getting in tune with the baby over the coming weeks and not stress over monitoring/kick counting too frequently!

@PickledScrump this is not what my hospital advises, they will see you from as soon as you start feeling movement and will do continuous monitoring after 26 weeks, hence my confusion as I know a lot of people and providers say after 28 weeks. But actually the NHS leaflet on fetal movement does not talk about a certain number of weeks, so I guess my hospital advice is in line with this.

@ct90 i would definitely ask them to clarify at your next appointment as what they are advising is not what is recommended and they will cause unnecessary anxiety giving out that information, which unfortunately is what you are experiencing. They need to be communicating in a clearer way. Again it is very normal before 28 weeks not to feel regular movement or even daily movement.

It is really hard when you can’t see your baby and know they are ok. Trusting your instincts and being in tune with your body can really help too. Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly.

Thanks @PickledScrump , I agree that it does create a lot of anxiety! Luckily I have my midwife appointment soon and will be asking her all these questions! Thanks 🥰